But I also feel like a terrible friend, because we've all had those friends who you keep inviting to go do things, and they keep saying no, no, no, to the point where you just want to tell them, 'Look, when you can make some time in your schedule for me, why don't you give me a call?' I TOTALLY AM THAT FRIEND RIGHT NOW, and I hate it.
And the other day, I got kind of down and started thinking and wondering how they all do everything so well while I feel like I can barely keep up. How do they have time to start the day with quiet time, do their hair and make-up, make elaborate egg and waffle breakfasts, iron their husband's clothes, work out, shower and do their hair/make-up again, do the school drop off/pick up, clean the house, have coffee or shopping dates, write thank you notes, craft cute little Christmas decorations, stop at Starbucks, make dinner, read books to their kids, bathe their kids, do the budget, spend time with their husband, and read bestsellers. How do they do it?! Are they taking meth, because they seriously must not sleep...ever.
And then luckily, I kept thinking: but what if they don't do it all either?
What if they have a housekeeper?
What if they workout at a gym where there's childcare?
What if they only have one kid?
What if they have more than one kid, but they're in school all day?
What if their husband works a predictable schedule and isn't often called in on weekends?
What if they're an extrovert and make time in their schedule for coffee and playdates because it's important for their sanity?
What if they don't work out at all?
What if they eat out a lot?
Because I'm not any of those things. I don't have any of those things. I don't do any of those things. Justin's work schedule is weird, and sometimes he doesn't have a day off for 10-14 days at a time. I have two kids, one of whom only sleeps if we really, really keep to the same EXACT schedule every day, which doesn't leave a lot of room to just play during the day. Right now for me, working out is more important for my sanity than coffee dates are. I'm an introvert, and I really need some time alone with a good book to feel recharged. I spend most evenings and naptimes either working on our budget, editing photos, or folding laundry. There are probably people out there who are better at managing and scheduling their time than I am. I like to sit down next to Justin at the end of a long day, snuggle up, and watch some Bones. That's just the way things are for me.
But so what if someone does have a housekeeper? Or if they can afford to eat out a lot? Or if they can work out while their kids are awake because their gym has childcare? Or if they tend to clean after their kids are asleep instead of watching TV? It doesn't make me better than them, nor them better than me. It makes our circumstances different. It makes their needs, and wants, and priorities different than mine. I forget sometimes that what is true for our family isn't necessarily true for everyone else. It's apples and oranges, really.
And as for the being a bad friend business...well, I don't know.
I haven't figured all that out yet.
Hopefully, they'll grant me a little grace until the yes's can become as frequent as the no's, because I just can't do any more than I can do.