To Justin

Babe,

This photo was literally taken about a half an hour before you asked me out {for the blog readers who didn't know us then, we're in the front row, on the right}. Do you remember? I think virtually everyone knew that you were planning to ask me out besides me. I remember Maren had come up with some ridiculous reason for us to switch her seats so that you could sit by me...and I was thrilled. I think I was sitting as close as physically possible without sitting on your lap!

Have I told you that right before going to Orlando, I had sworn to myself that I would NOT fall for you on that trip. I had liked you for months, but had become convinced that you didn't like me back. I remember talking to some of my friends about how I was NOT going to come back from Orlando swooning over you. I was going away to college in a few months, and it was not in my plan to go with a boyfriend. I remember one of my friends asking, "Mere, what IS it with this guy?! Why can't you just let it go and move on?" I shrugged and said that I didn't know, but I distinctly remember thinking to myself that I couldn't give up on the idea of you and I, because if we ever did get together, I thought it would be forever. Then, I distinctly brushed that thought out of my mind. I was 17...this was puppy love, not forever.

Do you remember sitting by the pool just a few nights after we were dating? You basically laid it all out there that you weren't really interested in having a summer fling. You didn't want to just date--you wanted to be boyfriend and girlfriend. If we were going to do this, you wanted to do it right, because you thought we had a chance to have something serious. I remember being so, so thrilled. Shocked that we had both come to the same conclusion independently. But I was also worried...I had never been in a real relationship before. How was I supposed to know if this was IT?

I still love looking back at pictures from when we were dating, because we were so quick to laugh. We didn't see each other every day, so when we did see each other, we tended to put everything else aside, and just have fun. That's probably something I could learn from even now--it's so easy to get wrapped up in the laundry, dishes, and taking care of Lizzy. Sometimes, it's so good just to play around and be silly--I treasure the little moments like last night, giggling on the couch as we watched the Grammy's.

In high school, I knew plenty of girls that wanted to get married young and start families. I wasn't one of them. I had big plans that did not include being married before I was 25. Once you and I started dating, I was scared. I was scared because I was young, and I was falling for you so fast. Part of me was saying "It's him that you're meant to be with" while the other part of me was saying, "You're only 18. What do you know? You're too young for anything serious."

From the beginning, being with you was comfortable. I always remember feeling like I could totally be myself around you. Do you have any idea what a gift that was to my teenage soul? Never feeling like I had to impress you, or to be anyone other than myself? You loved me just as I was. As I am. In all the chaos and craziness that my life was--working three jobs and taking 20 credits a term in college, whenever I was with you, I felt calm, and at peace. It wasn't long before I started to think that maybe that crazy voice in my head telling me that you were the one for me, wasn't so crazy after all. In fact, it was quite possibly God, nudging me towards you. And then, I wasn't scared anymore...which is how the girl-who-would-never-be-married-before-25 came to be married at 20.

I'm so glad that I did.
We've been through so much together since that warm summer day in 2004. Joy, anger, excitement, worry, elation. I am so thankful for every minute of it. Most of all, I'm so thankful to have you by my side through it all. To balance me out.

I love you as much now as I did then. Actually, more. There's nothing like watching your husband become a father. As "our song" goes, I love you more than I have ever found a way to say to you.


Happy Valentine's Day. Here's to many, many more.

For ever and For Always,
Mere