Snippets

-On Sunday, we headed to Justin's parents' house after church. There was a HUGE wind-storm that apparently downed several big trees on power lines. The power went out at about 2pm-ish, and was still out when we left about 6:30pm. While it would undoubtedly be irritating not to have running water overnight, it was actually kind of nice to spend a quiet, candle-filled afternoon with the family. It reminded me just how little we actually NEED power during the day!

-A lady at church kind of freaked me out yesterday. She expressed concern to me that Lizzy walks slightly pigeon-toed, and sometimes drags one of her toes. I had noticed that she sometimes drags her toe, but have noticed that it's usually only when we've just sized up in her shoes, or when she trips because she's trying to run faster than her little legs can carry her. Other than that, I hadn't noticed that she was particularly pigeon toed, but I've heard that it's common for kids to walk slightly pigeon-toed at Lizzy's age, and that even if she WAS walking pigeon-toed, now the standard treatment is often to do nothing unless it's seriously impeding the child's ability to walk. I asked Justin's mom about it after church, and she told me that Justin's sister was pretty pigeon toed, but that she definitely wouldn't worry about Lizzy at this point. I know the lady was just trying to help,  but it's kind of awkward and weird feeling as a mom when someone expresses concern to you about your kid--like you're not taking care of them. I felt pretty defensive about it, actually.

-I finished the book Midwives by Chris Bohjalian, and really, really liked it. It's kind of funny because I remember starting that book five or six times when it first came out, and I just COULD NOT get into it. This time? I loved it. Even though I'm not someone who feels passionate about home births, it was a truly interesting piece of fiction, and I really enjoyed it.

- I am LOVING Beth Moore's study of David that we're doing. I know she's a controversial person, and this is the only study of hers that I've participated in, so I really can't attest to anything else, but I am so enjoying this one. The videos are great, but more than anything, I'm enjoying the "homework" in between sessions. It's nice for me to have some quiet time really reading and delving into the Bible on a daily basis. I'm not sure I've ever had that in my life before.

-Justin and I are registered for a 5k that's happening in less than a month! I'm kind of nervous because we've been doing Insanity recently so I haven't been running, and haven't actually run 3.1 miles, even when I got to the 30 plus minute runs of C25K. Still, I'm pretty confident that Insanity is helping us build up the cardio endurance that we need to run. I'm trying to decide whether we should start substituting our Saturday Insanity workout for a run? I really WANT to do every day of Insanity though, and I don't think we could realistically do both. Our other option would be just to keep doing Insanity, and show up for the 5k without really training for it--maybe it doesn't really matter whether we actually run the whole thing or what our time is, but just that we do it and finish. Maybe we'll be pleasantly surprised after all this Insanity insanity.

-I suckered two friends into letting me do newborn sessions with them this spring, and I am so excited about it. I have some fun ideas, I just need to finish knitting another cocoon or two and find (or make) a beanbag. I need to be careful though, because I could easily spend hundreds of dollars buying props!

Snippets

- Well, I've read a number of books recently. I'd really recommend Elizabeth Berg's The Last Time I Saw You. The premise is essentially a group of classmates preparing for their 40th high school reunion. Each has a different reason that they want to attend the reunion (to have a last chance with that high school crush, to show everyone how much cooler they are now, to make amends for bad behavior), and I enjoyed all the different perspectives. It was also just funny. I laughed out loud at this section:

"Hilly's fiance is a doctor. A proctologist, specializing in the wonderful world of buttholes and rectums, but still. Dorothy is working up to asking the question that--come on!--must occur to everyone to ask him: What exactly made you chose this line of work? When Dorothy tried to ask her daughter about it, all Hilly did was get mad. It is true Dorothy could have used a more sensitive approach--what she'd asked Hilly was "Why in the wide, wide world would you ever want to look up people's heinies all day?" Still, Dorothy doesn't see why Hilly had to take such offense. Her daughter had said something like perhaps Dorothy should consider the fact that preventing and treating cancer is a pretty noble goal. But that still didn't answer the question, did it?" (p 6).

- I'm still sort of plugging away on Couch to 5k. Sort of. I'm getting a little bored with running on the treadmill, and it's just been too cold to run outside with Lizzy, now that I have a jogging stroller (my dad found one for $15 on Craigslist, yay!). A friend lent us Insanity Cardio Abs, and Justin and I have done that for the last few nights. It's kind of fun to do something else besides running, but still know that I'm increasing my cardio capacity. It is HARD! I need to get our hands on the whole set of videos. I do want to finish the program, I just don't want to finish and then never run ever again, so I need to get to the point where I'm doing it for the enjoyment of it, not just to finish the program.

-I know that I need to write Lizzy's 13 month letter, but honestly, the last couple of weeks have been REALLY difficult behaviorally with her, and I don't want to write anything that I'll regret later. Seriously, I can't tell you how many times I've been holding Lizzy and she's gotten mad at me about something and tried to gouge out my eyes. I'm not exaggerating. The last time this happened, she had tried to grab my glasses (which were on top of my head), I told her "No thank you, not for babies", and she promptly tried to scratch my eyeball. I set her down, and a 25 minute tantrum ensued. I eventually put her in her crib because she kept throwing herself backwards against our hardwood floors. 25 minute tantrums because she wants my coffee, or doesn't want whatever I've served for dinner are also common. So is her hitting me, trying to kick the cat, trying to bite me, coming up behind me and pinching my legs/scratching me. Or just SCREAMING for no discernible reason. Seriously. I can't tell you how many times I've thought what happened to my sweet child?! Reading a few articles on Baby Center calmed me down a bit. I had to laugh at the title of the 13 month article, which was "A stranger among you?". The article mentioned many of the behavioral issues we've been dealing with, so I guess at least I know she's developmentally on track, ha!

-Seriously though, it's kind of exhausting. Especially since I'm still getting up with her at least once a night due to hysterical screaming. I was thisclose to getting Justin a card for Valentine's Day that said, "Forget chocolates or candy, the best way to show your love to me would be letting me have an extra hour of sleep. C'mon, SHOW ME YOUR LOVE."  I cracked up in the store  And then, and entire shelf of cards and dolls came crashing down on my head. The two 30ish men browsing in the Valentine section just laughed at me and walked away leaving me all by myself to pick things up. Thank you so much, jerks.

-In other news, I'm also on a knitting kick. I've made several baby blankets for friends, and I have several more to make as well. I would also REALLY like to knit myself a blanket with the big size 50 needles. One of the recent baby blankets I made was 4 strands knitted together using the size 50 needles, and it is SO thick and warm and chunky. Too bad it would probably cost more than $50 to knit a big blanket!

Photo Snippets

On Saturday, Justin finally got back from being out of town for a week. I survived, but just barely. Basically, I think I averaged 3-4 hours of sleep a night the entire week he was gone. Not gonna lie, it was hard, mostly because Lizzy was sick, and I ended up holding her basically 20 hours a day.

Also, I obviously wasn't able to get a good run in since I was holding Lizzy 24/7. I didn't get to run yesterday either because I literally had the worst migraine I've ever had in my life, and I'm really hoping I'm not getting this bug that's going around. I'm kind of freaking out about not really having run in a week. I'm already feeling like I've been on Week 6 of C25k forever, and now I might have to repeat it again. Ugh. I know it doesn't matter if I repeat a week, I just want to actually finish this thing for once. Anyway...


Lisa, this photo is for you. Check out this onesie!!! Giraffe + Hippo forevah! I know, it's probably actually a zebra, but I have decided that it's a giraffe, and that's that. The end.

On Friday, she finally felt a little better, and did NOT want me to hold her at all. However, she DID want me to sit right next to her all day, and flipped out if I even walked into the kitchen. I took the opportunity to start knitting a baby blanket for a friend. I used size 50 needles and three strands of yarn, and it knitted up in just three or four hours.



Justin luckily made it home just in time for his band's big benefit concert for a local food bank. I got to practice taking concert photos, which I think is one of the trickier types of photography--you're dealing with very low light, then usually moving colored lights, moving subjects (in very low light) and other funky stuff.



I shot exclusively with my nifty fifty lens, because it's the fastest lens I have, and I was pretty pleased. I wanted more of a portrait-style than the whole band shots because of the venue, and I thought it worked out pretty well.









It was a really fun concert, and we raised enough to fund the food pantry for a month! Not too shabby!

Just Things

-We are still in teething hell. Friday and Saturday, poor Lizzy had a fever and was just miserable. Then, yesterday and Sunday, she no longer had a fever, but was obviously still hurting despite the motrin. Unfortunately, that manifested itself as Lizzy being absolutely naughty. She bit. She threw food on purpose. She spit her milk at me. She hit. She screamed in the highest pitch scream known to man. She threw huge and elaborate tantrums over everything. On one hand, I feel badly for her because she is obviously in pain. On the other hand, she has definitely been trying my patience lately. HOLY COW. Moms--what did you do when your kiddos this age threw all out tantrums? We've been doing the time-out thing, which Lizzy obviously understands, but I haven't noticed much of a difference in behavior at this point. I'm just hoping that today brings my usual happy kiddo back.

-In the face of all this craziness with Lizzy, Justin will probably be going out of town for work soon. I've been trying not to grumble too much to him, but it SUCKS for so many reasons--Lizzy has been a handful lately, and I so appreciate his help. Lizzy knows when it's (roughly) time for dad to be home, and stares at the window and says, "Dada? Dada?" over and over...she's going to miss him. Plus, every time he's out of town for work, I have these awful morbid realizations that this is what it would be like if he died. Seriously morbid, and seriously depressing. And consequently, I battle some serious anxiety whenever he's gone. I think I might go stay at my parent's house for a few days, and then I'm hoping that between Bible Study and Mom's Group, I'll keep fairly busy.

-I'm waaaaaaaayyyyy behind the times and I'm reading The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, and so far, I really like it. I've temporarily lost interest in Outlander #4.

-I've continued as usual with the Couch to 5k program, and finished W6D2 last night. I have to say that it was really hard to go back to the intervals! I think they are harder than the distance runs! I really felt like I was dragging this week. But the crazy thing is that I'm done with the intervals. On Wednesday, I'll run a 25 minute run, and then after that, I'll run one week's worth of 28 minute runs and one week's worth of 30 minute runs. It's kind of funny, because even after running for 20 minutes the other day, those 25, 28, and 30 minute runs still feel kind of unattainable. But I just plan to keep tossing motivational messages up on the wall, and go for it. The REAL trick will be whether or not I'll be able to continue running while Justin is gone! 

- Speaking of running, if you're lucky enough to have an iPhone (I am not, but Justin was able to buy one through his work) or possibly an Android, the RunKeeper Pro app is free through the rest of the month. It's normally $9.99, so I'd jump on it if you think you'll EVER use it!

20 Minutes

I am the first person to tell you that I am NOT a runner. 

Playing basketball in high school, I would *literally* get physically sick just thinking about conditioning.

And even then, we weren't usually straight up running for more than 8 minutes at a time. 

But for some reason, I have always wanted to run a 5k. 

So I've started the Couch to 5k program several times.

I usually quit around week 4, because running for 5 minutes was just too hard. 

Don't laugh--it WAS hard for me. 

But today? Today I finished Week 5 Day 3.

The first LONG run of the program. 

Jumping from running 8 minutes, to running twenty minutes. 

Twenty minutes.

I ran for TWENTY MINUTES, without stopping or pausing. 

Okay, some of the time was probably more of a shuffle than a run. 

But I finished, and I did not stop. 

I kind of can't believe it--20 minutes probably seems small to most, but it was HUGE for me.

And then I cried, because I beat my own worst enemy--myself.

Snippeters

I know, I know..."snippeters" isn't a real word. Oh well. I'm not sure that "snippets" is either. So there.

-Tomorrow, I do the big dreaded 20 minute run for Couch to 5k. I'm nervous...I'm not sure that I've really ever ran for 20 minutes. Even in high school when I was playing basketball or softball, we never ran the mile or anything. We did conditioning, but it wasn't *just* running. Anyway, I'm nervous. I think I can do it, but I'm also kind of scared that I can't.

-Do you guys have the alarm clock fight? Seriously. Justin's alarms start going off every morning at 5-something AM. Which would be fine, except that they continue to go off until 7-something AM, which is when he actually gets up. And it irritates the ever-living-daylights out of me because while he can sleep through anything, I cannot. And half the time, by the time the first alarm starts going off, I have been asleep for approximately 15 minutes, after getting up with Lizzy {have I mentioned that she is getting all four of her molars, and we are in teething hell?} Anyway, Justin's alarm clock went off at 5-something AM this morning, and we had the following conversation:

Me (trying to shake Justin awake): Babe, your alarm is going off.
Justin: I know. I hear it.
Me: Well could you turn it OFF for God sake?
Justin: No, I love the sound. It is music to my soul. Ah OOOO Gah. Ah OOOOO Gah. Isn't that nice?
Me: Seriously? Turn off your stupid alarm. It's been going off for like half an hour.
Justin: Ah OOOO Gah. {Incomprehensible gibberish} singing along?

At that was the point in which I realized that he was TOTALLY still asleep. To be fair, I have some weird recollection of trying to wake Justin up in the middle of the night to tell him something he had to remember about giving someone a shot...which is obviously something that I have no knowledge about, but apparently I thought I was just little miss smarty pants at 3am. I might be just a little sleep deprived.

-I am totally wondering why I didn't add "Go to IKEA" to my 101 in 1001 list. I have never been there. Nor do I own anything from IKEA.

- Lizzy's pediatrician gave us unexpected food advice at our 12-month well baby. They have always been pretty conservative with food, (they recommended only purees until at least 10 months, while we went with an approach closer to baby led weaning, but did also use purees too), so I was really surprised that he told us that at 12 months, anything is fair game. Peanut butter, honey, anything. He says that these are the latest recommendations based on the research...but I'm not sure that we'll follow, especially when it comes to honey. Justin used to work at a bee farm, and he wasn't sold on introducing honey either. Has anybody else heard this?

State of My Body: One Year Postpartum

Before becoming pregnant, and even while I was pregnant, I worried about my body post-pregnancy, as I'm sure most women do. Nearly everyone assured me that since I was breastfeeding, the weight would melt off with little to no effort, and I'd be back in my normal jeans in no time.

But I was worried--see, I knew from speaking to both my mom and my mother-in-law that neither had amazing breastfeeding weight loss experiences. In fact, my mom told me that she didn't lose a pound until she stopped breastfeeding. And I knew that nearly everyone in my family has struggled with their weight. And I knew that my husband loves pizza, and ice cream, and constantly brings home goodies that I have a hugely difficult time saying no to. So, I was worried.

And as you may remember, the whole postpartum experience was not a pleasant one for me. I was hugely swollen for weeks from being pumped with fluids. I tore badly, and was in a lot of pain, for weeks. Breastfeeding was a battle, and hurt like hell. And as the months progressed, I never lost a pound past that initial drop before leaving the hospital, despite working out and eating fairly healthily.

Several months ago, I took the scale outside to the garage. It was causing more harm than good. I decided to track a few days worth of calories on The Daily Plate just to see where I was at. I started doing the 30 Day Shred...and I finally did complete each level 10 times, though it took more than 30 days. I was excited about things...I had dropped two jeans sizes (but still wasn't back to my original size), and was feeling good. I stepped on the scale, and discovered that I weighed exactly one pound less than I had about three months prior. I was super discouraged. I felt like everyone around me who had a baby around the same time was back to their "normal" self, and I wasn't. And Justin was super tired of hearing me talk about it. He didn't understand how I could hate my body so much, and how it could destroy a day for me so easily (clothes shopping, anyone?). My self-esteem was nonexistent.

People would suggest Weight Watchers, or Nutrisystem, or any other diet when I'd complain, but (a) we simply didn't have room in the budget for it, and (b) I was terrified that I'd sign up for one of those things and fail. 

So, I think it was in October that I decided that instead of weighing myself, I would take my measurements, and track those on The Daily Plate instead. I continued doing the 30 Day Shred, and just before Christmas, I re-started the Couch to 5k Program (which I have started a number of times, but never finished). From the time I started measuring in October to the last time I took measurements (late December), I have lost 2.5 inches from my hips, 3.5 inches from my waist, and 2.5 inches from my chest. I really have no idea what's normal in terms of losing inches, so I'm not sure if that's a lot or hardly any, but it sure is nice to see progress!

I've decided to refrain from taking measurements again until after I conquer the 20 minute run next week...though I think they've probably decreased since the last time I took them. Seeing pictures from Lizzy's party was literally the first time that I had seen a picture of myself and thought that I looked relatively normal and not absolutely huge. Also? As I write this (Thursday night), I'm wearing pajama pants that I received for Christmas and couldn't even pull up over my hips at the time. But now I'm wearing them and they aren't skin tight, so that's good. And for the first time yesterday, I was able to successfully zip and button a pair of my pre-pregnancy jeans...I've still got some serious muffin top going on, so they're not quite ready to leave the house in, but again, it's progress.

My point in this isn't to have y'all cheer for me and say way to go. It also isn't to say "poor me...how come everyone else has it so easy?!" I guess my point in writing this is to give a voice to those of us who really struggle with reclaiming our bodies after having a baby--one year later, I'm still probably not back to my pre-pregnancy weight. But in a lot of ways, I might be more healthy. It's kind of incredible to see what my body can do with this running thing...I'm strong. And I'm down three (maybe four) pants sizes...so even if I stepped on the scale tomorrow and hadn't lost a pound, I can confidently say that I AM making progress.

And that feels good.

Snippets

-So first of all, LIZZY'S FIRST BIRTHDAY PARTY IS TOMORROW. Holy cow...where did the past year go? To be honest, I always kind of rolled my eyes when I heard other moms gush about how big their little babies were getting, but seriously, I get it. I don't think a year has EVER flown by so fast in my life!

-In regards to the above, I'm making Lizzy her own little cake, but for the adults, I'm making a Snickers Bar Trifle. I'm hoping there's not a revolt due to the lack of cake, but hello...that looks so yummy! I'm also making Leah's 3-2-1 Beef...which has seriously become my go-to recipe for family gatherings. With Black Butte Porter (yeah Deschutes Brewery!) it is delicious. 

-Doing better on the running in terms of shin splints and things, but I'm still struggling with those three minute runs. I feel like such a wuss saying that I'm struggling with running for three minutes. Seriously...how hard could that be? I even cover up the time, but by the 2:00 mark into the last 3:00 interval, I'm wheezing up a storm.

-My mom's group asked if I would talk about photography tips for moms at their next meeting. I'm excited, but also a little overwhelmed about where to start...there is such a diverse group of women, and I'm struggling with how much info and detail to go into. I want to give enough that they can actually make some good changes, but not so much that they just get totally overwhelmed and don't try anything.

-I just finished the book The Unnamed by Joshua Ferris. I feel like most book people that I respect totally loved it, and I hated it. Big time. I'm okay with leaving some things unanswered, but with this particular book, I felt like I read and read, and at the end I knew nothing more than when I started, and had no more of a connection with any of the characters...in fact, I liked them even less. Not off to a great start with books in 2011! But, I just picked up the 4th Outlander book and The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo from the library yesterday. Here's hoping that I have better luck with them!

On Running.

I have never liked running. I have also never been very good at it (I'm SLOW). In high school, when we used to do conditioning for basketball, I'd worry so much about it that I'd physically get sick.

But somehow, I've also always really wanted to run a 5k. So, I've started the Couch to 5k program a number of times, but have honestly never finished. I get up to the point where you're supposed to be running 3 or 5 minutes at a time, and I give up. I'm not really sure whether it's a mental thing or a physical thing.

Anyway, you may have noticed on my sidebar that I've started the Couch to 5k thing up again. I haven't really been taking the prescribed days off, because for me, it's usually better to get into the habit of doing something nearly every day. If I start out only doing something three days a week, it's easy for me to get busy and not take the time.

It's been going pretty well so far. I followed this tutorial on how to make my own "podcast"/mp3 with my own music and voice prompts instead of using the ones you can download online with the crappy techno music, and that has been really nice. I don't have an iPhone, so previously, if I wanted to use my own music, I had to watch the clock the whole time, and that's not good for me--again, I think it's kind of a mental thing for me.

Last night though, I did the Week 3, Day 1 workout...and I'm back into the 3 minute runs. I stopped for 5 seconds during the second 3 minute run, but other than that, I finished. I have to admit though...it's a little bit discouraging...if I'm having a hard time running for three minutes, a 5k seems so out of reach!

Also, I'm getting major shin splints, which sucks. My shoes are less than a year old, so I don't really think it's them. I got some arch support inserts (I have freakishly high arches) and that helped a bit the first day, but they're back to hurting a lot...maybe at this point I SHOULD start taking a day off in between runs. But, I'm not convinced that it's not something I should just "push through" either.  Any magical shin splint recommendations?!

Also...what's your favorite song to run to? Right now, I love "King of Anything" by Sara Bareilles  and "Til I Collapse" by Eminem for the longer runs, but I need some new ideas!