The Good, The Bad, & The Ugly

I feel like life has been a whirlwind lately. I feel like we've been going and going non-stop, but yet when people say, "Oh, what have you been up to?!"...I have no real answer. I don't know what we've been up to really, just that it's been crazy!

Justin worked out of town for almost a week, in the midst of the crazy no-one-allowed-outside smoke. Not Allowed Outside + Solo Parenting = I Almost Lost My Shit On Day 2. So, we packed up and went to visit my parents for awhile.

Thank goodness for family nearby. That week was exhausting, and not one that I hope to have to repeat any time soon!

Becca's newest two tricks are "give snuggles" and "give kisses". I don't know if you've ever experienced a baby that's just learning to snuggle and kiss, but those suckers are AGGRESSIVE. And God-forbid that you try to reciprocate and hug back. No. That's not in her plan.

In the past week, I also celebrated a birthday! I had a great evening hanging with the family and having pizza. All of us have been busy lately, and it was just such a blessing to all actually be in the same place for once! It was truly a great day. And then that night, someone tried to steal our car.

I woke up in the morning, and saw our car left down the street and in the middle of the road. I still don't know how this happened, because we were both up most of the night with Becca. But it did. This meant that what was supposed to be a relaxing Friday was suddenly filled with sherrifs and fingerprinting and trying to make lists of what all was taken...because apparently, when he realized that he couldn't turn the steering wheel without keys, he got mad and loaded himself up with stuff from our car. I don't know if you've ever played that baby shower game where they bring out a tray of stuff for you to look at, and then a bit later they bring out another tray and you have to write down what's missing...but it was like that. There are a few things that you know are gone right away, but then you continue to find new things every day that you didn't even realize were gone until you needed to use them.

Like the Ergo (which we later found dumped in a field near our house). Or a cell-phone charger. Or a set of keys that the guy probably thought were house keys but weren't and will be of no use to him. Basically, nothing particularly valuable, but all stuff that we use a lot. I feel like every day we find something else, and it makes me SO MAD all over again. But yesterday takes the cake: we got to swim lessons, and discovered that Lizzy's goggles were gone.  WHAT KIND OF JERK STEALS A THREE YEAR OLD'S SWIM GOGGLES?! I mean, really.

Sigh. I'm over it. I'm over thinking about it, but I can't STOP thinking about it, because the police also mentioned that they may have an idea of who was involved, and it's someone who recently held someone at knifepoint. Oh, and he also likes to try and break in to people's houses WHILE THEY ARE HOME. Ugh. I've been battling some serious anxiety about all this.

Which brings me to the next thing... my sister-in-law's dog just had 11 puppies. The dad is a lab, and the mom is a rottweiler (I feel like we say "rottweiler", and people instinctively wince, but she's a super sweet dog). Justin has really been wanting to get a puppy, and I've been pretty on the fence, because I feel like a puppy needs nearly the same amount of attention that a kid does, and I'm not trying to get any less sleep and/or rest than I already do. On the other hand, Justin has pretty firmly argued that the best time to get a dog would be now, so that the dog and the kids can grow up together. The car incident has me leaning a bit more towards getting the dog , but honestly, I'm still just a bit worried. I just feel really overwhelmed and unable to keep up with the basics like dishes and laundry as it is, and I worry about adding anything else to the mix.

Other than that, there's been lots of baseball/softball, and that bumps up to twice a week starting this week.

I mean, I like seeing my husband's butt in baseball pants and all...but it would be nice to see his face occasionally too ;)

There's been some bad/ugly, but there's also been a lot of good, and hopefully some memories made. And I'm so thankful. 

Feminism. WOHM. SAHM. Oh my!

I was going to wait until tomorrow morning to post this, but it's been on my mind all day, and I just can't. This morning, I posted what I thought was a completely innocuous post. I was pretty surprised to receive the following comment:

I responded as neutrally as I could in the comments section of that post, because I think that a lot of it was just simply misdirected (i.e. that I do all the housework or that I order and prioritize my status as a wife and mother) but I've been thinking about it  all day, and I have more to say. I apologize in advance if this is a bit of a ramble, but I hope y'all will take just a few minutes to read it--it's from the heart.

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Linda Hirshman wrote a book in 2006 called Get to Work: A Manifesto for Women of the World that is essentially summed up by the comment from "Concerned Feminist" above--that women who choose to stay at home rather than work are making equality more difficult for everyone else. Hirshman has also said that she doesn't buy into anecdotes from stay-at-home mothers and homemakers that it's the most fulfilling thing they could imagine doing, saying, "I would like to see a description of their daily lives that substantiates that position...One of the things I've done working on my book is to read a lot of the diaries online, and their description of their lives does not sound particularly interesting or fulfilling for a complicated person, for a complicated, educated person." 

Now, I disagree with Hirshman for a plethora of reasons, the least of which being the air of entitlement and class-ism that she seems to espouse (i.e. those of us with educations shouldn't stay at home, but it's okay for us to pay the poor uneducated people to raise our children, because those people aren't very important or smart anyway), but this is nothing new--we all hear similar (albeit less judgmental) sentiments from both sides of the coin often, don't we? Stay-at-home moms tell their mom friends who work outside the home, "I just couldn't imagine letting anyone else raise my children." On the other hand, moms who work outside the home tell their stay-at-home mom friends, "I just don't know what you do with yourself all day while your son is at school! I'd be so bored!" 

Right? 

I get that we've already made the decision that we think is best for our family, and so it's hard to imagine doing anything to the contrary. But as in anything, there is no universal best--there's no "best" pair of jeans, no "best" meal, no "best" way to parent, no "best" decision in terms of staying home or continuing to work--there's only the right decision for us and for our families. What works for me might not work for you, but that doesn't mean that what I've chosen is wrong either. 

I've been blogging since 2004, and during that time, I've had the privilege of getting to know some incredible and amazing men and women online. 

I've gotten to know Molly, who has two beautiful boys and works out of the home full time. Guess what? She's doing the right thing, and she's a great mom. 

I've gotten to know Leah, who also has two beautiful boys, and works out of the home right now in order that she'll be able to stay at home with her boys in the long-term. Guess what? She's doing the right thing, and she's a great mom. 

I've gotten to know Emily, who has one little guy, and works part-time. Guess what? She's doing the right thing, and she's a great mom. 

I've gotten to know Katie, who has a sweet little girl, and works part-time(?) from home. Guess what? She's doing the right thing, and she's a great mom. 

And then there's me, who has a degree, used to work full-time, and now I'm staying home with Lizzy, and doing photography on the side. Guess what? I'm doing the right thing, and I'm a great mom too. 

We're all doing the right thing, because we're all making the best decisions that we can for our families with the resources we have available to work with. I know, it sounds corny, but it's true. Whether we work full-time, part-time, out-of-the-home, in the home, or even consider staying-at-home work at all, we're doing what we think is right for our families, right now. Period. That's the best any of us can do.

Let's knock off pretending like we know how to best run each others lives, and focus on running our own, eh?

Dear JP Morgan Chase,

Despite having an extremely bad experience during the transition from WAMU to Chase, we stuck with you. We gave you a chance. Mostly because all of our bills were set up as direct deposit and it was just a huge pain in the butt to switch everything over.But now? We're done. Justin and I plan to go open an account at a local credit union as soon as possible.

See, several months ago, you announced that checking accounts would no longer be free. A monthly service fee of $10 would be added to the account unless (a) a deposit of more than $500 was made each month (b) the checking account maintains a minimum daily balance of $1500, or (c) you have a daily balance of $5000 in linked deposits/investments.

Justin and I both dislike these plans immensely--it drives me crazy that those who are struggling to make ends meet and don't have a minimum balance of $1500 are penalized by a monthly fee while those who are rich pay nothing. However, we were told by two different employees at two different Chase branches in two different cities that since Justin is paid once a month and his paycheck is equivalent to more than $500, that we would not be subject to the monthly fee.

Except, as I've just discovered after noticing that we WERE charged a monthly fee last month, it must be a direct deposit of $500 or more.

The small business that Justin works for doesn't offer direct deposit. So, we will be changing banks. We're going to a local credit union. Where...*gasp* when you deposit a check,  our funds are available that same day. Where there is no monthly service charge for being an average joe/jane. I am so irritated with you, JP Morgan Chase, because my experience with you has shown that unless a customer is rolling in the big bucks, you (as a whole) don't care about us at all. Do you realize that even your own employees are often seen grimacing and saying, "I'm so sorry...I don't agree with these new policies at all, but there's nothing I can do,"?

I know that you people up in the Upper Management at JP Morgan Chase, the ones who are making all the decisions, probably won't ever read this. I'm barely a blip on your radar screen. But someday? Someone might Google JP Morgan Chase and find their way to this blog post. I hope they do. I hope they're spared the hassle that banking with you has caused us.

We're moving on. It's you, not us.

It's State Law, Donnie Baker.

PS- Justin and Dad, today's post title is dedicated to you :)

Okay, so it's Monday. And I was up half the night with a screaming Lizzy. And then I woke up at 5am to have Shaun T kick my butt. And I still have to go grocery shopping at that big local grocery store that's a pain in the butt but so worth it for lower prices. So I needed to start my morning off with a little something fun. And because I'm just a little bit of a nerd who happens to love law, that fun happened to be dumb laws. Did you know that there are tons of crazy/stupid/silly laws still on the books in various states?

For example, in Oregon, you're not allowed to pump your own gas...a law that people from outside of Oregon think is absurd, but for me it's just normal, 'cause that's all I've known. I think I've pumped my own gas maybe twice in my life. Not gonna lie, it kind of scares me to death every time.

Another silly Oregon law? Dishes must drip dry, apparently. Mine don't. Shhh, don't tell.

Also? It's apparently illegal to eat ice cream on Sunday. Or to whisper "dirty" things into your lover's ear during sex. Or to use canned corn as fishing bait, which I'm sure must be a REAL big problem. The horror. 

In Hood River, Oregon, juggling is strictly prohibited without a license. In Marion, OR, you cannot eat a doughnut while walking backwards down the street. I often wonder what must have happened to necessitate laws like these to be put on the books.

I want to hear about the crazy/funny/stupid laws in your state. So go to www.dumblaws.com, and report back to me in the comments!

Snippets

- Well, I've read a number of books recently. I'd really recommend Elizabeth Berg's The Last Time I Saw You. The premise is essentially a group of classmates preparing for their 40th high school reunion. Each has a different reason that they want to attend the reunion (to have a last chance with that high school crush, to show everyone how much cooler they are now, to make amends for bad behavior), and I enjoyed all the different perspectives. It was also just funny. I laughed out loud at this section:

"Hilly's fiance is a doctor. A proctologist, specializing in the wonderful world of buttholes and rectums, but still. Dorothy is working up to asking the question that--come on!--must occur to everyone to ask him: What exactly made you chose this line of work? When Dorothy tried to ask her daughter about it, all Hilly did was get mad. It is true Dorothy could have used a more sensitive approach--what she'd asked Hilly was "Why in the wide, wide world would you ever want to look up people's heinies all day?" Still, Dorothy doesn't see why Hilly had to take such offense. Her daughter had said something like perhaps Dorothy should consider the fact that preventing and treating cancer is a pretty noble goal. But that still didn't answer the question, did it?" (p 6).

- I'm still sort of plugging away on Couch to 5k. Sort of. I'm getting a little bored with running on the treadmill, and it's just been too cold to run outside with Lizzy, now that I have a jogging stroller (my dad found one for $15 on Craigslist, yay!). A friend lent us Insanity Cardio Abs, and Justin and I have done that for the last few nights. It's kind of fun to do something else besides running, but still know that I'm increasing my cardio capacity. It is HARD! I need to get our hands on the whole set of videos. I do want to finish the program, I just don't want to finish and then never run ever again, so I need to get to the point where I'm doing it for the enjoyment of it, not just to finish the program.

-I know that I need to write Lizzy's 13 month letter, but honestly, the last couple of weeks have been REALLY difficult behaviorally with her, and I don't want to write anything that I'll regret later. Seriously, I can't tell you how many times I've been holding Lizzy and she's gotten mad at me about something and tried to gouge out my eyes. I'm not exaggerating. The last time this happened, she had tried to grab my glasses (which were on top of my head), I told her "No thank you, not for babies", and she promptly tried to scratch my eyeball. I set her down, and a 25 minute tantrum ensued. I eventually put her in her crib because she kept throwing herself backwards against our hardwood floors. 25 minute tantrums because she wants my coffee, or doesn't want whatever I've served for dinner are also common. So is her hitting me, trying to kick the cat, trying to bite me, coming up behind me and pinching my legs/scratching me. Or just SCREAMING for no discernible reason. Seriously. I can't tell you how many times I've thought what happened to my sweet child?! Reading a few articles on Baby Center calmed me down a bit. I had to laugh at the title of the 13 month article, which was "A stranger among you?". The article mentioned many of the behavioral issues we've been dealing with, so I guess at least I know she's developmentally on track, ha!

-Seriously though, it's kind of exhausting. Especially since I'm still getting up with her at least once a night due to hysterical screaming. I was thisclose to getting Justin a card for Valentine's Day that said, "Forget chocolates or candy, the best way to show your love to me would be letting me have an extra hour of sleep. C'mon, SHOW ME YOUR LOVE."  I cracked up in the store  And then, and entire shelf of cards and dolls came crashing down on my head. The two 30ish men browsing in the Valentine section just laughed at me and walked away leaving me all by myself to pick things up. Thank you so much, jerks.

-In other news, I'm also on a knitting kick. I've made several baby blankets for friends, and I have several more to make as well. I would also REALLY like to knit myself a blanket with the big size 50 needles. One of the recent baby blankets I made was 4 strands knitted together using the size 50 needles, and it is SO thick and warm and chunky. Too bad it would probably cost more than $50 to knit a big blanket!

The Exclusion of Eliza Schaaf.

I'd like to tell you a story about a woman named Eliza Schaaf. I wish that it were a fictional story, but it's not. It's a story that makes me incredibly ashamed of my alma matter, Southern Oregon University.

The heart of the story goes like this: Eliza Schaaf is a 20 year old woman with Down Syndrome. Eliza graduated from Ashland High School (the high school in the town that SOU is located in) with a modified diploma last June. During her time at AHS, Eliza participated in standard classes (not special education classes) with an assistant. Eliza is well-known in the small community as an exceptional student, and was even the keynote speaker at a Down Syndrome event locally.

One of Eliza's desires was to attend college. She enrolled as a non-admitted student in one class this fast fall, Intro to Ceramics--something I believe Eliza was already familiar with. Eliza's parents made contact with the professor ahead of time, explained that Eliza has Down Syndrome, and that she would likely have an educational assistant. They made it clear that they did not expect the professor to alter the curriculum for Eliza, and that if it was a better fit, they were open to Eliza auditing the class instead of taking it for credit. Eliza wasn't concerned with the credit, but just wanted to be included with the general class. The family paid about $700 for Eliza to enroll.

Eliza attended the class with her mother as her personal assistant. Eventually, the decision was made that Eliza should audit the class, and her parents complied. At the end of December, with 13 classes completed and 5 to go, Eliza received a letter from SOU's administration that she was withdrawn from the class because her presence in the classroom supposedly created a disruption to other students. She was no longer welcome to attend classes, effective immediately.

Eliza was angry and hurt. She made contact with one of her classmates, who was very surprised that Eliza had been dropped. Eliza's classmate made contact with their other classmates (19 in total), and deduced that no one from the administration had spoken to anyone in the class about Eliza. Every member of the class signed a petition that Eliza had not been a disruption in class, and asked that she be reinstated to finish out her last five classes. The classmates presented their petition to the Associated Student Body, who passed a resolution in Eliza's support that she be reinstated immediately.

However, despite overwhelming community support, the involvement of State Representatives, and protests by SOU's student body, the administrators at SOU ultimately did not let Eliza finish her ceramics class. The last day of classes has come and gone, and Eliza is devastated. In a letter that she wrote, she says,

"On November 8, I got a letter from Alissa Arp the Dean of the College of Arts and Sciences. She said I can’t be a student at SOU anymore. I was told I couldn’t go back to class. This did not sit well with me. I have projects to finish. I am still frustrated and upset. I do not know why the SOU administration won’t let me be a student. I try my best. I don’t bother anyone. I just do my work. I come to class. I have now missed 3 classes. I am not happy about that."

Those are the facts. More information can be found at www.elizaschaff.com

And now, I have to say that I am ENRAGED at this situation. SOU has always touted itself as being a place of inclusion--as being accommodating to students with disabilities. During my time at SOU, I took many of my law classes with a student who was deaf. She had an assistant who would stand at the front of the classroom and sign during lectures. Was this occasionally distracting? Yes. BUT, there was also no question in my mind that the importance of my classmate's access to education far outweighed any minor distraction that I may have encountered due to her personal assistant's presence in the class.

My classmate? She's often featured on fliers from SOU's alumni association's requests for financial support. She's touted as being a perfect example of how SOU accommodates traditional and non-traditional students alike.

Except when they don't, apparently.

Because the bottom line, from my perspective, is this: Eliza paid to audit a ceramics class. SOU gladly accepted her money, and allowed her to do that. SOU decided that she was a disruption in class, and kicked her out. The fact that she was a disruption is something that every single one of her classmates denies. But even if she were a disruption in class, it seems to me that the appropriate thing to do would have been to allow Eliza to finish her last 5 classes (one to two weeks worth), and then to address her participation in any further classes at THAT point.

Right now, I am ashamed to be a graduate of Southern Oregon University.

I'd like to see Eliza's story more widely circulated, because I just don't think it's okay. I'd like to see more people sign the petition to allow Eliza to return to school (http://elizasou.epetitions.net/) Even though it's no longer an option for her to continue her ceramics class, I think it is important for Eliza to see how many people support her, and feel that the school acted incorrectly.

Setting the Record Straight.

Some of you may have heard of a website/blog called "Birth Or Not". I am not linking to it, because they have ads on their page, and do not deserve the traffic and subsequent funds that will result.

Essentially, the website is a "pregnancy journal". The couple apparently became pregnant after several miscarriages, and is now experiencing a semi-high-risk pregnancy that requires weekly ultrasounds and doctors appointments. But, the couple has a poll up on the side of the blog that essentially says, 'Vote whether we should keep the baby or have an abortion. You have a chance to decide.' The couple often says that the 'votes will not go unheard', and counts down the number of days left that they could legally abort the baby in Minnesota.

Up until recently, when the website was spammed to several pornography related message boards, the vote was overwhelmingly to keep the baby. However, the vote has recently swayed in the opposite direction, to abort.

I have seen a number of bloggers appeal to their readers to go and vote for the couple to keep the baby, which I totally understand. However, you need to know that the website is a hoax by an anti-abortion extremists {I will explain below}. 

First of all, the couple says that their child will be 17 weeks today, putting the date of conception somewhere near the end of July/early August. However, the WHOIS information for the website shows that the domain name for the website was purchased in May. That's some serious foresight right there.

Additionally, the Google Analytics for this site is the same as for "The Church of Global Warming" website, which is a conservative extremist website related to global warming {this one of 1,000 reasons I believe it to be an anti-abortion stunt opposed to a pro-choice stunt}:

 

  screen grabs from Ministry of Truth

It isn't my intent to start an abortion debate here. I have just seen a number of friends and bloggers get genuinely upset about this blog and for this child, and they {and you} deserve to know that it is a hoax. I don't care what your stance is on abortion--stunts like this are wrong. I have no tolerance for crap like this. Please spread the word.

BQOTD- What Would You Do?

So, I grew up with GREAT experiences in the public library. I let my library card lapse when I moved away to college, but got a new one shortly after Lizzy was born. I couldn't WAIT to get Lizzy started with the Babies in the Library program. However, I've had really weird experiences with the library since I got my new card:

-I am SUPER careful with our library books. I typically only check out one or two at a time. Lizzy's books go in a specific basket as soon as we're done with them. When I go to return them, I check them off my list as I put them through the return slot. However, more than once, the library has told me that I haven't returned a book that I most certainly HAVE returned. Usually, I'm able to find the book that I supposedly hadn't returned on the shelves. But that takes some of my time, and usually involves a lot of explaining to whichever volunteer is working.

-On more than one occasion, I have gone to renew a book online, and it confirms that it was renewed. I print out the confirmation. Then several days later, I get a call that I have overdue books. I go in to the library, and they tell me that they have no record of me renewing the book, even though I have the printed confirmation that I have renewed it. Again, we can usually get it resolved, but it just takes unnecessary time.

I've written a letter to the library system, but other than that, I really don't know what to do. I'm dealing with the "you haven't returned this book" situation right now, and it's just irritating to have fines that are totally not my fault. I am tempted to just drop going to the library, but I don't want to do that either! I just have no idea what else to do. Any ideas?

A Funny Thing Happened At The DMV.

Yesterday, I headed to the DMV to renew my driver's license. I was seriously crossing my fingers that I had enough appropriate documents to do so because I still cannot find the folder of our legal documents. Anyway, I arrived, and checked in at the front desk. The front desk then filters you either to the "Take-A-Number" line or the "Express" Line.

The Express Line is about the biggest joke ever, because it is slow as molasses, and almost always out the door of the building, which means that I have to stand by the crazy lady who has been protesting the DMV for the past eight years (no joke) because she failed the vision portion of the driving test, and she feels that the state is taking away her civil liberties and infringing on her personal rights by not letting her drive even though she cannot see. Basically, the Express Lane = Bad.

So, the lady at the front desk tells me that I have to wait in the dreaded express lane, and then also adds, "Cute baby. She looks like a preemie. How early was she born?"

"Oh, she's not a preemie. She's just small."

"No, I'm pretty sure she was a preemie. You must have your dates wrong."

"Nope. If anything she was overdue. She's just small, but she's perfectly healthy."

I then proceeded to the Express Lane, where I waited for the next two hours. Once I got to the DMV representative, she said, "Your baby is so cute! How old is she?"

"Oh thank you, she's almost seven months."

"How much does she weigh?"

"Just twelve pounds two ounces--she's a petite one."

"Oh, my daughter was like that too. We had to do all sorts of tests because having an underweight baby puts them at all sorts of risks for having a genetic disease. Have you done the DNA screen yet?"

"No, her pediatrician isn't really concerned because her dad didn't pass the 15 pound mark until after he was a year old, and she's active and eating well."

"You really need to do the DNA screening. I know it's expensive, but you need to know if she has a genetic disease."

"Thanks for the advice," I responded as calmly as possible.

I sat down to wait for the dreaded photo, stewing a bit at the things people say to new moms about their babies. Then, I saw another new mom approach the desk with a baby in tow. Along the way, a couple people asked her how old her baby was (5 months) and how much he weighs (17 pounds). Their comments to her ranged from "What a chunk!" to "You need to stop feeding him as much" to "I hope he's not this overweight his entire life". I watched the mom smile pleasantly, duck out of each conversation, and roll her eyes.

I felt such solidarity with her! I mean, I don't wish any mom be told that their kiddo is anything less than perfect, but it was nice to hear that it isn't just me....and that if Lizzy were on the opposite end of the weight spectrum, people would say things that are just as ridiculous. Silly comments have just become a part of my world as a mom, and knowing that I'm not alone makes it just a little bit easier to handle!

And now, a message from Lizzy:  nmidfry8i  xe vcnobufkjburmlkffewyi tbxwd yui7

If you aren't a native speaker of Lizzy language, that roughly translates to "I will never blink...or sleep!"

Sears is absolutely unbelievable.

I'm sitting over at my parent's house this morning, and listening to my dad scream at Sears over the phone. After listening to what's going on, I CANNOT BELIEVE this circumstance.

Basically, one of my parent's elderly neighbors recently had a stroke. His refrigerator has also recently stopped working. My dad used to be a technician at Sears, so the neighbor asked if my dad could arrange to have it fixed. Since it's under warranty, that should be a piece of cake, right?

Apparently not. Last Thursday, the technician came out. He wasn't able to fix the problem, and said that he was missing a part to troubleshoot further, and would return today, July 1st to fix the problem.

My dad took the day off work today to be here for the technician. He called to find out what time the technician would be out, and he was told that the call was bumped until July 7th.

So let's review--we have an elderly man who has just had a stroke. He has already been without a refrigerator (which was under warranty) for a week. Now, without any notice, the call was postponed another week. So, two weeks without a refrigerator.

My dad asked for a supervisor, and said that this was unacceptable. No one had called to reschedule, so they needed to be out today. By the time he got to the supervisor, the supervisor said that whoops, the 7th is no longer available. Now, it will be Friday the 16th.

Now, apparently from what I understand, we're up to THREE WEEKS without a refrigerator, which is under warranty. For an elderly man who has just had a stroke.

My dad asked for the supervisor's supervisor. He was given a name, but was told that the supervisor does not have a phone number, or email address. He is apparently accessible by snail mail only (riiiiggghhht).

This is absolutely unbelieveable. And completely unacceptable.

NOTHING makes me more mad that crappy customer service. And this is beyond crappy...it is deplorable.

Surprise ending.

Today, Justin and I decided that we were going to head to the lake. We asked Ryan and Renee if they wanted to come with, and off we went. It was a gorgeous, beautiful day. Beautiful enough to get this girl into a swim suit, and trust me, that's saying something. We got to the lake, and it was perfect weather--warm, but not blazing hot. The lake was full to the brim. All was right with the world.

We splashed around in the lake a bit, letting Lizzy splash the water with her feet. The lake is mountain run-off, so it was a little cold. We elected not to dunk her underwater, even though she's doing AWESOME with that in swim lessons.

After about a half an hour of playing in the water, we were all lounging on blankets. I left Lizzy with Justin, and went to stick my toes in the water. I had just dipped them into the cool sand when a little boy came running over to me yelling, "Liver damage! Out of the water! Liver damage! Come with me!"

I followed him about 45 yards away, to a half sheet of paper attached to a little stick. We had assumed that it was a simple "no camping" or "no littering" sign, like we often see at the lake. But no. It was a sign that read as follows:

TOXIC ALGAE. ABSOLUTELY NO SWIMMING. 
Toxic algae can cause serious injury or death. Children and pets are particularly susceptible.

Crap. I started flipping out almost immediately. I called the number on the sign to make sure that the warning was still valid...because really, who thinks that a little half sheet of paper tacked to a little stick is sufficient signage to warn about death-inducing algae?! If there was really a death-inducing algae bloom, I would expect caution tape, balloons, forest rangers patrolling the shores, or at least full page signs all over the place. Like maybe, I don't know, at the park entrance.

Unfortunately, the warning was current, and the forest ranger kindly told me to watch for vomiting and respiratory distress. Absolutely fantastic. We immediately took wipes to every inch of Lizzy's skin, and packed everyone up to head home and bathe more sufficiently. On the way, I placed a frantic call in to the pediatrician, who told me that because Lizzy was just splashing her legs in the water, she really wasn't concerned--just to give her a good bath. Apparently, the real concern is when you're swimming with your head underwater and potentially ingesting the algae.

Still, I am thanking God for our Angelcare monitor tonight, because I am more than a little rattled about all this.

But more than anything, I'm really, really irritated about the lack of signage at the lake. I know some people look at the little sign and say, 'Eh, whatever.'  But we wouldn't have, had we actually known about the algae ahead of time...I just don't understand how anyone would think that a little half page piece of paper tacked to a stick would be sufficient for making sure that people don't swim in the toxic freaking algae...

Looking like a lady...

I have to get something off my chest. It drove me absolutely nuts.

Yesterday, Lizzy wore a cute little sundress to church. The dress from this post actually. She looked cute as a button. So before church, I was trying to put Lizzy to sleep while gabbing with Justin and my parents. Suddenly, a fellow church-goer (whom I have know for a long time) turned to me, and we had the following conversation:

Church Lady: Meredith, it's so nice to see Elizabeth all dressed up and looking like a girl.
I stare at church lady blankly.
Church Lady: Well you usually have her in all these little gender neutral outfits. It's nice to see her finally looking like a girl.  
My mom's mouth drops open
Me: Actually, she's worn a pink outfit every time we've been to church here.
Church Lady: Well but today she is actually in a dress. She looks very cute and feminine.
Me: Oh.

And then I turned around and went back to talking with my family. It was all I could do not to go on a long diatribe. Because the conversation kind of irritated me. It does just so happen that she has worn pink every Sunday...but even when I don't always dress her in pink (which I don't), it is really not anyone's business.Girls, even little ones, are allowed to wear colors other than pink. And they're allowed to have green car seats (which is something else that I'm often chastised about from both people at church and complete strangers in the grocery store).

It's worth mentioning that nearly every time I've posted a shady or offensive conversation, it has occurred at church, which I think is really sad. Churches are supposed to be places of love and support, not places where we tear each other down. And let's pretend for a moment that I wasn't someone who has attended regularly. Maybe someone that had only attended two, or three times. Do you think that person would ever come back? I know that I wouldn't.
While I was still pregnant, my mom gave me a cartoon from the newspaper. It shows a new mom, struggling with balancing an infant and all of her gear as she's sitting down on a park bench. Next to her, sits a little old lady who is knitting. The little old lady looks over at the mom and says, "Excuse me miss, but do you realize that everything you're doing with that baby is completely wrong?" 

To be honest, I have found that cartoon to read very true, and not just when it comes to little old ladies. I'm often stopped by strangers to tell me that I really should feed my child because she's hungry (no, actually she's tired), or that putting a car seat in the baby section of a shopping cart is extremely dangerous, or that letting her stand on my legs will make her bow-legged, or that using a pacifier increases the risk of SIDS (actually, just the opposite is true), and all sorts of other things that basically say 'You're a bad mom. You don't know what you're doing.'

I know that I'm not a bad mom, but the thing that bothers me MOST about the situation, is that the mom bashing almost always comes from other people who are moms themselves. Occasionally, I'll get a silly comment from someone that doesn't have kids ("How long is she gonna cry like that?"), but those I'm much more apt to forgive. It is honestly the nasty comments from other moms that get me fired up because they've been there. They KNOW what it can be like. And I'm sure they know that there are very few mommas out there who don't do the best they can for their kids--and that's coming from someone who used to work with kids in foster care. 

Sometimes, I just don't understand. Has our society really lost that little filter that causes us to think before we speak?

I wonder....

We hear all this talk lately about how dire the US's financial situation is. Everybody's broke. Everybody's sacrificing "in this economy". America is in debt up to our ears.

So, I found it curious when a few weeks ago, Justin and I both received letters in the mail that it was our civic duty to fill out the census, and that not doing so would be punishable by jail time (in big bold letters).

Aside from making me really NOT want to fill out the census, because I don't like doing things when I'm threatened, I had to stop and wonder--how much did it cost to send these letters out to the majority of US citizens? I mean, between paper, envelopes, printer ink, and paying someone to stuff the envelopes (or supervise the machine that stuffs the envelopes), that's probably a pretty hefty bill.

And I got a little irritated--sure, the census is important, but wouldn't it make more sense to wait and send the letters only to people who haven't returned the census by the deadline? Don't we have more important things that we could be spending that money on?

Even though I was quite perturbed by this letter, we went ahead and filled out the census, and mailed it back.

And can you guess what arrived in our mail box just the other day? A postcard. Saying 'By now, you should have received your census. Don't forget to fill out the 10 questions in 10 minutes, and mail it back. Failure to do so is punishable by jail time!!!!!'

Seriously? Was this really necessary? It seems like a huge waste of time and money to me....

You just gotta laugh....

Foot in Mouth

Do you ever have those moments where you say something, and then realize based on other people's reactions or responses that you must not have phrased what you said very well? And then you try to explain what you were really trying to say, but it's just too late, and people are already worked up about what they heard (which again, wasn't what you were actually trying to say)? Has that ever happened to you?

It happened to me last night--I made a comment during the telethon for Haiti that I clearly must not have phrased well. My intent was to say something to the effect of:

'Haiti needs help, and its good to help Haiti. But New Orleans still needs help too, so as we're talking about Haiti, lets stop talking about the Katrina Relief Effort as something that's finished, because its not-due in part to the poor initial response. And it frustrates me that it feels like a lot of us have forgotten about New Orleans entirely, and that the press's response to Hurricane Katrina was (and is) dismal compared to the press' response to Haiti. It's GOOD that the press' response to the earthquake has been better than their response to New Orleans--but it still frustrates me that New Orleans tends to continue to be overlooked in the media. And I hope that we don't forget about Haiti as quickly as we forgot about New Orleans.' 

But based on the reactions, what the others actually heard was something to the effect of:

'People in New Orleans are more deserving of aid than people in Haiti, and no one should give to Haiti until New Orleans is rebuilt, and all the media attention should currently be on New Orleans, rather than Haiti (even though the earthquake in Haiti was more devastating), because New Orleans is a local disaster, and local disasters are more important than international ones.'

Yeah, that was not at all what I was trying to say. I tried to explain what I really meant, but by that point, there was really no use. The others heard what they had heard, and I don't think all the explanation in the world could have convinced them that that was NOT what I was trying to say--I was called xenophobic, and all sorts of other things. They had already latched on to what they initially heard, and weren't interested in having a dialogue about what I really meant, even though I may have phrased my initial statement poorly [hey, this lack of sleep thing doesn't exactly make me the most articulate person in the world]. 

And that frustrates me, because not only do I feel like I'll personally be viewed negatively, but I feel like I've inadvertently perpetuated negative stereotypes--about Americans, about Christians, heck...even about blondes. Situations like this frustrate me so much...UGH. I still feel badly the next morning, because the others definitely left with the impression that I think NOLA is more deserving than Haiti, which is just not at all what I was trying to say. Ugh.

More Texts From Last Night

Do you guys ever read the Texts From Last Night website? Most of it is pretty raunchy and sad (and probably not work-safe), but sometimes, it is absolutely hilarious:

(443): you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up

(314): I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?

(920): in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish.

(403): I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.

(480): You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone

(760): my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...

(773): I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.

(716): holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
(1-716): How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'

(516): He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.

(345): so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
(574): well at least shes not calling you fat anymore

(978): im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
(1-978): this is your brother

(434): KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.


Remember--today is the last day to Ask Justin Anything!

The Sudafed Trials

First of all, let me preface this post by saying that here in Oregon, pseudophedrine is prescription only, opposed to just being "behind the counter" in a lot of other states. This is due to the extremely high prevalence of methamphetamine abuse--which, have I mentioned, is a nasty, nasty drug.

Now, for quite some time, we've had a four-pronged approach to controlling my allergies, which are extremely severe. Basically, if it moves, grows, or tastes nice, I'm allergic to it. For years, I was almost worthless during several months out of the year because I had such frequent sinus infections and just felt miserable. I wasn't following the "plan", and had seen a holistic doctor. Works for some people, didn't work for me. Anyway, the approach is as follows:
-Daily Zyrtec
-Allergy shots once a month
-Sudafed as needed for congestion (which the number one reason I get those week-long headaches)
-And a nasal spray that I'm supposed to use daily, but don't because it makes me feel MORE congested.

When I got pregnant, one of the first things I did was have my allergist and OBGYN talk to each other and make sure they're on the same page. After they did, my OBGYN told me that I would continue with my regimne as usual. I asked a lot of questions about Sudafed in particular (because I had previously heard that it wasn't safe), and he responded that while there was some risk in taking Sudafed, that in my particular case, the benefits outweigh the risk, and that me not being able to take a clear breath would do as much damage to a baby in utero as the Sudafed would ever do.

So that's all fine and dandy. Until I found myself throwing up all morning (by the way, I'd MUCH rather throw up milk and banana than orange pineapple juice), which then prompted me to look back at what I'd eaten over the past week, along with which days I'd been sick and which days I'd been fine. The one commonality was the Sudafed. Within 30 minutes of taking it, whether at morning or night, I was hugging the porcelain.

I called my doctor, who told me to go talk to the pharmacist, and see if they will do a coated Sudafed or to see what over-the-counter product the pharmacist would recommend for congestion. Apparently Wal-Mart does a coated Sudafed, but Target does not. Then, the pharmacist spent a half-hour berating me for taking Sudafed. I tried to explain that I was under a doctor's care, and that he said the benefits outweighed the risks by far. She really wouldn't let up, and kept talking about how she hoped I wasn't hurting the baby, and how lots of tests had shown deformities. I just kept thinking "when did drug testing by the FDA in utero become legal?"

Sigh. This is what women who take depression/anxiety meds during pregnancy feel like. Even though there's a growing understanding that sometimes it's really necessary, there's still such a backlash against it sometimes.

Anyway, I'm going to at least give Affrin a shot as needed, which the pharmacist was pushing the whole time anyway because it doesn't enter your blood stream.

And now I'm off to go crash, now that I've just taken some Benadryl. Druggie mom. That's me.

Chase Sucks

As former WAMU customers, we're now being transitioned over to Chase. And I have to say, it really sucks. I absolutely hate Chase so far, and I'm seriously considering switching over to a new bank. Here's just *some* of what's happened in the last few weeks.

-I got paid on Friday. I wasn't feeling up to going in and depositing my check. I knew we had some big bills that may have overdrawn our account, but knew that we should be just fine because we had linked our checking to our savings for overdraft protection. I knew that the bills would all be paid from savings, and I'd just go deposit my check into savings today. Only, during the switchover, apparently our account somehow "lost" the overdraft protection. So, I discovered almost $200 in insufficient funds fees today. Of course, they can't do anything about it until Monday since the manager is on vacation. That's splendid.

-Earlier this month, all of our bills that were set on auto-bill-pay came back declined, even though there was plenty of money in the account.

-Our debit cards inexplicably stopped working before we received our new Chase cards. We went in and asked for new cards to be sent ASAP. 14 days later, we still hadn't received them. We went back into the bank, and discovered that the first lady had never actually ordered them. 14 days later, we actually got our new cards.

-Funds deposited by check are no longer available same-day as they were with WAMU, which means now I get to go to the bank that my work writes their checks on, cash my check there, and then take it to Chase to deposit it in cash. Waste. Of. My. Time. Same-day availability was one of the reasons we chose WAMU in the first place.

Seriously. I'm really pissed about the $200 that we now won't have available until Monday. I know $200 isn't a lot to some people, but we actually had that $200 allocated for something we planned to do this weekend for our anniversary, that now we won't be able to do. Thanks, Chase. You're a real winner.

At least you aren't as bad as Wells Fargo, who completely changed my name and social security number on my account without my permission. I have great luck with banks, don't I?

Stupid Cat.

Seriously, my cat can be a real shit sometimes. Do y'all remember the rolling clothing rack that attacked me a few weeks back? Okay, well it's back in action and being used to hang clothes that need to line dry.

Yesterday, I put on one of the shirts from the rack, and I realized that there were little bitty holes all over my shirt. I couldn't figure it out at all, until I saw my little shit of a cat climb up my clothes hanging on the rack, in order to sit on the metal bar that goes across the top.

It isn't that she isn't played with...she is. I genuinely think she just likes to climb stuff. And then jump on people and scare the living daylights out of them when they walk by!

I am tagging this post "Stupid People", but I really mean "Stupid Cat". I am totally not dignifying her bad behavior by giving her a tag of her own!

Silly Girl.

Do you even get into one of those weird irrational places in your head? I have to go out of town overnight on Thursday for work--returning late Friday evening, and I just really don't want to go, and consequently have myself convinced that something terrible is going to happen on the trip. This tends to be par for the course for me anytime one of us is working out of town--I get myself convinced that one of us is going to get seriously hurt or injured, and the other one isn't going to make it to the hospital in time because we're so far away. Granted, this time I'll be less than 3 hours away, but I'll also have 2 other people with me that I would have to abandon.

Seriously, I KNOW it's irrational. I KNOW it doesn't make sense. But it IS how my mind works sometimes.

Plus, I'm kinda pissed that I'll miss the season finale of Bones, and that I won't get paid for our drive time on Friday night!

For reference, the "stupid people" tag associated to this post is totally referencing me!