On Video Killed the Radio Star & Other Things

I kind of wanted to title this post "Instagram killed the Blogging Star", but worried that like Jennifer Lawrence's quip about Meryl Streep at the Golden Globes, the pop culture reference would be lost on many, and then y'all would think I'm too big for my britches.

But really, it has kind of killed my blogging. I'm finding that things I would've blogged about before, like the hilarious story of trying to teach Lizzy how to pedal a bike yesterday....I've already shared on Instagram, at least partially.

And on one hand, I LOVE Instagram. Because it's easier. It always comes with a photo, which I love. And most of all, it's faster. And when your house looks like this...

...and your toddler doesn't nap anymore, and your baby eats every 2 hours, and your husband has worked 6 out of the last 7 days and will work 6 out of the next 7, and you just took your first shower in four days, and you haven't managed to eat your food or drink your coffee while it was still warm in a week, and you haven't even watched Bones (and you KNOW it's bad if I haven't even managed to watch the ballroom dancing episode on my DVR yet)....well, faster is better.

And I love Instagram for that. I love that I'm still able to know what's going on in your lives even if I only have 5 minutes to spare. I love seeing your photos, because photos straight up speak to my soul. Instagram is amazing for that.

But, as the type of person who learns by writing, I also tend to process by writing. I write my prayers in a prayer journal. I still fire off long missives to my college roommates Lisa and Sara on a semi-regular basis, especially if I'm trying to work through something. I crave that writing at times, and I hate not being able to do it on the regular, if only for my own sanity.

I think I quipped to Leah a few weeks ago that with Instagram, it's like texting every day with a friend versus the meeting for a two-hour dinner once every few months that is the blogging world. I'm not sure which is better. Sometimes, the quantity brings about a different type of closeness. Sometimes, it's more important to have that quality. I don't know that one is better than the other--they're just different. And that's okay.

And if you're on Instagram and we haven't connected yet? Let's do. Because in this season? It's about all you're getting ;)

Catching up.

{one} 

We made some serious progress in deep cleaning the house this weekend, which is awesome and amazing, because the next FOUR Saturdays are booked up...which is crazy and surreal. We still have a huge amount to do pre-baby, but getting a good check of the general deep-cleaning out of the way is a huge relief. And it's kind of nice that I could actually invite people over to our house again--it really was so bad, that it was out of the question!

{two}

I have a dermatologist appointment this morning, I think to check on how the place where I had stitches on my stomach is holding up, and also to monitor a mole. Even though I don't think it's going to be a big deal, I have a hard time not getting super anxious any time I have a dermatologist appointment. I freaked most of the night last night about the appointment.

{three} 

I did some housekeeping to the blog over the weekend--I cleaned up the sidebar a bit, and also revamped the pages in the header. Now, you can find all baby and infant related posts itemized in one central location, and also a master list of all book reviews. I'm also trying something new and opening up a limited number of sidebar ads via Passionfruit-- check it out if you're so inclined (and I promise you won't hear much more from me on the subject).

{four}

We went to a wedding over the weekend for a young couple that used to help with childcare for Mom's Group. Justin and I were cracking up because both the father/daughter dance and the mother/son dance were the exact same songs we used for our wedding. I don't think I've heard them at ANY wedding since then, so it was pretty funny to hear both in one wedding. We kept joking that we guessed we were supposed to be remembering our wedding that day ;)

{five}

I get to start Beth Moore's study of James with some of the ladies from Mom's Group this week, and I am so excited. SO. EXCITED. I have absolutely zero doubt that it'll be really good for me to really dig in to the Word in these last few weeks before having a baby...because I don't know about anyone else, but it is so easy for me to fall out of the habit of daily quiet time, and when I do, nothing good comes of it. Also? Totally crazy to think that I most likely won't finish the study with the group because I'll be off having a baby.

{six}

Last night, I had a conversation with Lizzy about dinner that went like this:
Me: Lizzy, would you like a cheeseburger for dinner?
Lizzy: No mom!! I want a hang-a-burger with cheese, please.

If I would have told her that a hang-a-burger with cheese is the same thing as a cheeseburger, it would have resulted in a 37 minute tantrum. Sometimes, it's just easier to call it a hang-a-burger with cheese.

{seven} 

I'm in a book slump. I haven't picked up a book that I was really, really excited about reading in too long. This is compounded by the fact that what I read before bed has recently been directly influencing some absolutely crazy pregnancy dreams, so I'm trying to limit myself to happy, inspirational fluff. But yeah...not excited about anything I've read lately. Any suggestions?

Read Blogs? Then you NEED this.

Okay, so this is not a new thing...I'm fully aware that there are many, many, many people out there who are already using this awesome little goodie from Google, but up until earlier this week, I had no idea it existed. And I consider myself to be someone who is at least moderately up-to-date with techy stuff, so I figured there may be another person or two out there who could also benefit from this quick and easy little tip.

So, I think most people probably use Google Reader to manage the blogs that they read. I know I do, and I have things organized into different categories (i.e. Daily Reads, Photography Inspiration, Faith, Fashion, etc). But sometimes, I'll add a new blog to one of the categories, and then sort of forget who they are. Usually because for whatever reason, my brain doesn't associate the person with the blog name. So, even if they're in my "Daily Reads" folder, I don't always tend to read their updates all that frequently, because when I see their blog name, all I think is 'Who is THAT again? Why are they in here?' And I really don't tend to click through and actually leave a comment. Maybe I'm the only one like this with their Reader, but there you have it.

So, this is where the magic of the Google Next button comes in. Basically, you add the Next button to your bookmark bar. Then, when you're signed into Reader, you click through to one blog from your Reader.

Here, I clicked through to Ashley's blog. Once I've finsihed reading and/or commenting, I click the Next Button (in the yellow box above), and it automatically marks Ashley's blog post as read over in Reader, and then takes me to the next unread blog post in my Reader....which in this case was Samantha's blog. And from there, I can read, comment, or simply click "Next" again to keep going.

The really awesome thing is that you can set up the Next Button to pull from your entire Reader OR from just one of your folders--so in this case, mine is set up to only pull from my "Daily Reads" folder of Google Reader. When I click Next, I'm only getting the blogs in that category.

For me, this whole thing is genius for several reasons: 
(1) I really like seeing people's smiling faces and their blog designs!
(2) I don't miss a blog that I want to read just because I cannot seem to make my brain associate the person with the blog name. Which happens more often than I wish it did.
(3) Commenting is a CINCH.
(4) I'm able to more quickly determine if a blog that I have filed in a particular category in my reader does or doesn't fit where I've filed it. Which is a nice thing for when I go on a blog-adding spree and add 150 blogs to my "Daily Reads" folder...which is maybe a little overambitious for, you know....daily reading. Seeing the actual blog (rather than just the blog name) makes it easier for me to go through and determine which ones I really want to read daily, and which blogs I want to check in on weekly, monthly, or with some other frequency.

Sold yet? It's awesome, I promise. And so simple to install! Here's what you do:

• Log in to Reader. 
• Over on the right-hand side of the page, see the little button with the gear? Click it. And then click "Reader Settings". 
• From there, click the grey tab that says "Goodies". 
• You'll see a bold heading that says "Put Reader in a Bookmark". That's what you want to do--just follow the instructions from there!

Blast from the Past.

Yesterday, I came across this post on BlogHer about a blogger who got sued for using a photo that she didn't own on her blog. Even though she took it down as soon as requested, she still had to pay what sounds like some big bucks. Anyway, she mentioned that you're actually able to be sued, even if you've given a photo credit to the photo's proper owner (which obviously poses major issues with Pinterest, but I kind of feel like burying my head in the sand on that one for now). And that scared the ever living daylights out of me, and I got it through my head that I needed to go through every single 1250+ posts dating back to 2007 on this blog right there and THEN, or else I would surely get sued.

I tend to be black and white to a fault sometimes.

Anyway, I just about wanted to delete everything from 2007 and 2008 because probably 95% of it is complete garbage. But, they still tell the story of who I am now, so I largely refrained...aside from a few posts that just didn't make sense without the photos I was removing and/or could potentially hurt the feelings of others, and shouldn't really have been posted in the first place. I have to admit, going back through the archives was sometimes kind of cringe-worthy for me. There were lots of posts where I was a jerk. But there were also lots of posts where I was me, just as I am today. And? There were also some really hilarious ones, like that time where I got turkey guts in my eye, or when I looked like I'd been severely beaten after a garment rack fell on me.

Or this post, which I felt like perfectly summarized the hilarity and absurdity of being a new parent. 

I also came across this photo of my niece Payton from 2008:

And  I was SHOCKED at how much she looks like Lizzy to me, because I don't always think they look super similar now! I also laughed out loud, because I feel like this is a face my kiddo makes on the regular.

Sometimes it's fun to look back...even if it makes you cringe a little ;)

But anyway....I'm still just starting to get into 2010, and I'm having to remind myself that there *is* some gray area after all. For example, I doubt Old Navy is going to sue me for posting a photo off of their website and saying, "OMG I love this dress from Old Navy and want to buy it immediately!" Maybe I'm wrong, but I'm betting that's not as big of a deal as just pulling random images from Google Images.So, I'm still working on it.

Little Moments

For me, one of the biggest blessings about blogging is that I have the opportunity to meet others who are in a similar stage of life as I am. And because of this, a number of us are starting to enter the two-and-a-half to three year old "wonder years". It's interesting to see and read how different every kiddo is, but I am especially thankful to have gotten to know some other mamas of children who are "strong-willed" or "spirited", because I think they're a bit of a different breed. I have no doubt that as a teenager, I'll probably be thankful that Lizzy is so self-assured, determined, and vocal about what she wants...but right now, in the thick of the weeds, it can just be hard.

I've no doubt that this stage is hard for every parent, but I imagine that it's just hard in different ways for all of us depending on the personality of our kiddo. Which is why if I told some random mom at the park that while I will always love Lizzy no matter what, that lately there are days when I don't actually like her very much, she would probably look at me like I had three heads. Because what kind of mom says that?! But when I tell Leah or Andrea (pst- Andrea...I don't know if you are okay with having your new blog linked, so let me know if you are!), they just get it.

They get what it's like to have a 50 minute, unrelenting temper tantrum at 8pm because your kid wants to run through the sprinkler, right then. To keep putting your screaming, kicking, and hitting kiddo back in a time out for 45 minutes before finally getting them to sit for the prescribed 2-3 minutes. To have your kiddo throw a temper tantrum at a restaurant because someone else is sitting in the chair that THEY want to sit in, and have to leave...and then for them to STILL be screaming mad 45 minutes later by the time you get home. To have a kid who is potty trained, but will pee on the floor on purpose (and then laugh about it) any and every time they are mad about being told to sit in a time out.

There have been days lately where I feel like we did nothing fun. We'd start to play with blocks, and then out of nowhere, Lizzy would throw a wooden block at my head, and thus would start a cycle of discipline that may not end for hours. Literally. There have been days lately, where like a teenager, I was sure that Lizzy could ruin each and every fun activity that I had planned. Sometimes, it's exhausting...and it is easy to focus on the HOURS of so, so hard, rather than the seconds where Lizzy spontaneously says, "I love you always." 

Yesterday morning was not without more than its share of tantrums. But it also had a fun little moment mixed in there, and today, that's the moment that I want to remember. I brought out the camera, and we took silly, imperfect, half-blurry self-portraits on the couch. Lizzy is just beginning to think that it is absolutely hilarious to stick our tongues out for pictures, and after seeing each one, she laughed this long belly laugh that was just absolutely contagious. And I held her close, and tried to be in the moment...forgetting about the laundry or that we were supposed to be in the car to Target already, otherwise we wouldn't make it back before lunch. And we laughed.

Today, I'm trying to remember that sometimes the little moments are as big as the big moments. Really.

Hello Day.

 

 Hello dinner. I've largely missed you these past few weeks. You really hit the spot! 

Hello purple toenails! I can't remember the last time I bought a new fingernail polish, and when I do, I usually stick to the cheapies (I've never had or used Essie or OPI nailpolish in my life, so I don't even know what I'm missing). This time, you didn't let me down Wet N' Wild. I'm digging this pretty lilac-y color, and the huge oversized brush that made painting super fast. 

 Hello grass seed. Grow baby, grow! We planted almost 6,000 sq feet of grass seed in our backyard this past weekend, and now we are watering like crazy and anxiously waiting for it to sprout. I don't know why, but I'm so nervous that it isn't going to grow! I'm so happy we seeded when we did and didn't wait--because if we had waited until after Justin had gotten paid, I think the money we had allocated would have ended up being used for other things. And we've been talking about doing the backyard for four years, so I'm kind of relieved that we didn't have the opportunity to be all sensible and say, "We can hold off another year...we could really use that money elsewhere." It's done already, there's nothing to do about it now, I'm sure things will work out this month, and I'm super excited to use the heck out of the yard this summer. 

Hello perfectly timed encouragement from a blog friend, Megan. This is one of the things that I love so much about blogging. You all are a BLESSING, and such an encouragement to me on so many occasions. 

  Hello OB appointment and ultrasound tomorrow. I'm still super nervous. But today, I noticed for the first time that it's on the same day as the National Day of Prayer, and that kind of made me smile. Lord knows I'll probably be praying up a storm that morning! 

Hello day :) 

Thursday Thoughts

{one} 

Can I ask a favor of y'all? There are so many of you who have left comments over the past couple of weeks that I've wanted to respond to, but many of you haven't had email addresses associated with your accounts, and it just makes it much harder to get back to you! It's really easy to add an email to your account--in blogger, from your dashboard click on "edit profile", and then add an email address to your profile! With so many free options for email, you could even create a separate email just for your blog :)

{two}

I am so happy about the Top Chef finale. I don't want to spoil it in case there's anybody who hasn't watched it yet, but I really thought the other person was going to win and it was making me nervous! I'm glad the one I was rooting for pulled it through!

{three}

Thank you guys for the thoughts and prayers about my dad in the hospital, he went home last week, and then had been back in again since Monday of this week, but got to go home yesterday! Hopefully he's recovering well and can say out of that place!

{four} 

I'm thinking about re-instating "Photography Fridays" on the blog, which I haven't done in awhile, but in the past has included the 12 Weeks to Better Photography course. That particular course isn't available any more, but I think there are others we could do, or that I could come up with something. I'm just jonesing for more photography and need an excuse! What I'd like to know is if you're interested in participating, what sort of tutorials would YOU like to see--very basic, beginner, more advanced, etc?

{five}

Lizzy had been doing pretty great with potty training. And then all of a sudden, I'd tell her that it was time to sit on the toilet and she'd start to scream, "NOOOOOOOO!!!!! I too BIG!" (I think she actually means she's too little). I've been trying not to push it because I know she'll do it when she's ready and blah blah blah. But seriously, I'M READY.

{six}

I have Mom's Group this morning, and I *really* should shower, but I just don't want to. Most people at this particular Mom's Group usually come pretty dressed up, but I think that I may end up going in a sweatshirt and yoga pants today. Oh well. I'm feeling lazy. Plus, if I go out dressed ready to work out, I may actually be more likely to do Jillian's Yoga Meltdown later today like I'm supposed to, you
know?

Funk.

I'm going through that blogging funk that we all go through at some time or another--you know, where you want to write something interesting, and profound, and real, but all you can seem to come up with are a bunch of snippets, book reviews, and funny stories that sort of capture what you're thinking, but not really.

I'm pretty certain that it may be directly related to the fact that I haven't actually used my camera for the love of it in several weeks. I know it's not true, but around this time of year, I always feel like there is nothing to take pictures of--no fall leaves, no flowers yet, often no sun. I'm sure the beauty is still there...I just may need to make a concerted effort to find it.

I have several half-posts floating around in my head. I want to show you our new blue walls (which I LOVE), but I don't have any photos yet, and the living room isn't quite how I'd like it yet...and I'm still holding out hope that it may get there eventually. We'll see.

I want to talk about baptism, because I feel like this is something that I'm constantly being asked to debate--both online and in real life. People want to know why Lizzy was baptized and not dedicated. They want to know whether I was dunked or sprinkled. They want to debate about whether one baptism is enough or whether if you really mess up, whether I think you might need another. I've wanted to post about this, but honestly, I get frustrated with these debates...I feel like sometimes we forget that it's God doing the work in baptism and not us. 

I want to blog about how I'm still feeling a little nervous, excited, worried, conflicted, thrilled, and 1,000 other emotions about some of the things Justin and I have been talking about lately in terms of this next year and what it will bring for us...but I'm not totally sure how to put it all into words.

I want to talk about budgeting, and how well it's working for us right now, but I'm not sure what I can really say when I still have the very strong urge to RUN to JC Penney and their new 40% lower prices and shop with abandon...while putting it all on my credit card.

Aaaaaannnndddd...I have no idea how to wrap up this particular post, so I'll just leave it as it is, and ask for your patience as I wade through the funk :)

BQOTD: Five Easy Questions + De-Lurk

Today's Burning Question(s) of the Day:

1. What was the last thing you read?
2. What was the last thing you ate?
3. What time did you go to bed last night?
4. If you had $100 that you had to spend today, not put towards debt or savings, what would you buy?
5.What's one major thing you hope to accomplish in the next year?

Whether you're a frequent commenter, or have never commented before, I'd love to hear from you!

Messy Mom Monday, Week 2

I'm back for another edition of Messy Mom Monday...and my house is still messier than I'd like, which I think will probably sufficiently describe it for the next 16+ years. Anyway, today I thought I'd focus not so much on the actual messiness of our house, but another way that moms can be a little bit messy--emotionally and/or mentally:

1) J and I drove over to the city where my parents live on Saturday because I had a photo shoot of a banquet scheduled. So, I got all my stuff together, dragged out a pair of slacks that sort-of fit, and had Justin drop me off....only to realize that the banquet is next Saturday. All our communication clearly states the 28th, but for some reason, I had it in my head that it was the 21st. So that was awkward, showing up to the venue and talking to the front desk person, who clearly thought I was a dumb blonde idiot. And I felt like an idiot. I don't know what I was thinking, but I'm just SO GLAD that I was a week early instead of a week late. Still, at least we got to eat dinner and visit with my fam!

2) I'm still a little bit of a mess regarding the whole mystery bruise experience. Even though they clearly told me that they successfully removed all the skin cancer, any time I have a stomach ache, or get a bruise, or notice that a softball scar I've had since middle school has a bit of a purple-ish tint to it, I still have a hard time not thinking that it's cancer and that I'm going to die. I know it doesn't make sense, but it's just kind of weird and hard to go from months and months of worrying and being terrified, to one day being fine and not having to think about it anymore.

3) I've disabled anonymous comments on this blog. I had been allowing them because my parents, Justin, and a few other real-life friends who don't have blogs of their own comment every once in awhile, and I like hearing from them. However, after I was left a mean and snarky anonymous comment on my last post about Lizzy, I realized that the vast majority of anonymous comments I receive are either spam, or some sort of snarky/mean comment. All my friends and family should still be able to comment through Open ID, so I just see no reason for allowing the anonymous comments any more. ETA--The Open ID thing is a bit trickier than I thought, so I've just decided to enable comment moderation instead, for the time being. We'll see how that goes!

I wish I could say that the mean or negative comments are easy for me to brush off, but they aren't always, even though the support from my husband and others who know us in real life should easily trump one nasty comment. I KNOW it wasn't that big of a deal, but it still hurts a little.. It makes me sad, because I pride myself on being honest here, sharing the good and bad, the messy and otherwise.

It also makes me sad that as far as I can tell from the stats (because even when you post anonymously, it isn't completely anonymous), this wasn't a troll--this was someone who reads and visits fairly regularly. It makes me sad that that person, didn't just sign in and comment something like, 'Hey, when you tell stories about Lizzy talking, do you translate or paraphrase what she's saying? It sounds like she's saying a lot more than most 2 year old kids I know,'...because that's a question I'd be happy to answer.

You don't have to be nice to me, though it does hurt my feelings when you're not. You don't have to agree with me, or with everything that I write. But the messy truth is that I think that if you can't even stand behind the negative remarks you make, you probably already know that you're in the wrong. I really try avoid stooping to the level of the mean comments, but the messy truth is that in my opinion, if you resort to being an anonymous snark, that makes you a sucky person. Or maybe just someone who has some emotional messes yourself. I don't know. But, I do know that I'm willing to admit that I just don't want to deal with the anonymous snark anymore, so I'm not going to.

Thanks for letting me be real--messiness and all :) Have some messes of your own? Link up at Living in the Moment or Dude and Sweets!

{More evidence that I'm a mess mentally sometimes? I definitely just wrote "Licking in the Moment" Heh.}

My Top 5 Commercial Use Fonts

Here's a random question for you--if you've designed your own header, blog buttons, etc, do you have a commercial license to use any and all fonts involved? What about fonts used for free digital downloads or in your own Etsy shop?

Are you scratching your head right now?

If you're unfamiliar with how font licensing works, here's how it goes in a nutshell:
All fonts, digital scrapbook paper, stock photos, Photoshop actions (and much more) are typically licensed either for personal or commercial use. If they're licensed for personal use, you're being told that you can use them for exactly that--your own personal use. Not in your etsy shop. Not in blog designs for other people. Often times, the licensing agreement will say that the font/action/digital scrapbook paper/stock photo cannot be used for ANY commercial purpose, including free digital downloads, fliers for events and/or blog buttons.

In order to use any of these items for advertising purposes and especially for any circumstance that may earn you income, you generally need to make sure that you have a commercial license for using these items.


Yikes right? I don't know about you, but any number of my older blog layouts had fonts from here, there, and everywhere...and I didn't really have any idea whether I was legally allowed to use them or not (or even that it was an issue). However, over the past year I've been trying really hard to make sure that everything I use on this blog is legal (and ethical) for me to use. So, in looking at which fonts to transfer over from my old laptop to my new one, I realized that since I often didn't know whether a font was available for commercial use or not, I needed to start fresh, with only fonts that were free for commercial use.

Enter Font Squirrel (who I heard about from the wonderful John & Sherry at Young House Love awhile ago). I have no affiliation with Font Squirrel at all...other than the fact that I use them all the time now because they offer a HUGE selection of fonts that are all 100% free for commercial use.

Here are my Top 5 Favorite Font Squirrel fonts of the moment: 

Seriously guys....if you don't use fonts with a commercial license already, think about it! Sure, you probably won't get caught for using a font without a commercial license in your blog header, but it's just good practice, and one less thing to think about or worry about down the line!

BQOTD- How Do You Want to Be Portrayed? | Fall '11 Blog Bible Study Week 8

Honestly, I'm having a hard time doing this study of Paul right now. Shortly after beginning this study, some of the moms at Mom's Group began doing Sheila Walsh's The Shelter of God's Promises (which is great, by the way!), and I joined them. It quickly became overwhelming for me to try and do the homework for both every day, but I tried to keep up with it. Often, this meant doing three or four days worth of devotionals on Friday morning and then trying to throw together a post. And those posts? Not the highest in terms of comments. I wish I could say that I didn't care in the slightest about the number of comments that I receive on posts, but the honest-to-goodness truth is that sometimes I do. I try not to. When I first decided to start this series, I prayed that I wouldn't, because it's not supposed to be about me. But sometimes I do care. This wasn't meant to be a pity party, but just to tell you that I'm human, and I struggle with this stuff sometimes, just like we all do. I'm sure that in a few months, I'll look back and see a lesson in all of this, but I'm just not there quite yet, ha!

Anyway, I picked up the Paul book this afternoon and flipped it open to where I thought I was supposed to be had I been keeping up like I was supposed to. I landed on Day 50, where Beth Moore asked the question, "What might be some parting words or themes you'd like to leave behind on those who follow you? What are the most important warnings and encouragements to pass on?"

She wasn't talking about blogging specifically, but I think it kind of relates, no? Which brings me to my Burning Question of the Day:

For those of you who blog, how do you hope that you're portraying yourself to your blog readers? Have you thought about it? Do you intentionally try to strive for something specific?

Personally, I hope that I'm portraying just what the "About Me" section on the sidebar says. I hope that I come across as someone who loves her husband, her daughter, and her family. As someone who is a mom, but more than that too. As someone who is passionate about photography, and loves spending Thursday nights curled up on the couch watching Bones. As someone who has recently re-prioritized faith in her life, and wants to learn and grow in that way. As someone who is real about her struggles (and definitely isn't perfect!), but doesn't complain too much...someone who can find the blessings and the hope. I know I don't get it right all the time, but I hope I do more often than not...


What about you?

Feminism. WOHM. SAHM. Oh my!

I was going to wait until tomorrow morning to post this, but it's been on my mind all day, and I just can't. This morning, I posted what I thought was a completely innocuous post. I was pretty surprised to receive the following comment:

I responded as neutrally as I could in the comments section of that post, because I think that a lot of it was just simply misdirected (i.e. that I do all the housework or that I order and prioritize my status as a wife and mother) but I've been thinking about it  all day, and I have more to say. I apologize in advance if this is a bit of a ramble, but I hope y'all will take just a few minutes to read it--it's from the heart.

...............................................................................................

Linda Hirshman wrote a book in 2006 called Get to Work: A Manifesto for Women of the World that is essentially summed up by the comment from "Concerned Feminist" above--that women who choose to stay at home rather than work are making equality more difficult for everyone else. Hirshman has also said that she doesn't buy into anecdotes from stay-at-home mothers and homemakers that it's the most fulfilling thing they could imagine doing, saying, "I would like to see a description of their daily lives that substantiates that position...One of the things I've done working on my book is to read a lot of the diaries online, and their description of their lives does not sound particularly interesting or fulfilling for a complicated person, for a complicated, educated person." 

Now, I disagree with Hirshman for a plethora of reasons, the least of which being the air of entitlement and class-ism that she seems to espouse (i.e. those of us with educations shouldn't stay at home, but it's okay for us to pay the poor uneducated people to raise our children, because those people aren't very important or smart anyway), but this is nothing new--we all hear similar (albeit less judgmental) sentiments from both sides of the coin often, don't we? Stay-at-home moms tell their mom friends who work outside the home, "I just couldn't imagine letting anyone else raise my children." On the other hand, moms who work outside the home tell their stay-at-home mom friends, "I just don't know what you do with yourself all day while your son is at school! I'd be so bored!" 

Right? 

I get that we've already made the decision that we think is best for our family, and so it's hard to imagine doing anything to the contrary. But as in anything, there is no universal best--there's no "best" pair of jeans, no "best" meal, no "best" way to parent, no "best" decision in terms of staying home or continuing to work--there's only the right decision for us and for our families. What works for me might not work for you, but that doesn't mean that what I've chosen is wrong either. 

I've been blogging since 2004, and during that time, I've had the privilege of getting to know some incredible and amazing men and women online. 

I've gotten to know Molly, who has two beautiful boys and works out of the home full time. Guess what? She's doing the right thing, and she's a great mom. 

I've gotten to know Leah, who also has two beautiful boys, and works out of the home right now in order that she'll be able to stay at home with her boys in the long-term. Guess what? She's doing the right thing, and she's a great mom. 

I've gotten to know Emily, who has one little guy, and works part-time. Guess what? She's doing the right thing, and she's a great mom. 

I've gotten to know Katie, who has a sweet little girl, and works part-time(?) from home. Guess what? She's doing the right thing, and she's a great mom. 

And then there's me, who has a degree, used to work full-time, and now I'm staying home with Lizzy, and doing photography on the side. Guess what? I'm doing the right thing, and I'm a great mom too. 

We're all doing the right thing, because we're all making the best decisions that we can for our families with the resources we have available to work with. I know, it sounds corny, but it's true. Whether we work full-time, part-time, out-of-the-home, in the home, or even consider staying-at-home work at all, we're doing what we think is right for our families, right now. Period. That's the best any of us can do.

Let's knock off pretending like we know how to best run each others lives, and focus on running our own, eh?

Best & Worst Of La Buena Vida | 7 Links Meme

I was recently tagged in a post by Leah about the 7 Links Meme--once I read what it was about, I loved it. See, as a photographer, I've noticed that my personal favorites from a session are often different than the client's favorites. I'm sure this is true for bloggers as well--that some of our favorite posts, the ones that we are most proud of, aren't always necessarily the ones that are most popular. Sometimes, they just get lost in the shuffle. The 7 Links Meme is an opportunity for bloggers to say, 'Hey, this is what's most important to ME. This is what I'm really all about.' I'm excited to give you a little sneak peek into my secret thoughts about this blog, and I can't wait to hear more about what some of YOU think as well!

What this is about:
To unite bloggers (from all sectors) in a joint endeavor to share lessons learned and create a bank of long but not forgotten blog posts that deserve to see the light of day again.

Rules:
1) Blogger is nominated to take part
2) Blogger publishes his/her 7 links on his/her blog – 1 link for each category.
- Your most beautiful post
– Your most popular post
– Your most controversial post
– Your most helpful post
– A post whose success surprised you
– A post you feel didn’t get the attention it deserved
– The post that you are most proud of

3) Blogger nominates up to 5 more bloggers to take part.
4) These bloggers publish their 7 links and nominate another 5 more bloggers
5) And so it goes on!
6) The site Trip Base be sharing the best posts from participating bloggers on their blog and everyday on Facebook and Twitter at #My7Links 

#1-Most Beautiful Post: {Blessed}

Although there are many posts that could have fallen into this category (such as this post written just two hours after Lizzy was born), this particular post about Justin's anniversary date night surprise immediately popped into mind. It was just so needed, and I am still so thankful for it.

#2-Most Popular Post: To this day, I still often receive emails about {Lizzy's Nursey Reveal} Post.

Although her room doesn't look quite like this anymore (furniture has been rearranged since she was using the curtains to climb out of her crib), it is still one of my favorite rooms in the house. I can't help but smile every time I walk in. I'm so blessed to have such amazing family and friends who helped me bring this to life!

#3-Most Controversial Post: {Let's Talk About Adoption}
I have a hard time with this one, because I know it hurt some feelings. It wasn't my intent to bash foster/adoptive parents--you all do a wonderful job, and I apologize if you felt that my post was unkind. That truly wasn't my intent--the heart of this post was simply to attempt to provide another point of view that I don't see often in blog-land, which is that I understand completely why DHS/CPS puts such an emphasis on placement with family over non-relative placement/adoption.

#4- Most Helpful Post: {Lens Flare/Backlit Tutorial}

Not one of my more popular posts, but I think it's one of the more thorough of all the tutorials I've done. Hopefully it's helpful!

#4-Post Whose Success Surprised Me: {Before I Chicken Out}
I don't think I've ever had as many comments on a post as I did when I posted 30-Day Progress photos from doing Insanity. I've been meaning to take some updated photos, but I feel like the progress kind of pales in comparison!

#5- Post That Didn't Get The Attention It Deserved: {The Power of the Cross}

I was REALLY excited about the idea of doing our own blog-land version of Cardboard Testimonials for Good Friday this past year, and thought that it would be really well received both in terms of participants and in terms of comments. I was a little bummed that more of my blog friends didn't participate this year, but that's okay! There's always next year, right ;)

#7- Post That You're Most Proud Of: {Thinking About Christmas}
I still stand by everything that I wrote here. Also, it's not every day that the author of Lord, Save Us From Your Followers comments on one of your blog posts!

I'd love to see the 7 Memes posts from:

A Day In Mollywood
My Crazy, Unpredictable Life
Girl Meets Life
The Domestic Wanabe
Imperfect

Five Minute Friday: New

It's been awhile since I've participated in Five Minute Friday at The Gypsy Mama, but I'm back at it again today...it was needed. If you're unfamiliar with Five Minute Friday, it's simple as this--every Friday morning, she posts a prompt, and you write for five minutes, without worrying about forming completely coherent thoughts, without worrying about typos, or whether what you're writing is perfect...you just write.

Yesterday, I came across a simple desk at the store for $30. I haven't really had a desk since college, at least, and I've mentioned in the past that I just couldn't think of a good layout that included a desk in our living room, but on a whim, I bought the desk, figuring that I'd find a way to make it work.

The living room arrangement isn't my favorite that we've ever had, but it is probably more functional in the long-run...and I do like having a desk. A new home for my laptop, my to-do list, and a few pens...maybe even a printer in the future! It's nice having everything in one spot--and since it isn't as easy just to pull the laptop onto my lap while we're lounging around or watching TV, I hope that maybe I'll be more intentional with my time on the computer too.

Perhaps this new desk will bring about some much needed changes in our life too--more time intentionally spent playing with sweet Lizzy girl throughout the day. More time spent wholly in the moment with my sweet husband at night, rather than  half listening to him and half browsing blogs. Here's hoping...hoping for something new.

Snippets + De-Lurk

-I'm kind of on a book roll. I started and finished Little Bee over the weekend, which was horrific and hard to read but also beautiful. I'll have a whole review post up sometime soon (do you guys like the book reviews?). I have a stack of library books to go through as well, and I'm hoping that I'll enjoy them as much as some of my recent reads.

-I am so wishing that the weather would warm up! I've been holding off planting our tomato plants because there's still the danger of frost. I'm definitely ready to get them in the ground! Also, everything that *is* planted already isn't doing so well--it's getting seriously wind-burnt!

-Lizzy gets up almost every single day at 6:30am on the dot. It doesn't matter what time she goes to bed, she's up by 6:30am. Except this morning...when she's apparently sleeping in. However, my body is so used to getting up at 6:30am now that I absolutely CANNOT make myself fall back asleep! How I wish I could!

-I don't know what's up with me lately, but I am seriously craving cheese. All the time. Cheddar, Gorgonzola, Blue cheese, Gouda, Havarti. Man, I love cheese. Too bad it doesn't seem to love me as much! And no, just to clear things up, I'm not pregnant, and this is not a pregnancy craving. I just like cheese.

-Our softball team is doing awesome this year! So far, we're 3-1, and the only game we've lost was a close one. The rest of the games have been called after 4 innings because we're ahead by more than 15 runs. I like to play no matter what--even last year when we only won 1 game the whole season, but there is just something really fun about when the teams wheels are clicking and everything works like it is supposed to!

-After my last post, I just wanted to clarify something--a LOT of foster parents are amazing. It wasn't my intent to convey that kids should automatically be placed with relatives because relatives won't give them back and foster parents will. I hope the last post didn't come off that way, and I apologize if it did. I was just (a) fired up that yet another set of kids had been given back after being adopted, and (b) sometimes I do think that some foster parents get really upset when child welfare initiates a relative search--almost like it's a personal insult. But really, it's a step that child welfare takes with the hopes of protecting the child. In my opinion, based on my experience, it's a good step in the process. However, it CAN also be frustrating that the "system" doesn't allow much wiggle room for looking at things on a case-by-case basis! As with anything else, there are no universals...

-Lastly, I've noticed that there are quite a few new readers/followers lately--thanks for stopping by! I'd love it if everyone, new and old, would take a few minutes to "de-lurk". In the comments, please tell me and everyone else:

1. Your name
2.One interesting fact about yourself
3. If you have a blog, tell us what it's about in 10 words or less
4. And give us your blog's url

Hope you all have a fantastic Monday!

You Know You Want To...

This is the type of post that people either love or hate. But it's my blog, and I love this type of post, SO THERE. I hope that even if you don't love these posts as much as I do, that you'll play along.

Seriously though, I've noticed some new readers/commenters around these parts lately, and so I thought a little Q & A would be fun.

Yep, this is one of those infamous "Ask Me Anything" posts. Or ask Justin--he secretly loves to answer questions from you guys! But seriously, please just ask us things--about recipes, books, how we met, Insanity, parenting, photography, whatever!

Blogging About Blogging

Hey faithful blog readers, could I share something that might make all our lives easier? See, once or twice a day, I get a question left as a comment.

Hey, what camera do you have?
Where did you get that onesie?
How did you do the wall art in Lizzy's nursery?
We're going to be in Oregon this winter--want to meet up?

And usually, I'm more than happy to answer the question. However, when I click reply on the comment notification email, I see that many of you don't have an email address visible from your blogger profile. All I see is the dreaded noreply@blogger.com listed.

Sometimes, I can track you down by going over to your own blog, but sometimes the things I have to say are a bit more personal than I'd like the whole world to see. And you would be AMAZED how many people without blogs leave questions in the comments for me. Plus, it's easier, and I can respond from my phone, which means you wouldn't have to wait a week for a simple reply!

See, good for you, good for me. And it's easy:

Go to your dashboard.
Click on Edit Profile (next to your picture).
Add an email address.
Click the check mark to make it visible.

{PS, thanks to Katie for these instructions from her post a few months ago about this very topic}

Please keep in mind that you do NOT need to attach the email that you log on to your blogger account with. For example, I log on to blogger with an email like firstname.lastname@gmail.com. I also have an email address specifically for this blog {labuenavidablog@gmail.com}, since J and I like to do our best to keep our last name private. I can add the email address specifically for the blog, and make it visible. People can respond to me via THAT email address, and I can still log on to blogger with my old email address and keep my last name hidden, but still have access to my reader.

Really, it takes like half a minute. Pretty please?