Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Little Moments

For me, one of the biggest blessings about blogging is that I have the opportunity to meet others who are in a similar stage of life as I am. And because of this, a number of us are starting to enter the two-and-a-half to three year old "wonder years". It's interesting to see and read how different every kiddo is, but I am especially thankful to have gotten to know some other mamas of children who are "strong-willed" or "spirited", because I think they're a bit of a different breed. I have no doubt that as a teenager, I'll probably be thankful that Lizzy is so self-assured, determined, and vocal about what she wants...but right now, in the thick of the weeds, it can just be hard.

I've no doubt that this stage is hard for every parent, but I imagine that it's just hard in different ways for all of us depending on the personality of our kiddo. Which is why if I told some random mom at the park that while I will always love Lizzy no matter what, that lately there are days when I don't actually like her very much, she would probably look at me like I had three heads. Because what kind of mom says that?! But when I tell Leah or Andrea (pst- Andrea...I don't know if you are okay with having your new blog linked, so let me know if you are!), they just get it.

They get what it's like to have a 50 minute, unrelenting temper tantrum at 8pm because your kid wants to run through the sprinkler, right then. To keep putting your screaming, kicking, and hitting kiddo back in a time out for 45 minutes before finally getting them to sit for the prescribed 2-3 minutes. To have your kiddo throw a temper tantrum at a restaurant because someone else is sitting in the chair that THEY want to sit in, and have to leave...and then for them to STILL be screaming mad 45 minutes later by the time you get home. To have a kid who is potty trained, but will pee on the floor on purpose (and then laugh about it) any and every time they are mad about being told to sit in a time out.

There have been days lately where I feel like we did nothing fun. We'd start to play with blocks, and then out of nowhere, Lizzy would throw a wooden block at my head, and thus would start a cycle of discipline that may not end for hours. Literally. There have been days lately, where like a teenager, I was sure that Lizzy could ruin each and every fun activity that I had planned. Sometimes, it's exhausting...and it is easy to focus on the HOURS of so, so hard, rather than the seconds where Lizzy spontaneously says, "I love you always." 

Yesterday morning was not without more than its share of tantrums. But it also had a fun little moment mixed in there, and today, that's the moment that I want to remember. I brought out the camera, and we took silly, imperfect, half-blurry self-portraits on the couch. Lizzy is just beginning to think that it is absolutely hilarious to stick our tongues out for pictures, and after seeing each one, she laughed this long belly laugh that was just absolutely contagious. And I held her close, and tried to be in the moment...forgetting about the laundry or that we were supposed to be in the car to Target already, otherwise we wouldn't make it back before lunch. And we laughed.






Today, I'm trying to remember that sometimes the little moments are as big as the big moments. Really.


  1. (her hair looks adorable the way it's knotted back!)
    love love love the little moments like this.

  2. OH Mere. You do have a tough one. My God-daughter, alas, is the SAME WAY. She tests us CONSTANTLY. I seem to think it's the 'bi-polar' two-three syndrome. We'll put her in time-out and she'll cry and cry and scream, jump up and down in the chair, until she throws up (or stick her finger in her throat to make herself throw up). One day, she was looking for her play-cellphone...and her mother told her she didn't know where it was. Izzy proceeded to tell her to "Find it, you shit." Where she got that, we do not know!? They test you, and test you, and test you....And I think they WANT YOU to break sometimes.

    But then. They're the sweetest things other times. Hang in there... :)

  3. I totally get it. And Annie is nowhere near as... willful, shall we say, as Lizzy. She could get that way, but for now, at least her tantrums are pretty shortlived, even if they do happen about every 5 minutes.

  4. Great, honest post. I like to think my little guy is pretty good, but in the moments of temper tantrums and non. stop. whining I wonder what the heck am I doing wrong?!! Jackson likes to get up at the crack of dawn, between 5 and 5:30. I am not a great sleeper at night and so every day I wake up unbelievably tired and crabby. I try so hard to like my kid when he is running around acting crazy and throwing toys at my head, but honestly, it is HARD. Like you, though, I have been trying very hard to savor those sweet moments and to constantly remind myself that he is only 2. My mom told me something the other day when I was venting to her about how horrible he was behaving. She said "April, God isn't done with him yet. He is still little and learning his way." It hit me then that children are growing and developing their personalities, so I have to try my hardest to be patient. It really is a struggle some days but it's so nice to hear other mommas stories so we know we are all going through similar struggles!!

  5. When you have "spirited" and " strong-willed" children who know what they want and when they want it, it makes for some hair-pulling days.
    Both my kids are very dramatic, loud, crazy, and wild. I am "that" mom all the time with the kids being nuts and getting the looks from other moms with their "well-behaved" children. Thankfully my son is a dream student at school and we've had not one complaint. He must save it for me. Our daughter loves tantrums also and will throw herself down and try to hit us. She is very familiar with time out.

    I get it. I love you but I don't like you right now. Have said this often and if you said it to me. I would nod my head right along with you. Thankfully this wild children also fiercely love you and do things to make us laugh:)

  6. I adore your honesty. It's so good to know other mamas out there are going through the EXACT same thing. I can totally relate to the loving but not liking mentality :( It's hard being a parent to a strong willed child. They push us to places emotionally and mentally we never thought we'd be!

    [And my child is throwing a temper tantrum RIGHT NOW downstairs.....]

    Feel free to link me! No worries :)

    We'll survive mama. Just keep reminding yourself that our babies will be the leaders one day.

  7. It is the little moments in-between being kicked, headbutted (Eva's new thing) and screamed at that make all the difference. The only thing I have going for me is that she doesn't have the ability to focus on one thing for 45 minutes. She just screams about a toy for 10, her book didn't open to the right page for 10, then hides and screams about a diaper change for 15 more. Then fights in time out in between.

  8. I totally understand. I definitely don't have any advice since I'm in the trench with ya, but know that I am here if you ever want to vent! Just be prepared that I'll most likely chime right in with you :)

  9. For the record I'm in tears reading this right now, because we are starting to go through a lot of the same things. And it is seeming so hard. The blog post currently in my drafts is titled "i need tequila." I'm sure you can understand where that is going. But it is oh so true, I will never ever stop loving her. And I really need to celebrate and enjoy those moments when she is the most perfect sweetest little girl I know.

    Thanks for sharing this today.

  10. Oh Mere, this post had me all teary. I absolutely understand. And at it's core, I understand how treasured these pictures are. They'll cover a multitude of sins. I will say, if you haven't check out Love and Logic, I'm definitely liking it. We can't break their will. It's not how God wants them. That's ultimately what I try to remember.

  11. Yep. Yep. Yep.

    Sounds all familiar. Brady's been spirited since he came out of the womb. I used to laugh because when he was about 8 months old, I realized his name literally meant SPIRITED. I about kicked myself, lol.

    We had a few weeks when i felt like we had NOTHING but bad days and it just broke my heart because I feel like I miss out on so much as it is but the past week, things have gotten better and it goes in spurts. I'm afraid of the 3 year old Brady that I hear gets way worse. I'm jut glad that b2 will be out by then so i can have lots of wine :)

    So, yes, we celebrate those good moments when we get them for sure!!!

  12. Love this post---enjoy those little moments!

  13. You definitely have to hold onto those sweet moments or you forget why you do this whole mothering gig! She's such a cutie - you two look so much alike!

  14. Such a nice post to read. My 3 year old has been nick named honey badger by my family. NOTHING gets her down and at 3 I have been to the er with more than my 16yo and 6yo combined. But man can she melt my heart and make my blood boil all in the matter of minutes. And sometimes it makes me feel guilty. So it is nice to hear other struggle with the same things. Thanks for sharing!


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