Pregnancy #2: One Month Postpartum

 

 Compared to one-month postpartum with Lizzy: 

It's 8pm as I'm writing this. Justin is still at work, and I just put Lizzy to bed with much drama due to her refusing to eat the chicken noodle soup that she requested for dinner. Becca is currently sleeping in her bouncer, and other than while driving, it's the first time I've not been holding someone all day. I'd guess I probably have 10 minutes before Lizzy either tries to sneak out of her bedroom or Becca is ready to nurse again...and that basically sums up the first month postpartum! Ha!

Seriously though, here's the scoop for real:
-I have about 7-10 pounds to lose in order to be back at the pre-pregnancy weight from this time around. I definitely feel that extra in my hips and belly, but not as much as I did with Lizzy. Of course, as most moms will tell you, even if you lose all the pregnancy weight right away, that still doesn't mean that your pre-pregnancy jeans are going to fit! I'm currently about one pants size larger than I was pre-pregnancy, which is a happy treat--although you can't really tell in the two photos, my hips were SIGNIFICANTLY wider after Lizzy, and at that time I was wearing jeans that were two sizes larger than I'm wearing now (three sizes larger than pre-pregnancy, in total). Still, I'm looking forward to being able to wear my "normal" clothes again, and hope that happens sooner rather than later!

-I'm getting a little antsy to start working out, and am looking forward to starting Insanity with Justin at the end of this month or beginning of next. I'm also hoping to be getting a little more sleep than I'm getting now by then though, or I will die.

-Just like with Lizzy, I think I have an overactive letdown--Rebecca often pulls off the boob choking and coughing. But unlike Lizzy, she actually seems to like to eat, and rarely will even go 3 hours between feeding sessions. For at least a couple of weeks there, she was seriously nursing like 20 hours a day (which I think probably had to do with the staph infection). Breastfeeding still hurts a bit as she latches on, but the pain goes away once I feel the letdown. Becca seems to chomp down at the beginning to control the flow, and I'm sure that doesn't help. Also? I don't really remember feeling engorged with Lizzy, but man alive do I feel it this time around! I think you could probably set a clock by my boobs :)

-For the first three weeks, I was super emotional...especially once it started to get dark. By the time Justin got home, I was generally about to burst into tears every day. And also, when I left the hospital, they'd told me that it was normal to be emotional for two weeks, but not longer than that, and that past that point if I was weepy, I should talk to someone about PPD/PPA. So then I'd cry more because I was worried that I was crying. Well. Although the advice was well-intentioned and probably good advice in general, I think that I was actually super-emotional because I was only sleeping 1 or 2 hours a day...which also explained why it only tended to happen in the evening--I was just exhausted! Now that I'm getting 4 or 5 hours of sleep a day (combined, not in one stretch), I'm feeling a TON better. There are still hard and exhausting days, but I don't think I've cried this week!

-Just like last time, I'm still feeling a little overwhelmed with trying to balance the needs of the kiddos and everything else. When I'm not feeding, changing a diaper, or cleaning up poop/puke/Lizzy's spilled lunch...basically all I want to be doing is sleeping or just vegging out with a book or the TV. It's hard to motivate myself to do darn near anything else at this point! This is going to sound super bratty (and I hope y'all can see through that to the heart of what I'm about to say)...but the other day I found myself wishing that people would just stop bringing baby gifts already because on the off chance that I have a spare moment, the very last thing I want to do is write a thank you note, and I'm constantly stressing out about how far behind I am with them already!

One Week Postpartum

*Note: This post is about all the gory postpartum details via survey stolen and (slightly modified) from Kristal. Fair warning. Just saying. 

How far along were you when you had your baby? 39 weeks

How long was labor? About an hour and a half from the "pop" that I thought was my water breaking until delivery. And of that, probably 15-20 minutes was the nurses telling me not to push. So...yeah. I am totally terrified about what this means for any future kiddos.

Total weight gain: About 27 pounds

Total weight loss so far: About 12 pounds. I'm about 15 pounds away from pre-pregnancy weight. Even though the weight loss isn't as much as I would like, I have been surprised at how quickly my belly is shrinking back down this time. Here's a photo from this morning: 

Which I think is similar to where I was about one month postpartum with Lizzy (at which point I was about 18 pounds above pre-pregnancy weight): 

I didn't start talking about weight loss and such until I was about a month postpartum with Lizzy, so I don't know whether I lost all the weight initially and then just didn't lose any more until I started working out, or whether it was a steady loss up until that month point...it will be interesting to see how things go this time around. 

How is physical recovery going? Pretty well. I'm starting to get a little itchy and sore around the areas where I have stitches, which is uncomfortable, but not terrible. On Monday night, I was REALLY achy and sore all over, and then started to get the chills, and eventually a low-grade fever of about 100 degrees. I was pretty sure I was dying of sepsis, and was ready to call my OB at like 1am. Justin convinced me to take some ibuprofen and wait a couple hours to see what happened. The fever broke about 3am, and I'm still alive (obviously). Since then, I've learned from Dr. Google that a low-grade fever is normal for some women when their milk comes in...which it did on Monday. So, I'm guessing that was that. 

What do you miss about being pregnant? Not a darn thing. I tolerate pregnancy in order to get the baby out of it, but I don't really enjoy it at all. 

How is nursing going?  It's going well.  Rebecca latched on almost immediately after being born, and nursing has been easier with her than it ever was with Lizzy, who sucked her tongue in utero. Rebecca pretty much nurses all the time, which is also a lot different than Lizzy. With Lizzy, I'd be lucky to get her to nurse for 15 minutes every three hours. With Rebecca, on Monday we watched 3 or 4 episodes of a TV show on Netflix, and I nursed her at least once per 42 minute episode. So overall, it's going well...that's not to say that it isn't toe-curlingly painful when she first latches on, but it is much, much better than it was with Lizzy. 
 

Have you taken her out yet?  Yes. We all went to the pediatrician on Monday. Justin went back to work on Tuesday, and on Wednesday I took both girls to the drive-thru at the bank and the Dollar Store. And then I felt like I needed a five hour nap. I wish I had a Moby wrap right about now, 'cause I think that would make taking her out to places like church easier.

How/where does she sleep?  I'm beginning to think that Rebecca is a vampire. Seriously, she does not sleep at night, AT ALL, unless she is being held. I'm not talking sleeping through the night...I'm talking sleeping at ALL during the night. This is bad news, because I am not comfortable co-sleeping at all because of how heavily Justin sleeps. So the last few nights, I've sat down to nurse her, and then woken up in a terror-stricken panic about 15 minutes later. It is not a good situation. 

During the day? She has no problem sleeping. But a lot of good that does me, because it's significantly harder to sleep when the baby sleeps when you also have a toddler. For example, the other morning, I put Rebecca in the swing right next to the couch, put on a movie for Lizzy, and gave Lizzy strict instructions not to get off the couch unless it was to go to the bathroom (in which case, she was to come right back to the couch). I laid down, and cat napped on the couch...and was woken up by Lizzy yelling delightedly, "Mom! I gave baby sister an underdog!!!" 

So yeah. The sleep situation sucks. Lizzy is going to my sister-in-law's house for a couple of hours today, during which time I plan to sleep, sleep, and sleep some more. Hopefully without simultaneously holding a newborn. 

How's the big sister doing? We are in a definite period of adjustment with Lizzy. Most of the time, she is so incredibly sweet with her sister, and it is a joy and a blessing to watch. Lizzy wants to hold her and kiss her all the time, and just loves her to pieces. But on the other hand, I can tell that she's also pushing limits and boundaries big time--like, nearly every time I'm nursing Rebecca, she will get into something that she knows she's not supposed to do, and straight-up ignores me if I tell her to stop, all with this big grin on her face because she knows I'm indisposed. And now if she's mad? Lizzy will let out this absolutely blood curdling scream--something that she never did before, and I have no doubt that she's totally doing it on purpose in order to try and wake up her sister. And that totally makes my blood boil.

I'm trying to be intentional about spending time doing something one-on-one with Lizzy at least once per day while Rebecca is sleeping--painting our nails, coloring, reading books, etc. I try to let Lizzy direct the activity. I know that this is just an adjustment period, so I'm trying not to stress about it too much, even though it has been a little difficult. We've also noticed that Lizzy has really started becoming a lot more attached to Justin--when she's hurt, she wants him. When she wants to snuggle, she wants him. From the minute he walks in the door at night, she is climbing all over him wanting to play and wrestle. Which I don't honestly mind. Sometimes they can totally antagonize each other, so it's nice to watch them bond a little! Justin is doing a great job giving Lizzy extra attention when he is home.

What are you looking forward to? I'm hoping to do some newborn pictures this weekend! It's just been so rainy and dreary lately that I haven't bothered. But we may go to my parents' house for a bit this weekend, and they have a ton of windows, which might actually make it possible.  

Breastfeeding + God-Sized Dreams

When I got pregnant with Lizzy, I knew I wanted to breastfeed for the first year. I had no illusions that it would be easy, but I figured that it would definitely be do-able. Just to be clear here, I don't actually think that breastfeeding is best for every family and every situation, but I had read a lot about the benefits of breastfeeding, and it was something that I wanted desperately for us and for our family.

Source: lucieslist.com via Meredith on Pinterest

As it turned out, breastfeeding was much harder than I expected. I can honestly say that I didn't ever enjoy a single nursing session like I've heard a lot of other moms talk about. Lizzy was a super active baby (she was walking around 9 months), and it was hard to keep her focused for a whole nursing session. Every single session was a battle, and I ended up in tears more often than not. She was very small, and I'm so thankful that we had a pediatrician who never pressured me to supplement with formula--I have no doubt that many others would have recommended just that for a baby who was in the 5th percentile. It seems crazy to say that through it all, as much as I hated it, I still wanted desperately to breastfeed.

When Lizzy was around 9 months old, she just stopped nursing. If it was a nursing strike, it was sure as heck the longest one I ever heard of, because I never actually got her to start again. We had introduced solids and she was eating quite a bit of them at that point, but we did end up having to supplement with formula...which was something that I never really imagined we'd have to do. And I was super irritated because I had set a goal of breastfeeding until Lizzy was 12 months old, I didn't accomplish that goal, and there was nothing that I could do about it. And consequently, I had a pretty hard time mentally and emotionally--being upset that I wasn't breastfeeding, being disappointed in myself for not being able to do it longer, being irritated with Lizzy that she couldn't just nurse like a "normal" kid, and being mad at myself for being somewhat relieved when we finally made the decision to switch to formula.

(Edited to note: Reading info like the above sign from Pinterest were both the reason that I wanted to breastfeed so badly AND the reason that I felt so terrible about not making it to the goal that I had set to exclusively BF for 12 months based on the recommendations of the AAP and WHO. I feel conflicted about the sign now, because while I think it gives some great statistics about breastfeeding and its benefits, I also feel like it unnecessarily bashes moms who choose to formula feed, and I think there's a better approach, which I'll get to later on in this post.)

During the whole breastfeeding experience with Lizzy, I never had a "nice" pump. I had a crappy one-sided electric that took FOREVER to pump with, and it was terrible. In retrospect, I think having a Medela or Ameda quality pump would have made a huge difference for me--heck, I think I probably would have been able to give her pumped milk instead of formula once she started refusing to nurse. But at the time, for our family, spending $200 or $300 on a breast pump was about as feasible as going to the moon.

I did some research then, and I've done some more this time around since I hope to be able to breastfeed #2 as well, and what I've found is that most advocates of breastfeeding will tell you that many moms need more support in order to breastfeed exclusively. I've been told that in Oregon, 91% of mothers initially breastfeed. But by 6 months, only 62% have continued (source). I've heard stories from many friends who said that they breastfed until they returned to work, and after that point, they just didn't have a pump that made it possible to pump enough milk in the time they were allowed.

The problem is that if you can't afford a $200 or $300 pump, you're often out of luck. Some insurances cover pumps, though at least mine doesn't actually reimburse you for a pump, just applies whatever you've spent towards your deductible (and since our deductible is $5,000, that's kind of worthless to us). Our local hospital doesn't offer rentals--the WIC office does, but they only have a couple, and priority goes to moms who are on WIC and working full-time. So what I see locally is that moms who can't afford to buy a pump often use a second-hand one from a friend or relative, which is not recommended at all and comes with its own set of risks and dangers.

I keep hearing from state health departments, the AAP, WHO, and the CDC that they want to promote breastfeeding...but if that's really the case, then it seems to me that instead of spending time and money trying to convince moms who decide to formula feed that they're making a bad decision, maybe a better place to start would be in offering better support to those women who do wish to breastfeed. One of the many ways to do that would be by offering all women better access to breast pumps at a more affordable price point.

I've done a lot of Googling--I figured there HAD to be a non-profit out there somewhere that provided women with breast pumps or grants for women to purchase pumps...but I can't really find one. So some day, I think I'd like to start one. Though, after some initial-research into what it takes to start a non-profit, funding sources required, etc-- that would be a God-sized dream for sure.

But that's not to say it's not possible :)

State of My Body: One Year Postpartum

Before becoming pregnant, and even while I was pregnant, I worried about my body post-pregnancy, as I'm sure most women do. Nearly everyone assured me that since I was breastfeeding, the weight would melt off with little to no effort, and I'd be back in my normal jeans in no time.

But I was worried--see, I knew from speaking to both my mom and my mother-in-law that neither had amazing breastfeeding weight loss experiences. In fact, my mom told me that she didn't lose a pound until she stopped breastfeeding. And I knew that nearly everyone in my family has struggled with their weight. And I knew that my husband loves pizza, and ice cream, and constantly brings home goodies that I have a hugely difficult time saying no to. So, I was worried.

And as you may remember, the whole postpartum experience was not a pleasant one for me. I was hugely swollen for weeks from being pumped with fluids. I tore badly, and was in a lot of pain, for weeks. Breastfeeding was a battle, and hurt like hell. And as the months progressed, I never lost a pound past that initial drop before leaving the hospital, despite working out and eating fairly healthily.

Several months ago, I took the scale outside to the garage. It was causing more harm than good. I decided to track a few days worth of calories on The Daily Plate just to see where I was at. I started doing the 30 Day Shred...and I finally did complete each level 10 times, though it took more than 30 days. I was excited about things...I had dropped two jeans sizes (but still wasn't back to my original size), and was feeling good. I stepped on the scale, and discovered that I weighed exactly one pound less than I had about three months prior. I was super discouraged. I felt like everyone around me who had a baby around the same time was back to their "normal" self, and I wasn't. And Justin was super tired of hearing me talk about it. He didn't understand how I could hate my body so much, and how it could destroy a day for me so easily (clothes shopping, anyone?). My self-esteem was nonexistent.

People would suggest Weight Watchers, or Nutrisystem, or any other diet when I'd complain, but (a) we simply didn't have room in the budget for it, and (b) I was terrified that I'd sign up for one of those things and fail. 

So, I think it was in October that I decided that instead of weighing myself, I would take my measurements, and track those on The Daily Plate instead. I continued doing the 30 Day Shred, and just before Christmas, I re-started the Couch to 5k Program (which I have started a number of times, but never finished). From the time I started measuring in October to the last time I took measurements (late December), I have lost 2.5 inches from my hips, 3.5 inches from my waist, and 2.5 inches from my chest. I really have no idea what's normal in terms of losing inches, so I'm not sure if that's a lot or hardly any, but it sure is nice to see progress!

I've decided to refrain from taking measurements again until after I conquer the 20 minute run next week...though I think they've probably decreased since the last time I took them. Seeing pictures from Lizzy's party was literally the first time that I had seen a picture of myself and thought that I looked relatively normal and not absolutely huge. Also? As I write this (Thursday night), I'm wearing pajama pants that I received for Christmas and couldn't even pull up over my hips at the time. But now I'm wearing them and they aren't skin tight, so that's good. And for the first time yesterday, I was able to successfully zip and button a pair of my pre-pregnancy jeans...I've still got some serious muffin top going on, so they're not quite ready to leave the house in, but again, it's progress.

My point in this isn't to have y'all cheer for me and say way to go. It also isn't to say "poor me...how come everyone else has it so easy?!" I guess my point in writing this is to give a voice to those of us who really struggle with reclaiming our bodies after having a baby--one year later, I'm still probably not back to my pre-pregnancy weight. But in a lot of ways, I might be more healthy. It's kind of incredible to see what my body can do with this running thing...I'm strong. And I'm down three (maybe four) pants sizes...so even if I stepped on the scale tomorrow and hadn't lost a pound, I can confidently say that I AM making progress.

And that feels good.

A Ramble about Breastfeeding...

I think I've mentioned before that when I was pregnant, I was excited to breastfeed. I had researched it. I was so excited that this was something that I could do for Lizzy to help prevent allergies and asthma down the road {although, I was breastfed and have the worst allergies of anyone I know!}. I felt confident. After our birthing class, Justin was excited about me breastfeeding. He kept talking about all the benefits of breastfeeding and how he was so happy that I was going to do it. I knew of a doula that did breastfeeding support if needed. Don't get me wrong...I knew it wouldn't be easy, but I felt like I could do it.I felt like it was what God had made my body to do, and that it was a beautiful thing.

And then Lizzy arrived. I had a terrible experience with a lactation consultant at the hospital. She would grab Lizzy, and shove her on my boob while saying, "Don't touch her!" Then, after having Lizzy "nurse" for six hours straight in the middle of the night, it became apparent to me that Lizzy just wanted to suck for comfort. I asked the nurse for a pacifier, and she brought me one. Later, the same lactation consultant came in the room, and yelled at me that Lizzy was a bad nurser (she used to press her tongue up to the roof of her mouth when she was trying to latch on), and that if I was going to give her a pacifier, I might as well give up breastfeeding right then and there. I ignored her, and Lizzy and I both slept. The next morning, I had a new lactation consultant who was more helpful, and had me participate in the process more, but was also very condescending.

A few weeks later, we had the nursing down a bit better. But, Lizzy was extremely active from the start, and would often pull off to look around the room, even if I was nursing her in a dark and silent room. Breastfeeding was not enjoyable for me, at all. Lizzy didn't lay there and look up at me lovingly...she'd pinch, and kick, and keep trying to turn her head to look around the rest of the room. I asked my mom, "Is this normal?" and she said that none of her kids had been nearly that busy and active while nursing.

We talked to the doctor about it, who did weight checks before and after nursing, and concluded that she WAS getting enough each feeding (i.e. no apparent supply issues), she was just apparently very active. They suggested swaddling her to nurse. That didn't help much.

And then, after working out and working out, but not losing any weight, I started having a number of conversations with friends who said that they weren't able to lose any weight until they stopped breastfeeding. And that became ANOTHER reason, albeit a selfish one, that breastfeeding wasn't enjoyable. In some part of my brain, I saw breastfeeding as the roadblock to becoming "me" again after having Lizzy. But I banished that thought from my brain, and promised myself that I would NOT stop just because I wanted to lose weight. I would not stop until Lizzy was showing signs that she was ready to stop. 

Breastfeeding became something that I did, because I had the supply and the ability. I believe in the benefits of breastfeeding. I felt that it was important, but I didn't enjoy it. I haven't ever enjoyed it. So why not switch to formula?

For one, because money is tight. Don't get me wrong, we could afford formula. But in my eyes, there was no reason for me to justify not breastfeeding--I had the supply, Lizzy wasn't having stomach issues or latch issues, etc. So for me, switching to formula would have been an unnecessary expense. Let me be clear--I'm not saying that everyone who chooses to give a baby formula when they are capable of breastfeeding is spending unnecessarily. Just that for me personally, I couldn't justify switching in my mind--I felt like I needed to do what was best for Lizzy, even if that wasn't necessarily what was best for me. And I wanted to be absolutely sure that I wasn't stopping just because I wanted to lose weight.  Plus, I had set the goal of breastfeeding until Lizzy was at least six months old, and dammit, I was going to meet that goal.

Now, Lizzy is seven months old. And I'm still mostly breastfeeding, with the exception of a formula bottle for the last feeding each day, which came about for a variety of different reasons. It is the one feeding each day that I enjoy. The rest have become extremely difficult--every feeding, she'll latch on for five or ten seconds, then arch her back and scream. Then she'll latch on for five or ten seconds, then kick and hit me repeatedly. Then she'll latch on for five or ten seconds, arch her back and try to throw herself out of my arms.

When I do pump, I've been pumping the same amount. It doesn't appear to be a decrease in my supply. I am 100% convinced that she would simply rather take a bottle, because she can hold it herself and look around the room while she is eating. This has been going on for nearly a month, and I am really beginning to think that Lizzy is trying to wean.

But for some reason, I am still trying to nurse her. I don't enjoy it. I dread it, but I am still trying to do it. I feel so guilty about even considering stopping, and I'm not sure why...I have nothing against formula. I hit my goal of breastfeeding for six months (and then some). It clearly isn't a good experience for either one of us, and it isn't just about me wanting to lose weight...she clearly doesn't like nursing any more than I do. The important thing is that she's eating, not whether it's breastmilk or formula, right?! So why do I still feel so guilty about the idea of stopping?

I'm not sure where I'm going with this...I just kind of had to get it out there.

In the Photo Friday- Week 5

This past weekend, Justin's baby sister married one of his best friends.

Sadly, I forgot my camera, but was able to steal some shots from Facebook. Kaitlin's parents were the photographers, and her mom told me that they got at least one shot of the three of us, which I'm thankful for. Still, these pictures are difficult for me to look at. It might be silly or petty, but I had kind of secretly planned in my head to have lost all the baby weight by Kelsey's wedding. And I haven't, despite my best efforts and what feels like constant working out. And I feel fat and lumpy double-chin-y and depressed about it.

Okay, those last two weren't terrible. Not what I WANT, but not terrible. But the full-body shots are what really make me cringe.

Blech. I just don't like it at all. Any of it. It kind of makes me want to cry. Truthfully, I always feel big compared to the girls in Justin's family who are naturally small and petite. Even when I was skinny, I felt "big" because I was so much taller. But now I'm taller AND bigger, and that sucks.

And on that happy note, if you participated in "In The Photo Friday" this week, be sure to leave a comment to let us all know!

Photos and Snippets

 -On Friday, we threw a wedding shower for Justin's youngest sister. One of the games was the toilet paper dress game. The boys decided to play, and ended up dressing (the other) Justin up like a mummy...but I thought that he looked a lot like Lady Gaga.

-Later that weekend, we went to a birthday party for our friends whose daughter just turned one. I can't believe she's so big already! Love birthday parties at parks...so much fun!

(I really want to convince her momma to let me do a full on cake smash photo session with her!)

Payton's expression in this one cracked me up!

-Our garden is coming together really well despite battling earwigs and snails. We harvested our first crop yesterday--radishes. They are huge.

- I have a family photo shoot this afternoon. I am nervous! I always am before photo shoots--it's like presentations at school.

- I think I'm just about ready to drop another pants size, which is awesome. HOWEVER, I cannot seem to actually lose any weight, which is weird because I'm definitely getting smaller. And its irritating because I have to go into the doctor here in a couple weeks, and I'm dreading it, because he's going to just look at the scale, and we're going to have the following conversation, which plays over and over in my head: 

Dr: Meredith, you weigh the same now as you did at your six week postpartum appointment. 

Me: I know, but I've been running three to five days a week, and I've dropped three pants sizes. 

Dr: But by your BMI, you are considered obese. We need to get your BMI lower.

Me: I just don't know what else to do--I'm eating healthily, not tons of junk. Watching portions. I'm exercising three to five days a week. 

And then the doctor will give me the side eye, because if I'm doing that, I SHOULD be losing weight, but I am not. So he is not going to believe me, even though it's true.

Can I say again how people say, "Oh, if you breastfeed, the weight will just melt right off!" are liars. Because I cannot seem to lose a pound.

8 Weeks Postpartum

I feel like I can confidently say that there is a marked difference between 6 weeks postpartum, and 8 weeks postpartum! To be honest, I've only seen a 3 or so pound difference on the scale, but I definitely see and feel a difference in the way that clothes fit, and that is NICE.  I might keep taking pictures of my progress, because I find that what I see in the mirror is often totally different than what I see in pictures--for some reason, I can look at pictures more objectively.

I've been doing the 30 Day Shred at least 3 times a week (but usually more) since week 6. I still haven't moved up to Level 2, but I think that I'll be able to soon. It feels good to get the body moving. And I notice that when I'm exercising, I tend to eat healthier as well, so it's a good and rewarding cycle.

On the other hand of postpartum issues, despite the fact that I'm exclusively breastfeeding (and inexplicably dealing with a seriously bruised nipple right now), my period made a most unwelcome arrival this past week. This is not supposed to happen. But apparently it does for a small percentage of women, which I am apparently (and not surprisingly) a part of. This, friends, is precisely why breastfeeding cannot be relied upon for birth control. I am really not very happy about this situation right now. I know that breastfeeding is the best form of nutrition for little babies, but I can't help but be a little frustrated that I seem to have missed out on the two major perks {heh!} of breastfeeding--weight loss, and the lack of Aunt Flo. Because let me tell ya--I don't find breastfeeding fun in any way, and I don't particularly enjoy it. One or both of those benefits certainly would have made it an easier pill to swallow.

In terms of other postpartum issues, I'm finding that I have to pay WAY more attention to both water intake and fiber intake than I ever had to prior to pregnancy. If either one falls below par, it seriously messes up my body, and takes quite awhile to recover.

Also, burping and farting. Maybe I'm alone in this, 'cause I haven't read about it in any pregnancy books anywhere, but I both burp and fart far more now than I did pre-pregnancy. And it's really pretty uncontrollable. And pretty disgusting. I mean, Justin is a freaking plumber, and he gets grossed out. Just thought that I'd throw that out there, lol!

How's that for your bi-monthly dose of postpartum overshare?

6 Weeks Post-Partum

 

  

So. Six weeks postpartum looks and feels a lot like four weeks postpartum. To be honest, I haven't really lost any more weight. Maybe a pound or two depending on when I weigh myself. I feel really lumpy. I can definitely see the extra remaining weight in my hips and belly.

In terms of other postpartum stuff, the lochia has finally stopped...thank the lord! That stuff is just nasty. Blech. That said, I'm gonna be honest that pooping still hurts most of the time...and by 'hurts', I mean REALLY hurts. Like giving birth hurts (and I am not exaggerating here). Apparently, this can be normal depending on the degree of tear and what not. Also, I have developed hemorrhoids. I didn't have them at ALL during the whole pregnancy...but I have them now. Awesome. 

As far as breastfeeding goes, it's getting much easier as time goes on. I have a nursing cover (I just bought one from Target), which makes it easier and less stressful for me to nurse in public. That said, I'm still not always comfortable nursing in public...say in the middle of church....because Lizzy screams bloody murder while we're switching sides. If it doesn't happen instantaneously, she's not happy and has a cow. She also HATES to be burped, and usually screams bloody murder during that as well. So, I often try to pump enough that J can feed her at least once over the weekend. It's usually at church. Every once in awhile, my nipples will start to hurt again, but I think that's mostly because I get lazy about enforcing a good latch. When I do, they usually start to feel much better. 

I just got the okay to exercise on Monday, and I since worked out Monday and Tuesday. I mentioned yesterday that I wasn't sore after working out on Monday...but by last night, I was definitely feeling it in my quads. I used to have a hard time motivating myself to work out, but posting these pictures is actually a great motivator! In fact, even though today is supposed to be my "day off", I actually want to do something active. I feel better about myself when I do. I also finally broke down and bought a pair of clearance jeans from Old Navy (online, to get the talls). Maybe they'll hold in my belly better than the elastic panel on the maternity jeans? 

Speaking of holding in one's belly....I used to wonder why most moms I knew wore their pants (even pajamas or sweats) fairly high. Even ones that used to be the queens of low rise pants seemed to wear their pants much higher after having a baby. Now I know. Higher pants = Belly Held In = Less Lumpy.

Some Snippets

-I had my six week postpartum appointment yesterday. It was super fast, and didn't even involve an exam. Basically, it involved me getting a prescription for birth control. I'm trying out the Mini Pill. I was on the pill for years prior to becoming pregnant, and I think that I was late taking a pill twice. Here's hoping it doesn't turn me into a psycho crazy person. If you've had babies, what did you do for birth control after?

-I was also given the green light to work out, which I did yesterday. I didn't feel like I should jump right into the 30 Day Shred, so I did the Biggest Loser Cardio Max DVD yesterday. It felt good, but I'm not super sore today...and I like to be sore. I know I'm working out hard then! I may try 30 Day Shred today. We'll see. For now, I'm stuck with DVDs...so if you have a favorite, I'd love to hear about it!

-Lizzy is going through her 6 week growth spurt, which means that she's been exceptionally fussy lately. Sometimes she's just inconsolable--she's fed, changed, burped, being held, and still just cries. You know that song we used to sing when we were younger, "Sally and Bob sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G..."? Well, I have made up my own lyrics that I sing to Lizzy when she's a fussy butt. It goes like this:

Little Miss Lizzy sitting in a tree 

F-U-S-S-I-N-G

First comes a whimper

Then comes a cry

Then comes a scream with tears in her eyes

She's such a sweetie, and I always wish that I knew what to do for her when she gets fussy like this! I just keep telling myself that these growth spurts only last a few days and then we'll be back to normal.

-Can I request some prayers? My family is going through a pretty rough time with one of my siblings. I know that's pretty vague, but prayers for reconciliation would be really helpful.

-I'm still waiting for the band's taxes to come back so that I can do ours. I just want to get them done and out of the way! Plus, I'd really like our refund please and thanks.

One Month Postpartum

After lots of debate, I've decided to write about what it's been like for me after giving birth. I haven;t written much about thus because this isn't something that I really WANT to write about (or show pictures of), to be honest, but I feel like it does a disservice to those reading about the pregnancy to not talk about what things are like afterwords. Please be advised that these posts may contain talk of boobs, cervix, uteruses, blood, etc. While it isn't my intent to be graphic, it IS my intent to be honest, which means that sometimes this *might* be graphic. There you have it.

 

 

one month postpartum

Yes, those are all stretch marks. UGH. No, I didn't have them all prior to labor and delivery. See folks, there are both pluses and minuses to having a really fast labor and delivery. I'm having a hard time with the stretch marks.

For those following along at home, I gained just about 40 pounds during pregnancy. Two weeks after delivery, I had lost 22 pounds...and the weight loss has pretty much stayed there. It has NOT "melted off" with breastfeeding. I'm trying to stay positive about the fact that I will continue to lose once I'm able to start working out again. Still, my hips seem considerably wider, and I don't know how much of that I'll be able to change. This is also hard because none of my pre-pregnancy pants fit in the hips, but my maternity pants don't fit in other ways. The only pants that fit right now are yoga pants.

I'm happy to report that my tears (I had two--front to back) are finally starting to feel much better. They still itch or sting every once in awhile, but overall, I'm no longer in constant pain, which is good. Going to the bathroom still hurts though.

Breastfeeding is also going much better. There isn't much pain anymore, which is awesome. I've also figured out the pump, and J has successfully given her a bottle, which is good news in terms of me being able to go somewhere (like to get a haircut) for a few hours at a time. The only problem is that I think I have an overactive let-down--Lizzy will sometimes pull off choking, and milk sprays all over both of us. That, coupled with the lochia, makes me feel like I stink all the time. Still, it's sometimes hard to motivate myself to take a shower, because if she's not feeding, I'd rather be eating myself or sleeping (and just for the record, most of my blog commenting happens via cell phone while she's nursing).

That's all I can think of right now...any postpartum questions?