Compared to one-month postpartum with Lizzy:
It's 8pm as I'm writing this. Justin is still at work, and I just put Lizzy to bed with much drama due to her refusing to eat the chicken noodle soup that she requested for dinner. Becca is currently sleeping in her bouncer, and other than while driving, it's the first time I've not been holding someone all day. I'd guess I probably have 10 minutes before Lizzy either tries to sneak out of her bedroom or Becca is ready to nurse again...and that basically sums up the first month postpartum! Ha!
Seriously though, here's the scoop for real:
-I have about 7-10 pounds to lose in order to be back at the pre-pregnancy weight from this time around. I definitely feel that extra in my hips and belly, but not as much as I did with Lizzy. Of course, as most moms will tell you, even if you lose all the pregnancy weight right away, that still doesn't mean that your pre-pregnancy jeans are going to fit! I'm currently about one pants size larger than I was pre-pregnancy, which is a happy treat--although you can't really tell in the two photos, my hips were SIGNIFICANTLY wider after Lizzy, and at that time I was wearing jeans that were two sizes larger than I'm wearing now (three sizes larger than pre-pregnancy, in total). Still, I'm looking forward to being able to wear my "normal" clothes again, and hope that happens sooner rather than later!
-I'm getting a little antsy to start working out, and am looking forward to starting Insanity with Justin at the end of this month or beginning of next. I'm also hoping to be getting a little more sleep than I'm getting now by then though, or I will die.
-Just like with Lizzy, I think I have an overactive letdown--Rebecca often pulls off the boob choking and coughing. But unlike Lizzy, she actually seems to like to eat, and rarely will even go 3 hours between feeding sessions. For at least a couple of weeks there, she was seriously nursing like 20 hours a day (which I think probably had to do with the staph infection). Breastfeeding still hurts a bit as she latches on, but the pain goes away once I feel the letdown. Becca seems to chomp down at the beginning to control the flow, and I'm sure that doesn't help. Also? I don't really remember feeling engorged with Lizzy, but man alive do I feel it this time around! I think you could probably set a clock by my boobs :)
-For the first three weeks, I was super emotional...especially once it started to get dark. By the time Justin got home, I was generally about to burst into tears every day. And also, when I left the hospital, they'd told me that it was normal to be emotional for two weeks, but not longer than that, and that past that point if I was weepy, I should talk to someone about PPD/PPA. So then I'd cry more because I was worried that I was crying. Well. Although the advice was well-intentioned and probably good advice in general, I think that I was actually super-emotional because I was only sleeping 1 or 2 hours a day...which also explained why it only tended to happen in the evening--I was just exhausted! Now that I'm getting 4 or 5 hours of sleep a day (combined, not in one stretch), I'm feeling a TON better. There are still hard and exhausting days, but I don't think I've cried this week!
-Just like last time, I'm still feeling a little overwhelmed with trying to balance the needs of the kiddos and everything else. When I'm not feeding, changing a diaper, or cleaning up poop/puke/Lizzy's spilled lunch...basically all I want to be doing is sleeping or just vegging out with a book or the TV. It's hard to motivate myself to do darn near anything else at this point! This is going to sound super bratty (and I hope y'all can see through that to the heart of what I'm about to say)...but the other day I found myself wishing that people would just stop bringing baby gifts already because on the off chance that I have a spare moment, the very last thing I want to do is write a thank you note, and I'm constantly stressing out about how far behind I am with them already!
Wow! You look great! I too remember feeling very anxious as nighttime would roll around. It was like being in a horror film for me and for some reason I felt very alone and afraid. Hang in there, as I'm sure you know, it'll get better!
ReplyDeleteYou're doing great!!! It's only been a month. Take a breath and cut yourself some slack!!! No one is going to freak out if your thankyous are a few weeks (or months!!!) late!! You're no longer one of the girls with one kid, and everyone will understand.
ReplyDeleteAnd I would die without sleep. If you're looking for a silver lining, you can take comfort in the fact that you've single-handedly reaffirmed that I made the right decision (for ME, no one else) not to try breastfeeding. I would have died. Literally. So hooray for you!!
See? Silver linings all over the place.
You look so good! I can totally relate to the thank yous. I felt like that's all I did in my spare time in the beginning. Hang in there mama!
ReplyDeleteYou look amazing Meredith!
ReplyDeleteGirl you look amazing!!! And who cares about thank you notes and a clean house at this point - you need to get some sleep! And more than an hour or 2 at a time because that's just a nap. As long as everyone is clean and fed and somewhat happy then you should consider that an accomplishment. Just keep a list on the thank you notes and you'll get to them eventually. If people gripe about getting a thank you a couple months after you've had a baby then I've got a few choice words for them. You're doing awesome :)
ReplyDeleteYou look fantastic! Hopefully you can get some good sleep soon :)
ReplyDeleteAw sweetie - it will get easier. You are going great! And you look great!
ReplyDeleteWhen Luke was born we had so many people line up to bring us meals - its was amazing - but I found myself wishing they would just leave them outside! Haha thats awful, but ugh - I just didnt want to do anything more than slub around in my pjs and nursing bra!
You look awesome!!!! & I hear you on the TY notes - I still have about 15 from the wedding that I haven't done yet (2 months ago), and I DON'T have 2 kids to keep me from doing them! Sometimes I wish a sincere "Thank you for this!" was enough!
ReplyDeleteYou look amazing! Seriously you don't even look like you were pregnant at all! Hope things get easier in the sleep department for you...I only have one and I'm exhausted most days! Sounds like you are doing great otherwise!
ReplyDeleteWow, gorgeous lady! You seriously look incredible.
ReplyDeleteIt WILL get easier, each day.
Dang girl. You look amazing!!
ReplyDeleteAnd I remember thinking I wanted ppl to stop bringing us food because if I had a free minute, I wanted to just sit and zone and chill, not small talk and entertain. Really, though...I did still want that food. :)
Two things.
ReplyDeleteThe getting emo at night? I did that with all four kids. 4pm would hit everyday, and I'd start feeling panicky and anxious about the fact that I KNEW I wasn't going to sleep. I remember it well.
Second thing. Two kids is a tough adjustment. Six months. Six months is how long it took me to feel less like I was falling off a cliff everyday. Give yourself some slack. If both kids get fed, and clothed, and nobody falls out a window? Then you're good.
You look awesome and I agree with the pp---give yourself a break a bit. The first month is HARD and well, I didn't start to feel truly on top of things (most of the time at least) until about 4-5 months. It's just a freaking rollercoaster until then---an amazing ride but still wild.
ReplyDeleteIt will get better and when you can work out you will FEEL even better!
I recall the nightly emotional meltdowns well. As soon as it started to get dark, I was weepy like crazy.
ReplyDeleteIn other news, you look awesome! Awesome, awesome!