Monday, January 23, 2012

Messy Mom Monday, Week 2

I'm back for another edition of Messy Mom Monday...and my house is still messier than I'd like, which I think will probably sufficiently describe it for the next 16+ years. Anyway, today I thought I'd focus not so much on the actual messiness of our house, but another way that moms can be a little bit messy--emotionally and/or mentally:

1) J and I drove over to the city where my parents live on Saturday because I had a photo shoot of a banquet scheduled. So, I got all my stuff together, dragged out a pair of slacks that sort-of fit, and had Justin drop me off....only to realize that the banquet is next Saturday. All our communication clearly states the 28th, but for some reason, I had it in my head that it was the 21st. So that was awkward, showing up to the venue and talking to the front desk person, who clearly thought I was a dumb blonde idiot. And I felt like an idiot. I don't know what I was thinking, but I'm just SO GLAD that I was a week early instead of a week late. Still, at least we got to eat dinner and visit with my fam!

2) I'm still a little bit of a mess regarding the whole mystery bruise experience. Even though they clearly told me that they successfully removed all the skin cancer, any time I have a stomach ache, or get a bruise, or notice that a softball scar I've had since middle school has a bit of a purple-ish tint to it, I still have a hard time not thinking that it's cancer and that I'm going to die. I know it doesn't make sense, but it's just kind of weird and hard to go from months and months of worrying and being terrified, to one day being fine and not having to think about it anymore.

3) I've disabled anonymous comments on this blog. I had been allowing them because my parents, Justin, and a few other real-life friends who don't have blogs of their own comment every once in awhile, and I like hearing from them. However, after I was left a mean and snarky anonymous comment on my last post about Lizzy, I realized that the vast majority of anonymous comments I receive are either spam, or some sort of snarky/mean comment. All my friends and family should still be able to comment through Open ID, so I just see no reason for allowing the anonymous comments any more. ETA--The Open ID thing is a bit trickier than I thought, so I've just decided to enable comment moderation instead, for the time being. We'll see how that goes!

I wish I could say that the mean or negative comments are easy for me to brush off, but they aren't always, even though the support from my husband and others who know us in real life should easily trump one nasty comment. I KNOW it wasn't that big of a deal, but it still hurts a little.. It makes me sad, because I pride myself on being honest here, sharing the good and bad, the messy and otherwise.

It also makes me sad that as far as I can tell from the stats (because even when you post anonymously, it isn't completely anonymous), this wasn't a troll--this was someone who reads and visits fairly regularly. It makes me sad that that person, didn't just sign in and comment something like, 'Hey, when you tell stories about Lizzy talking, do you translate or paraphrase what she's saying? It sounds like she's saying a lot more than most 2 year old kids I know,'...because that's a question I'd be happy to answer.

You don't have to be nice to me, though it does hurt my feelings when you're not. You don't have to agree with me, or with everything that I write. But the messy truth is that I think that if you can't even stand behind the negative remarks you make, you probably already know that you're in the wrong. I really try avoid stooping to the level of the mean comments, but the messy truth is that in my opinion, if you resort to being an anonymous snark, that makes you a sucky person. Or maybe just someone who has some emotional messes yourself. I don't know. But, I do know that I'm willing to admit that I just don't want to deal with the anonymous snark anymore, so I'm not going to.

Thanks for letting me be real--messiness and all :) Have some messes of your own? Link up at Living in the Moment or Dude and Sweets!

{More evidence that I'm a mess mentally sometimes? I definitely just wrote "Licking in the Moment" Heh.}


  1. Just know that in the midst of snarky, rude comments, there is a HUGE bunch of us that really appreciate your time, effort and honesty in writing this blog!

  2. Amanda took the words out of my mouth, for one negative comment there's at least 100 of us who love your honesty and your blog. :)

  3. Sorry you had to deal with a negative commenter- it weirds me out that people leave comments like that on personal blogs- I mean there is plenty of places online to argue and be rude if that's your thing. Anyway, hope you have a happy rest of your monday! :)


  4. Annoying. I don't mean to pull the old "Ugh, jealous HATORZ" card but with that particular issue I think that the person likely has a child of similar age. When my first son was this age I would be skeptical of a story of a child saying something like that. With my second son? Ooh boy, yeah he can certainly string words together and could probably say that exact sentence clear as day.

    Anyway - like the previous comments have said, I also appreciate your honesty and love your blog.

  5. That is pretty low to leave a negative comment about a 2 year old. Do people really have nothing better to do than leave mean comments on blogs? Strange. I don't comment a lot but I do enjoy your stories. Thanks for sharing.

  6. I just saw this 'anonymous' comment. Don't let it get to you. It's annoying that people are so... 'pea brained?' In all 2 year old God Daughter speaks in COMPLETE full sentences. I walked in the other day and she proceeded to tell me "Jessie, why you leave me, don't go home. You stay here." SO. Take that, Ms. Anonymous Commenter.

  7. I am sorry you are feeling upset about the rude comment previously made, I know it is very hard to just brush off unkind words. I get the feeling that this person may have a child Lizzy's age and might actually be jealous of Lizzy's development. Unfortunately, some moms take competitiveness to a whole other level. One of the reasons I read your blog is because your writing always comes across as honest and sincere, and I love hearing about life with Lizzy. My son is a few weeks younger than Lizzy and I am a first time mom as well. I think it's great how you are so proud of your daughter and you should never feel like you should hold back on your own blog!

  8. Good for you! Blogs can sorta be like diaries, and when some a-hat is tramping all over your stories with negative comments, it's a huge downer. Even with all the positive ones that out-weigh it. And you've totally inspired me to join in the Messy Mondays, even if I'm not a mommy. Oh boy, if I'm this chaotic before kids...

  9. I agree with what others have said that this anonymous person might just be jealous. Before becoming a SAHM I worked with young 2 year olds for several years, I also have one now myself. I have encountered kids that can speak in complete those that could only say a few words. My son is just starting to put a few words together, but his cousin has been speaking in full sentences since probably 15 months! All kids develop differently its just a fact of life! We had many children at the Day Care I worked at tell us that their mommy had a baby... rumors do get started that way!

    I love reading about other kids the same age as mine, they may not be doing the exact same thing, but I know we are all dealing with some of the same 2 year old issues. It's nice to know I am not alone!

  10. Ugh. Seriously. I don't understand the people who waste their time making negative comments. If you don't like what you're reading move on people. Move on!

    As a mother of a toddler with an absurd vocabulary, I 100% can imagine Lizzy speaking to you like that. Some kids can just talk! And there is no reason to be rude or judgmental about it.

    Hope you have a fantastic day! :)

  11. I'm with you 100% on if you can't stand behind what you say, you shouldn't be allowed to post it (or you know, in a perfect world, you shouldn't say it in the first place). Sorry another Anon got to you!

  12. Awww, I'm sorry that you had a mean comment. Believe me, I've been there, done that with anonymous comments.

    I think you're making the right decision.

  13. Yeah, people who don't stand behind their negative comments are effin tools.

    (See above.)

  14. As someone who gets their fair share of mean comments and emails from anon people...a few days ago someone told me Ella was too chubby and "not very cute"...I am so so so sorry. Because even though the rational adult inside us knows that someone is lashing out because they feel crappy about themselves, it still hurts the little girl we all have who just wants to be liked and live in a world where people respectfully disagree and say nice things, even if they don't agree with everything the other person says.

    Thinking of you!

  15. I've totally shown up at the wrong time for stuff like that. So awkward! And boo to mean comments. :(


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