Wednesday, August 4, 2010

A Funny Thing Happened At The DMV.

Yesterday, I headed to the DMV to renew my driver's license. I was seriously crossing my fingers that I had enough appropriate documents to do so because I still cannot find the folder of our legal documents. Anyway, I arrived, and checked in at the front desk. The front desk then filters you either to the "Take-A-Number" line or the "Express" Line.

The Express Line is about the biggest joke ever, because it is slow as molasses, and almost always out the door of the building, which means that I have to stand by the crazy lady who has been protesting the DMV for the past eight years (no joke) because she failed the vision portion of the driving test, and she feels that the state is taking away her civil liberties and infringing on her personal rights by not letting her drive even though she cannot see. Basically, the Express Lane = Bad.

So, the lady at the front desk tells me that I have to wait in the dreaded express lane, and then also adds, "Cute baby. She looks like a preemie. How early was she born?"

"Oh, she's not a preemie. She's just small."

"No, I'm pretty sure she was a preemie. You must have your dates wrong."

"Nope. If anything she was overdue. She's just small, but she's perfectly healthy."

I then proceeded to the Express Lane, where I waited for the next two hours. Once I got to the DMV representative, she said, "Your baby is so cute! How old is she?"

"Oh thank you, she's almost seven months."

"How much does she weigh?"

"Just twelve pounds two ounces--she's a petite one."

"Oh, my daughter was like that too. We had to do all sorts of tests because having an underweight baby puts them at all sorts of risks for having a genetic disease. Have you done the DNA screen yet?"

"No, her pediatrician isn't really concerned because her dad didn't pass the 15 pound mark until after he was a year old, and she's active and eating well."

"You really need to do the DNA screening. I know it's expensive, but you need to know if she has a genetic disease."

"Thanks for the advice," I responded as calmly as possible.

I sat down to wait for the dreaded photo, stewing a bit at the things people say to new moms about their babies. Then, I saw another new mom approach the desk with a baby in tow. Along the way, a couple people asked her how old her baby was (5 months) and how much he weighs (17 pounds). Their comments to her ranged from "What a chunk!" to "You need to stop feeding him as much" to "I hope he's not this overweight his entire life". I watched the mom smile pleasantly, duck out of each conversation, and roll her eyes.

I felt such solidarity with her! I mean, I don't wish any mom be told that their kiddo is anything less than perfect, but it was nice to hear that it isn't just me....and that if Lizzy were on the opposite end of the weight spectrum, people would say things that are just as ridiculous. Silly comments have just become a part of my world as a mom, and knowing that I'm not alone makes it just a little bit easier to handle!

And now, a message from Lizzy:  nmidfry8i  xe vcnobufkjburmlkffewyi tbxwd yui7

If you aren't a native speaker of Lizzy language, that roughly translates to "I will never blink...or sleep!"


  1. I sure hope I don't make a fool of myself talking to moms...and kudos to you keeping it classy - who says those things?

  2. wow. Ppl amaze me. I got that a lot when Brady was between 2-6 months because he was huge and tall. I actually was told once in the mall that when i had to leave to go feed him that maybe he wouldn't need such big clothes if he didn't eat so much.

    He's a baby. Babies eat. SOme are chunky, some are tiny. PPL need to learn to think before they speak. :)

  3. oh gosh...people are nuts. Seriously! I betcha Emeline weighs more then her right now, heh ;) I seriously think Lizzie in her all little'ness is SO STINKING CUTE.

  4. Uggggh! People tell me all the time how small Jaxon is for his age and I just say, "Yea, he was early" and leave it at that!

    Jaxon weighs about 12lbs now, so we will have to see how he and Lizzy compare next week :)

  5. That is SO frustrating. I had a conversation at the mall yesterday with a lady who kept saying how HUGE my baby is. I just smile and nod.

  6. I'm getting the same thing over here...constantly hearing how small my son is. It drives me insane! People need to learn how to behave :)

  7. Oh my goodness...people are completely inappropriate, and ridiculous.

  8. Um, just lived through this. I feel your pain. I'm impressed that you bit your tongue through all of that!

    "Was your baby born early?" "Nope, we just have small babies". "He looks like a preemie to me, you must have thought you were pregnant longer than you really were." Right.

    Three days later at the pool, "Wow, you're brave to bring a 4 day old to the pool." "He's 7 weeks". "He's too small, you need to supplement, especially if you're going to be exposing him to people and pool water."

    My response is, "Well, thanks for your concern, but we're leaving diagnoses up to the pediatrician."

  9. People need to learn to shut there mouths!!!!! Sorry, my husband has eyes that always look swollen and people are constantly telling him he basically looks like crap all the time, like he doesn't sleep and it really bothers him. Pretty sure you know when your baby was born! (Sorry for my little outburst!)

  10. I'm having the opposite problem with our little girl, she's 17.5 lbs and 28.5 inches at 6.5 months and everyone tells us to not feed her as much, and what a big girl she is, but the doctors say she's perfectly fine. Its so frustrating not to tell people what you really want to say when they make comments like that.

  11. Bad Religion has a song called "Fuck Armageddon, This Is Hell," and that's how I feel at the DMV.

    Also, have you considered the possibility that your baby is a reptile person in disguise? There's a screening for that, you know.

  12. That is absolutely ridiculous! Lizzy is perfect. End of story.

  13. my neighbors little girl ( who I absolutely love btw)is 15 months old and weighs 16 lbs. She's petite but so dang cute! She's completely healthy. People need to learn to except babies come in all different shapes and sizes ( as do adults).

    I think lizzy looks absolutely perfect :)

  14. People do think they know so much don't they? Ryann and I actually spent 2 hours at the DMV to get my tags renewed on Monday. Loads of fun. :o)

  15. DMV crappiness is a national epidemic. Why is it so awful everywhere?

    And you really need to check into that reptilian thing Ethan mentioned. It's a very expensive test but it's important you find out.

  16. Two hours!?! OMG! That's insane!!! You have much more patience than me, I would have asked to see their diploma from med school. Oh what? You don't have one-then zip it!

  17. I just don't get how it was any of her business...small or large, people should really keep their mouths shut!

  18. Some people really have some nerve, geez! I may not have been as nice as you were.

  19. LOL at "are you sure you have your dates correct?" I can't believe someone who doesn't even know you would ask you such an absurd question!
    My niece turns two in a few weeks, and she just hit 20 lbs! Such a cute little thing!

  20. Who says stuff like that? I might say "oh she's so tiny" or "oh what a little chunk" but it's while I'm ogling the cuteness out of the kid, not making any kind of crazy assumptions or judgements let alone telling a mom (who gave birth to her child and would surely know) that her child was a preemie. Wow. Some people.

  21. HAHA!!! Why do people feel the need to offer you unsolicited advice about parenting? She's your kid!! GRRRR...

  22. Excuse my language, but people are seriously such assholes.


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