Monday Morning Musings

This weekend had a lot of really good. It also had a lot of really hard. Such is life, I suppose.

-Friday started out with an unexpected day off for Justin....and 65* weather. What? The weather has been so weird this year--the mountain still hasn't even had enough snow to open for skiers and snowboarders! Anyway, the sunshine was much needed and welcomed for my sanity, and we took full advantage of the day with lots of scooters, bike rides, and a trip to the park. Then, while the kids napped, I planted a bunch of flower bulbs that I had forgotten to plant this fall. We'll see what happens with those!

-I also worked on my second quilt quite a bit and am really loving where that's going, and also had some time on Saturday to {finally} work on Becca's room and hung the gallery wall that I'd had sitting on her dresser for almost two years. I really like how that turned out, and think I didn't do too bad for not measuring or leveling anything or even making a plan in advance, ha! Becca is, of course, crying in the photo because she's been getting molars and is really puny lately. In this instance, I had changed her diaper, and then set her on the ground. Once her feet hit the ground, she started screaming hysterically and pointing to her changing pad and saying "Uppie!!" So, I picked her up and put her on her changing pad, and she was...still hysterical. 

-Speaking of Becca being hysterical, she is at that age where she knows what she wants, but doesn't always know the words for what she wants, which means that she is constantly frustrated and constantly throwing herself on the ground. She actually does a pretty good job of communicating--we have one of those "100 First Words" books and she'll often bring it over and point to something that she wants...but the problem is that she can't always HAVE what she wants. The other day she came over at like 6:30am and pointed to the chocolate bar. I asked her if she was hungry, and she shook her finger at me, said "NO", and very dramatically pointed at the chocolate bar. I asked if she wanted chocolate, and she nodded. Yeah, that turned into an epic tantrum. Babies are so weird, and this age is kinda hard in that way.

-This past week, one of our neighbors was killed in a pretty tragic accident at work. We didn't know those neighbors well, but I think his death hit both Justin and I pretty hard--for one, he was in his early forties. Second, he worked in construction, and was killed working at the same project that Justin had been working on for most of the past year. I know it probably sounds silly, but plumbing seems like a safe job. Not like a policeman or a firefighter. I really hadn't given much thought to the fact that Justin could go to work one day and not come home. But of course, that's true of anyone, any day, isn't it?

-Then over the weekend, we got word that an older man from church was in the ICU, and was not expected to make it through the day. He used to help with the youth group quite a bit when Justin and I were in high school, he organized the Easter Egg hunt for the little kids every year, and he was always in charge of the temporary tattoo station at our big summer carnival every year. Everybody called him "Uncle Charlie", and he really did feel like everybody's uncle. Kindness just poured out of him. He seemed to be getting better as the weekend continued on, but we knew that while it could mean he was getting better, it could also just as equally be a "final rally". He passed away on Sunday evening.

-We're having some electrical problems, which are completely FREAKING ME OUT. This is happening to different degrees to two of these same light fixtures in our house. My dad (who is a general contractor) and Justin have both pulled different lights and can't seem to find anything obviously wrong--no arcs, no weird wiring, correct wattage bulbs. Some research online has given us an idea of what's up, but J will have to call an electrician buddy today to verify, and I've been given instructions to basically not use these lights today, which is awesome. And I'm sure that's going to be a fun expense.

-So, you all know that Bones is my favorite TV show, right? Well, this season, one of the story lines is about one of the main characters finding out that he has a very advanced and often deadly form of cancer--Ewing's sarcoma. I seriously can't handle this storyline right now. I'm having to read recaps before I can watch the show. See, the weird form of skin cancer that I had about two years ago was a sarcoma. I know that there are probably hundreds (thousands?) of forms of sarcomas, but I also have my two-year follow up for my skin cancer thing this Wednesday, and I always get really, really anxious before any of my dermatologist appointments because I really just don't want to deal with that again, not to mention the fact that I'm pretty sure that the medical costs would bankrupt us. We're still recovering from the financial repercussions of last time. I'd honestly rather bury my head in the sand and forget that there is even such a thing as a sarcoma right now, but that's been hard to do. I know it is nothing compared to the grief that the family members are going through, but the two deaths we've experienced this weekend have been especially hard for me in light of all this as well. I just want to pretend for the next three days that there's no such thing as sarcoma, that there's no such thing as death, and that everything is just puppies and rainbows and ice cream. And I definitely can't handle the storyline of crazy-deadly cancer growing under someone's skin for years and years before anyone had any idea until it was way too late right now. Hello, one of my worst fears.

So, there's good. Lots of good. There's also a bit  that's making me crazy-anxious and borderline hysterical, and means that I want to eat ALL THE CHOCOLATE. Wooosah.