Snippety do dah...

-Justin and I re-started Insanity. We get up at 5am most days to do it before J goes to work (Thursdays will be even earlier). It's both ROUGH and awesome. Trying to push through the 1st week. But right now? It's not even 8am and I could fall asleep standing up.

-With our current living room arrangement, our backs are to the hallway. Well, recently I've noticed that Lizzy is talking about different TV shows or movies...that we watched well after we put her to bed. And I'm not okay with that. The only othet feasible living room arrangement that would prevent her from being able to see the TV from the hallway would involve a sectional....which I REALLY want to do for 1000 reasons,  including that a lighter colored couch could help the living room from feeling so cavernous,  but I also really do not want to spend the money for. I wish sectionals fell from the sky!

-I haven't been able to stomach milk or yogurt since Becca was born. I've never been a big milk person, but I used to love yogurt. I think milk (but not cheese?) bothers Becca, so maybe it is my body's way of working that out. Anyway, I tried almond milk this AM anf it is awesome. 

-Now that Becca is napping for (slightly) longer chunks during the day, we're trying to do school time for Lizzy again. She's got letters and their sounds down, so now I need to start focusing on time--days of the week, months, etc. I want to make some sort of felt board or something but am totally overwhelmed by the possibilities. So I've done nothing, ha!

-I think Becca is teething? At three months?!?

-I meant to add some photos to this, but if I don't get up now, I'll fall asleep for sure. So....sorry. I know, posts without pictures suck.

Now....to figure out how to shower before swim lessons today...

Letter to Becca: Two Months

Becca,

You are smiling! And laughing! This month, you really started interacting with us, and it is just so much fun to watch you grin when your dad gets home from work, or watch you track your sister as she runs around the room. I sort of feel like you went from a newborn to a four month old (and I think you look a lot like your sister did at about that age)--you're already trying your hand at tripod sitting and rolling over. I think we may have another early walker on our hands. 

 We went to the doctor this month, and you weigh 12 pounds! I don't remember when Lizzy hit that point, but I feel like it was MUCH later, like maybe 7 or 8 months! I'm thankful that you've been much more interested in nursing than your sister is. There are still some days (and nights!) that you want to eat every hour, but for the most part, we've settled into a more predicable 3-4 hour schedule.

You are a total snuggle bug, sweet girl. You really would prefer to be hold 24/7, and especially for naps. We've been babywearing a lot more than I ever wore Lizzy at this point, and are still figuring out which sort of carrier works best for you and me. 

Love you a bushel and a peck (and a hug around your neck), 

Mom

On Video Killed the Radio Star & Other Things

I kind of wanted to title this post "Instagram killed the Blogging Star", but worried that like Jennifer Lawrence's quip about Meryl Streep at the Golden Globes, the pop culture reference would be lost on many, and then y'all would think I'm too big for my britches.

But really, it has kind of killed my blogging. I'm finding that things I would've blogged about before, like the hilarious story of trying to teach Lizzy how to pedal a bike yesterday....I've already shared on Instagram, at least partially.

And on one hand, I LOVE Instagram. Because it's easier. It always comes with a photo, which I love. And most of all, it's faster. And when your house looks like this...

...and your toddler doesn't nap anymore, and your baby eats every 2 hours, and your husband has worked 6 out of the last 7 days and will work 6 out of the next 7, and you just took your first shower in four days, and you haven't managed to eat your food or drink your coffee while it was still warm in a week, and you haven't even watched Bones (and you KNOW it's bad if I haven't even managed to watch the ballroom dancing episode on my DVR yet)....well, faster is better.

And I love Instagram for that. I love that I'm still able to know what's going on in your lives even if I only have 5 minutes to spare. I love seeing your photos, because photos straight up speak to my soul. Instagram is amazing for that.

But, as the type of person who learns by writing, I also tend to process by writing. I write my prayers in a prayer journal. I still fire off long missives to my college roommates Lisa and Sara on a semi-regular basis, especially if I'm trying to work through something. I crave that writing at times, and I hate not being able to do it on the regular, if only for my own sanity.

I think I quipped to Leah a few weeks ago that with Instagram, it's like texting every day with a friend versus the meeting for a two-hour dinner once every few months that is the blogging world. I'm not sure which is better. Sometimes, the quantity brings about a different type of closeness. Sometimes, it's more important to have that quality. I don't know that one is better than the other--they're just different. And that's okay.

And if you're on Instagram and we haven't connected yet? Let's do. Because in this season? It's about all you're getting ;)

Lizzy: Making Target Customers Laugh since 2010.

 

 Sweet Lizzy--This past Thursday, you turned THREE. I can hardly believe it. In some ways, it seems like just yesterday that you were born, and in other ways sometimes it feels like you must be at least five already! Lately, you've been saying and doing some of the most hilarious things, and I've been making an effort to write them down so that I won't forget. Here's just a few from this past month:

(in the Target bathroom)

Lizzy: I'm so cold. I want to take off my sweatshirt.

Me: Do you mean that you're warm?

L: That's what I said, Mom!

Me: Well, you may not take off your sweatshirt because it is winter. It's snowing outside, and you're only wearing a tank top under your sweatshirt.

L: THAT IS A SAD CHOICE YOU ARE MAKING.

(the lady in the stall next to us begins to laugh)

Me: I'm sorry you think that. In the summer, you may wear tank tops.

L: When I am older, I WILL SHOW MY ARMPITS IN THE WINTER. It will be my choice!

(Another lady begin laughing quietly)

Me: Yes, when you're older, you can make that choice.

L: And I will tell my children to wear tank tops in the winter.

Me: Oh really?

Lizzy sighs heavily, like I just don't have a clue, and then replies, "No mom! My children can not make that choice, 'cause then they would get cold and sick!"

(At this point, there were at least five ladies totally cracking up in the Target bathroom). 

Lizzy: Mom, I decided last month not to get married. It is not my choice.

(five minutes later)

Lizzy: Actually. I decided to marry Leah's father next week if he has some time off work. He is a nice guy, but he will have to ask my Uncle Ryan first.

{Leah is Lizzy's imaginary friend, FYI}

Lizzy: I can't find my pink hairtie. The fairies took it to pink hairtie heaven!

(upon opening a present wrapped in a pullups box on Christmas)

Lizzy: How did you know that I have wanted Dora pullups FOR MY WHOLE LIFE?!

Lizzy: If I mess up my beautiful hair, that would be very dangerous to me. It is NOT OKAY. 

(upon walking into the bedroom while I was changing)

Lizzy: Oh mom! I just love your new boobs! They are perfect and awesome!

Edited to add--I just realized that these photos make perfect sense to me
 to go along with this birthday-ish post, but may not make one bit of sense to anyone else--
so, by way of explanation, we gave Lizzy swimming lessons, a new suit, and goggles for her birthday!

The Next Two Days

This week was probably poor planning on my part. Lizzy and Becca both have well-baby checks in back-to-back appointments tomorrow. Then, my follow-up appointment with the dermatologist to have that thingie on my arm removed is on Friday.

I don't know if you've picked up on it, but I have a hard time with doctors. I'm a bit of a hypochondriac, and sometimes (often) worry about all that could potentially be wrong with me. With Justin. With Lizzy. With Becca. I notice the minor skin discoloration near Becca's knee that's been there since she was born. I notice the spot on Lizzy's chest that's healed with a slightly different skin texture after she fell onto the corner of a wooden step-stool. Maybe it's just a scar. I notice that Justin's been tired a lot more than normal lately, and that his cough is still a little junky, even after antibiotics. I notice the little spot on my arm that I always end up scratching in my sleep and hasn't quite healed in a couple of months (the one being removed on Friday). On occasion, that worrying has served me well. But in general, the worries pan out to be nothing. Which is fine. I'm all about listening to your body and your gut feelings, but I could also stand to refrain from assuming that someone is dying until a concern is actually raised by someone other than Dr. Google. And as of yet? No concerns have been raised, so I probably need to chill.

But as always, I've got some anxiety leading up to these doctors appointments, and it's three-times worse than normal, because it's three appointments in two days. Rapid succession. So tonight, I dug into the James Bible Study that I've re-started. I picked up Jesus Calling, after accidentally first picking up another devotional that's the same color. And it's one of those days where instead of scripture making me feel better, it's kinda making me freak out even more

I mean, the James study begins, "Consider it great joy, my brothers, whenever you experience various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance." 

The Faith Alone devotional by Martin Luther begins with saying that we're "temporary residents". I read tomorrow's devotion in hopes that it was a little more comforting, but it says, "But in the middle of trials and conflicts, it's difficult to call out to God, and it takes a lot of effort to cling to God's Word."

Oh, I'm not done yet. Jesus Calling? "With my help, you can overcome any obstacle." I read tomorrow's entry for that one too, again, hoping for something else. And guess what it says? "Every time you affirm your trust in me, you put a coin into my treasury. Thus, you build up equity in preparation for days of trouble." 

And because I'm apparently not getting the message thus far, I just now opened up my Bible to a random spot. I landed somewhere in 1 Peter 2. The heading? "The conduct of God's people in the midst of suffering."

Trials. Suffering. Conflicts. Days of Trouble. Suffering. I'm sensing a distinct theme here, I don't like it very much, God. It's kind of freaking me out, to be honest.
................................................... There's really no happy conclusion to this one (yet). I'm still battling the worries and anxiety. I just needed to get it all out on "paper", because sometimes then I can let it go a little. And I'd love your prayers in the morning if you happen to think of us. Appointments start tomorrow at 9:30am, West Coast time. 

Wednesday Snippets.

-It's not even 8am and we've already had eight time outs. And I've cleaned up cat poop. And I'm now out of coffee creamer. Good thing there was enough for one cup...and that I've got a gift certificate to stop and get a latte later on. It's gonna be a day, I can tell. I'm hoping that Lizzy isn't getting sick--because she smells different to me. Is that crazy? Crossing my fingers that it's just that she fell asleep in the car on our way home last night and hadn't had her hair shampooed yet after swim lessons. She doesn't SEEM sick so far...girl can dream, right?

-We're starting what will hopefully become a tradition of Wednesday night budget meetings tonight. I need to remember to try and put a haircut in there somewhere. I want this:

Source: ne-yo0.blogspot.com via Meredith on Pinterest

My hair is super thick,and has a tendency to get really weighty and BLAH. I'd LOVE something with a little more movement.

-I have another dermatologist appointment on Friday afternoon. Unfortunately, there was something she wanted to remove last time. She said she thinks it's probably a basal cell whatever-it-is, which is certainly better than the DFSP or possible melanoma of the past. It's on the left side of my body, so it probably is SOMETHING. No joke--everything on the left side of my body has been bad news. Now that I think about it, when I had to have my appendix out, it was even on my left side instead of my right. Everything on my right side? Totally fine. It's giving me a complex. Anyway...I'm hoping that it *is* just a basal cell and not anything weird. Sigh.

-Becca is rolling over. Sometimes. Mostly when I lay her on her belly on the floor and walk out of the room...of course!

-Lately, when Lizzy is mad at me, she yells, "YOU. ARE NOT. MY. SAVIOR!" She is totally serious, and I have to try not to laugh every time. It cracks me up, because I know she's trying to say something inflammatory and "naughty", but she's actually totally right!

-Last Thursday, we went to the library for the first time since Becca was born...and the books are all still sitting in the car. Mom fail.

2013 Bucket List

Like many people, I don't really do New Year's Resolutions. Of course, I think ahead to the next year and dream of different things that I'd like to do, see, buy, accomplish, and so on...but that's mostly just wishing and hoping and thinking and praying. Planning and dreaming (sing it with me). They just don't really fit the definition of a resolution--a firm decision to do, or not to do something.

They're a bucket list for the year, basically. Things I hope we do as a family, things that I'll try to make happen, because only good can come of them. But, if they don't happen for whatever reason, it's not the end of the world. We're not going to pack into the car at 8am on New Year's Eve 2013 and drive to the Oregon Coast just to take it off the list. But, trying to earmark some money for that as we do our budgets? You betcha.

These aren't "offical"--Justin is reading them for the first time along with you all (hi babe!), but I'd venture to guess that while his list might also include things like "Hit a home run every game" or "Brew lots of beer", a lot of the core items will probably be similar. So without further adieu...my 2013 Bucket List:

{I bought a heart rate monitor just this weekend, so that one can be crossed off the list! It's pretty awesomely motivating to see that Insanity Cardio Abs + Jillian's Kickboxing burns 472 calories in about 40 minutes!}

Friday Confessions

- Lizzy's birthday party is Sunday. I've still yet to do ANY shopping, either for her birthday present or for the party.

-Lizzy hasn't been napping anymore. I've been trying to enforce quiet time in her room, but when I do, she spends half the time destroying her bedroom and half the time yelling, "MOM? MOM! MOM? IS QUIET TIME OVER YET?!" Dude, the alarm clock is in your bedroom, you will know when quiet time is over. It's almost not worth the effort.

-Costco now carries tall yoga pants!!! They had all different colors, and I seriously wanted to buy like 5 pairs, but they only had one single solitary pair in my size. Sad day. Maybe that's for the best, to encourage me to actually get dressed. But see, it's a toss up between being encouraged to work out, and actually being able to workout right then if the opportunity presents itself versus getting dressed, which is also good for my sanity in a different way. But none of this is the confession part--the confession is that Costco makes a big deal about these yoga pants being reversible...and I just don't understand the appeal. Yay! I can wear my pants inside out!

- I don't totally understand the paleo eating craze. I'm not 100% sold on it (for us, at least) for a wide variety of reasons, one of which being that I feel like it is really difficult for most people to sustain long-term. Personally, I tend to subscribe more to Michael Pollan's food perspective, which is basically: Eat real food, not too much, mostly plants. That said, while we will probably never do it, I have lots of friends both online and in real life who are now eating paleo. They are all smart, wonderful people whom I love and respect a lot, and I'm so happy that they are striving to make healthy lifestyle choices for their families regardless of the method--whatever works, you know?

-Since Becca was born, I've totally fallen off the quiet time/Bible Study wagon. I'm trying desperately to get back on not because I feel like I'm supposed to, but because I feel like I function better when I start my days off that way. I'm just REALLY struggling to get us into any sort of routine, mainly because Becca is still kind of eating and sleeping at will, and often a bit unpredictably. It's a season, it's a season, it's a season.

What about y'all? Any Friday confessions? 

Today

 Today, I am {thankful} that this girl slept from midnight to 4am last night. 

I'm pretty sure my love language is now sleep.

I am {excited} to try and get back into the routine of cooking dinner again. Since Becca was born, we've eaten out a TON, or if we have eaten at home, it's tended to be things like canned soup, or frozen stuff. In the past couple of weeks, we've had a couple EXCELLENT home cooked meals, like grilled chicken tacos and the red wine braised short ribs you see above. I'm ready to ease back into the routine of cooking at home, even if it means we don't eat until 8pm because I had to wait for Justin to get home to start cooking.

I am {frustrated} that we haven't been able to visit a friend who is recuperating from major surgery. I feel like any time we're prepared to go, one of us is suddenly sniffling or not feeling well, and I just do NOT want to give her those germs! I wanted to try and visit her this morning, but Lizzy woke up saying, "I have the snorts again." In other words, her nose is running and she has the sniffles.

I am {loving} starting my mornings with a little whipped cream and peppermint sprinkles on my coffee. Makes getting up just a little bit easier, you know? 

I am {longing} for our house to be clean and all the Christmas decor to be down. We seriously NEED to clean this week in preparation for Lizzy's birthday party this Sunday. Justin and I are seriously talking about devoting $10 or $20 to the task and assigning dollar amounts to all the chores that we both hate to do--whoever does them first gets the cash. It would just be kind of a fun competition to get the house clean and have a little extra "fun money" to boot. 

I am {missing} this guy, who is back at work today. 

So thankful for the few extra days he had off these past few weeks.

I am {nervous} about my dermatologist appointment tomorrow. It's just a follow-up, not for anything specific, and I am praying hardcore that she finds nothing she wants to remove.