Thursday, June 10, 2010


- Lizzy and I start a Mommy & Me swim class today. If we like it, it's only $30/ month for two lessons a week. Not bad at all, AND being in a bathing suit twice a week gives me serious motivation to keep exercising :)

-My photo shoot got rescheduled. Boo. I swear, any time I even mention a photo shoot on the blog, something happens that prevents it from happening!

-I HATE Justin's stupid iPhone right now. Actually, I hate the stupid sudoku puzzles on his stupid iPhone right now. We go out to dinner? Justin is playing Sudoku. Go to my parents or his parents house? Justin is playing sudoku. Go to visit friends? Justin is playing sudoku. When he's holding Lizzy? Justin is playing Sudoku. Try to go on a date? Justin tries to sneak in playing Sudoku when he thinks I'm not looking. I get that he works hard and needs a chance to relax by doing something that he enjoys...the problem is that once he starts playing sudoku, it's like a compulsion, and he CANNOT STOP. He literally plays for hours on end.

-Does anyone with Netflix know if Top Chef is one of the TV shows you can watch on demand? We no longer have Bravo, and with a new season about to start, I really miss Top Chef! I've been considering Netflix for awhile now, and I'm wondering if that would push us over.

- Blair (of Heir to Blair) recently posted about an article written by Rabbi Shmuley Boteach (of Shalom in the Home), which basically suggested that women should be cautious about breastfeeding their children around their husbands:

In the end, there are two effects of breast-feeding that we often refuse to acknowledge. One is the de-eroticization of a woman's body, as her husband witnesses one of the most attractive parts of her body serving a utilitarian rather than romantic purpose. This is not to say that breast-feeding isn't sexy. Indeed, the maternal dimension is a central part of womanliness. But public breast-feeding is profoundly de-eroticizing, and I believe that wives should cover up, even when they nurse their babies in their husband's presence.

He also suggests that husbands should not watch the actual birth of their children:

But I strongly agree with the advice of the ancient rabbis that husbands should not be staring at the actual delivery. That is just too erotic a part of a wife's anatomy for it to become a mere birth canal.

And lastly:

The erotic nature of a wife's body is one of the principal elements of attraction in marriage. When a husband ceases to see his wife as a woman, and begins to see her as "the mother of his children," a negative trend has begun in his mind that can only subvert his erotic interest.

Okay, I understand the underlying point of the article, which was that with kids, it's important to nurture your marriage. But other than that, I really think the article is incredibly misguided, and kind of offensive. And am I the only one who thinks that if the success of your marriage is so dependent on the wife's body being considered erotic, you've got deeper issues at hand?

ETA: This is apparently an old article from 2006. New to me though. The Rabbi has written a follow-up (I think his Twitter and email were blown up over the weekend), which you can find here, though it honestly didn't change my opinion much.


  1. Top Chef is on Netflix, but it's past seasons, and it's not watch instantly.. :( We love Top Chefs, too!

  2. My husband's itouch game of choice is Angry Birds. It is addicting, but really fun.

    It gives him something to do when I'm reading blogs.

  3. I am SO angry about that old article, but the "updated" response to the previous "response" is just as ridiculous.

    More than the de-eroticization what appalled me was that he told an 11 mo old's mother that she was obsessive about breastfeeding and that it was a sinful relationship!

  4. I was so upset about that article. Why shouldn't a husband witness his wife doing the most incredible thing? Birthing a child? It was a life changer for both of us, and something we will never forget!

  5. Whoa. That's hugely offensive. I mean, I get it. Keep the fires stoked in our marriages. And we all have those intentions. But we can be sexy wives AND the mother of their children. And a man that can't handle that? He's got issues.

  6. Angry Birds? The name of that game makes me laugh. Being that I'm not a mom or will ever be in that child bearing situation, I don't really feel I can weigh in on this debate but those are some interesting ideas that he's throwing out there especially for a rabbi.

  7. What can you expect from a dude who writes something as paternalist as "the maternal dimension is a central part of womanliness"? That's the most offensive part to me--the underlying assumption that a woman's proper role is as a mother.

  8. Mere ...
    hmmm, the quotes from the article by the rabbi certainly have me thinking. there was definitely a time when i would have found his words patently offensive; interestingly, they aren't so much now.

    do i think that a woman should "hide" breastfeeding so as not to de-arouse (a word?!) her hubby? no. but do i think there is some validity in his words? yes. and, when i separate my emotional response to his words from my honest evaluation (do his words have merit?)i think that there is a likelihood that for some men (most?) - if asked - would concede that breastfeeding does diminish viewing breasts in the same, sensual way. good or bad, that may be real for many men. so what do we, as women and mother's, do about it? perhaps, nothing. but it's interesting to think about.

  9. I cAll that being an iPhone widow. My husband was the same way when he got his and shamefully I am the same way with mine.

  10. I took Lovie swimming a couple weeks ago and she did SO well... I kind of wish we could do the class thing, too; I'm sure she'd love it. Enjoy!

  11. I think that line is just stupid: it's soooo sexist that it makes me furious and second, if a man feels that way after his wife gives birth he is really inmature and you should leave him.


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