Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Wedded Wednesday

Wedded Wednesday is a collaboration
of married bloggers sharing their inspirations,
anecdotes, struggles and thoughts regarding
the amazing union of two separate people, as one.
Find other Wedded Wednesday bloggers at Marital-Bless.

Taken from The Love Dare, based off the movie Fireproof

"Day 3- Love is not selfish.

We live in a world that is enamored with "self". The culture around us teaches us to focus on our appearance, feelings, and personal desires as the top priority. The goal, it seems, is to chase the highest level of happiness possible. The danger from this kind of thinking, however, becomes painfully apparent once inside a marriage relationship.

If there were ever a word that basically means the opposite of love, it is selfishness. Unfortunately, it is something that is ingrained into every person from birth. You can see it in the way young children act, and often in the way adults mistreat one another. Almost every sinful action committed can be traced back to a selfish motive. It is a trait we hate in other people, but justify in ourselves. Yet, you cannot point out all the ways your spouse is selfish without admitting that you are selfish too. That would be hypocritical....

When a husband puts his interests, desires, and priorities in front of his wife, that's a sign of selfishness. When a wife constantly complains about the time and energy she spends meeting the needs of her husband, that's a sign of selfishness...You cant be acting out of real love and selfishness at the same time. Choosing to love your mate will cause you to say "no" to what you want so you can say "yes" to what they need. That's putting the happiness of your partner above your own...When you relinquish your rights for the sake of your mate, you get a chance to lose yourself to the greater purpose of marriage.

Whether you like it or not, you have a reputation in the eyes of those around you, especially in the eyes of your spouse. But is it a loving reputation? Remember, your marriage partner also has the challenge of loving a selfish person. So determine to be the first to demonstrate real love to them..."Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves" (Philippians 2:3).

Today's dare: Whatever you put your time, energy, and money into will become more important to you. It's hard to care for something you are not investing in. Along with restraining from negative comments, buy your spouse something that says 'I was thinking of you today.'"


  1. Thanks for that post. It was just what I needed today and since I'm off work early, I think I might go get Mattie something to let him know I love him.

  2. great post! The husband and I did a study on the love dare this past spring but it's definitely full of thoughts that I like to revisit! Hmmmm...wonder what I should buy the hubby!

  3. This is a great post! It really gave me some things to think about.

    My hubby's been working an awful lot this week (70+ hours) and he deserves to know he's loved, cared about and appreciated. He is more of a actions speak louder than words kinda guy, so I can tell him I appreciate him all I want and I know he will believe me, but getting him something to prove it will be even better.


    P.S. Yes 70+ hours a week means overtime, which is a plus! He is salaried, but where he works, if you work over 48 hours then you get time & 1/2 for anything over 40 hours.... It's a big confusing, but it's super nice!

  4. I love the concept of the love dare, even if you aren't having problems in your marriage, because we all need reminders of how to love someone else because we are the furthest thing from perfect. But it was great to read this, today also, because it made me think of how selfish I've been with a friend of mine, and even if she might be wrong, that I still am called to love her and everyone for that I think I'll go do something special for her and the hubby. thanks for the great post:)


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