Wednesday, October 1, 2008


So, we went to see Fireproof last night, and all our friends and family were right--it is a great movie. Before going to see it, I didn't realize that there IS actually a book called "The Love Dare", which is basically a 40 day journey to loving your spouse in the way that God loves us. It's available online here and has some great sample days online.

Forgive me for the long quote I'm about to post, but I think it's valuable. Again, I claim no rights to this piece:

"If you don’t learn to be thoughtful, you end up regretting missed opportunities to demonstrate love. Thoughtlessness is a silent enemy to a loving relationship.

Let’s be honest. Men struggle with thoughtfulness more than women. A man can focus like a laser on one thing and forget the rest of the world. Whereas this can benefit him in that one arena, it can make him overlook other things that need his attention.

A woman, on the other hand, is more multi-conscious, able to maintain an amazing awareness of many factors at once. She can talk on the phone, cook, know where the kids are in the house, and wonder why her husband isn’t helping . . . all simultaneously. Adding to this, a woman also thinks relationally. When she works on something, she is cognizant of all the people who are somehow connected to it.

Both of these tendencies are examples of how God designed women to complete their men. As God said at creation, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him” (Genesis 2:18). But these differences also create opportunities for misunderstanding.

Men, for example, tend to think in headlines and say exactly what they mean. Not much is needed to understand the message. His words are more literal and shouldn’t be overanalyzed. But women think and speak between the lines. They tend to hint. A man often has to listen for what is implied if he wants to get the full meaning.

If a couple doesn’t understand this about one another, the fallout can result in endless disagreements. He’s frustrated wondering why she speaks in riddles and doesn’t just come out and say things. She’s frustrated wondering why he’s so inconsiderate and doesn’t add two and two together and just figure it out."

The dare for the corresponding day is, "Contact your spouse sometime during the business of the day. Have no agenda other than asking how he or she is doing and if there is anything you could do for them. "

Simple, right? But I do believe that intentionally doing small things in this way, and for a different motivation than we usually do them could be valuable to the marriage. Anyway, I love the principle behind this book, I just struggle a bit with it being "movie hype". But then again, I don't have problems buying other books before or after I see the corresponding movie, so I certainly shouldn't have a problem buying one that could be so wonderful for our marriage.

Blessings on your day!

1 comment:

  1. I've never even heard of Fireproof, except for your blog. I'm intrigued. Thanks for sharing the information!


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