Christmas Cheer

Well, I hope that everyone had a fantastic Christmas! Here are a couple of pictures from my side of the Christmas Bonanza...I have no pictures from Justin's side because they never have any lights on in the house, and all the pictures consequently look terrible.

My sister and I. At a later date, you'll see just how far I have to scrunch down to be shorter than she is!

My sister, J, and I. Kevin was also in this picture, but I cropped him out because he was a punk and had already changed out of his dress clothes. Mossy Oak sweats and an Old Spice T just don't belong in a dressy-clothes picture.

Here I am, slightly inebriated after a few Huckletinis and other various drinks. I was happy, and enjoying my buzz until my little brother decided it would be fun to tackle me because I was apparently in his "spot". My varsity linebacker brother. Yeah.

Justin trying his first "Arrogant Bastard Ale".

Overall, Christmas was lovely. Many of the presents we received this year were handmade, which I usually like more than store-bought anyway. For example, Renee gave me a huge bucket of homemade things, including awesome monogrammed dishtowels and a scarf/hat combo. Kev gave us a wine stopper that he made in woodshop. My parents gave me some photography equipment, as they know that I'll be getting a DSLR camera in February or so. I hope that I have it in time to take some family pictures for Ryan and Renee. I really want to do those for them with the nice digital rather than the film. It's probably too cold to do them outside, but I've been tossing around the idea of having them come to our house and doing them on our bed.

Our bedroom already has the best natural light, and one of the things my parents gave me for Christmas was a photography light reflector. I think we could get some really fun ones.

Anyway...J is still sleeping, even though he's supposed to be going with me to the gym. Why? Because he was up all night playing Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe, which he received from my parents. Yay Justin.

Blast From The Past....

Tonight, Justin and I went to a Christmas Program for one of our nieces--she was a present in the Christmas play. The program was not in the town that we live or work in, nor was it in the city that I grew up in, so I wasn't expecting to see anyone that I knew, and just threw on ratty jeans and an old sweatshirt to go.

Much to my surprise, I saw at least 15 people that I knew, including the boy that I had the BIGGEST crush on through pretty much all of middle school and high school. His name was Matt Martin, and I used to love to think about how we could get married and we'd be Matt and Meredith Martin, and have all sorts of babies who also had names that started with the letter M. His whole family went to my church (we actually went through Confirmation together), and I absolutely adored his mother.

I didn't say anything when I saw him at first because a) he definitely knew that I had a crush on him in high school/middle school, and it was NOT reciprocated (I distinctly recall one particular youth group meeting where I'm sure I was swooning all over him, and he actually turned to me and said, "Meredith, you don't have to sit so close to me. There's a whole bench open." Doh.), and I didn't want to seem all stalkerish; b) I was pretty geeky in middle school and the first couple years of high school. We're talking permed bangs (and the bangs were the only things permed), braces, and sports player who wore sweats everywhere, and I honestly wasn't sure that he'd even recognize me; and c) I was a bit in shock that he was now over 7 feet tall and looked like he was 30.

So, I didn't say anything to him, but I did point him out to Justin, since he's heard some pretty funny first crush stories about the guy. Including the fact that the reason Matt and I never dated in middle school or high school was a pretty hilarious love-rectangle. See, Matt had a friend named Jason. I had a friend named Sara. Jason liked Me, I liked Matt, Matt liked Sara, and Sara liked Jason. Still with me? Gotta love high school.

Anyway, after the program was over, much to my surprise, Matt came over and said hello, that it was good to see me, and asked how I've been. He was very kind, and looked genuinely happy to see me. I introduced him to Justin, and then he took me over to say hi to his mom and introduced me to his nephews (I knew his brother as well growing up). It was such a weird mix of emotions--first an foremost, I was just so absolutely thankful for my wonderful husband, and that he's the one who I ended up with. My husband is so wonderful that he even shook the guy's hand and made small talk with him, knowing that this guy was definitely my first real all-consuming CRUSH, if not a bit of unrequited love (though looking back, I don't think I'd classify it as love anymore). And he wasn't even the slightest bit jealous or possessive about it.

But at the same time, it was weird because talking to Matt almost reverted me back to a giddy 14 year old again--I was having trouble forming sentences--which was definitely a weird emotion. I felt slightly guilty about it (J just laughed when I told him), but I do realize that it was probably because I always felt so awkward around the guy--it's hard not to revert back to that now. It really did make me appreciate how comfortable I feel and have always felt around Justin!

I have a feeling....

That today is going to drrrraaaaaggggggg. I just have to get through today, and I have 6 days off work. Then I go back for two and have another off for New Year's Day. But in the meantime, I have absolutely nothing to do today. Which is how I know that the day is going to drag on and on.

In protest, I don't think I'm going to shower today. My hair still looks relatively okay and I don't smell. Ha.

Sunday Song

Life and Love and Why by Switchfoot

In high school and college, I used to LOVE Switchfoot. I've seen them twice, and they were pretty great live both times, which is a MUST for me when it comes to music. That said, I haven't ever really gotten into any of their new stuff. But this song is still one of my favorites, and it's been running through my head a lot lately. It's a song that I tend to listen to whenever I'm feeling a little down, and it gives me hope.

Things have felt a little weird with Justin's family lately. I really noticed it yesterday when everyone was together. It's almost like there's this deep underlying tension running through everyone. People were pretty snippy towards each other. Justin and I both commented on it yesterday. That, and that things seem to be very...superficial. We both used to have deep, meaningful conversations with various members of Justin's family, but lately the conversations seem to revolve around the weather and 'how the house is doing'. Maybe it's just that we haven't been out there lately. I don't know that we had seen Ryan and Renee since the weekend after Thanksgiving, which may be a record, and we hadn't really seen Justin's parents in a couple of weeks either. Usually, we see them both every week if not more frequently. Or maybe something else is going on, but things just seem weird. Like there's an elephant in the room that people are tip-toeing around.

So anyway, I felt like I needed a hopeful song.

Weekend In Pictures

Justin's side of the family all got together over the weekend to celebrate three of the many December birthdays. Afterwords, we decided to play in the snow that had accumulated on the driveway.

The gnarly trees. This was early on in the day before the snow really started to fall...

Renee and I watching the kids sled.

Logan

Safety First! You'll see why later...from L to R, you've got Justin, James, Justin aka "Stump", and Ryan. Only my Justin and Ryan are actually in the family, but I wouldn't be surprised if the other two eventually are, as they're both dating the sisters. And guess what, James and Stump are cousins! That's how redneck we are!

This is my favorite picture of Payton...not exactly sure what's going on, but isn't this priceless?

Hubs and I

The girls were being sweet for a second.

Hubs sledding on the inner tube.

Logan showing off his new "choo-choo".

Baby, it's cold outside!

Okay, now here's why safety first is important with these guys. The day after Christmas a few years ago, I spent much time in the ER with Justin getting his head stapled shut after a sledding accident from a sled that they made from the back of an RV. In fact, that was probably my first bonding session with Renee. Anyway, yesterday the boys decided to make another sled. There weren't any big accidents...looks fun!

Confession--Edited

This is the only piece of Christmas decor up in our house. Nope, we don't even have our tree up. And honestly, I'm okay with that. If it makes it up, that's nice. If it doesn't, that's okay too. Justin has been so sick for so long that I'm just not going to push the issue--especially since a tree isn't that important to me anyway. I'm allergic to Christmas trees, so I don't really have any positive memories of them growing up. I just remember a lot of coughing. Sure, I enjoyed putting up ornaments to some extent, but it wasn't an activity that I actively looked forward to.

I'd much rather spend my evenings going to Dairy Queen and trying to talk them into adding chunks of chocolate into their Peppermint Blizzard.

LOL...and with THAT, I've been tagged by sweet Emily to share about my Christmas Traditions.

1. For the past 10+ years, my whole family gets together for a fancy dinner at a VERY fancy restaurant on Christmas Eve. I always look forward to it because we're all dressed to the nines, the food is GREAT, and it's the one time that we really go all out--apps, drinks, dinner, AND dessert. For that one night, everyone on my dad's side of the family plays nice.

2. We used to participate in the "German Pickle Tradition" growing up.

Legend says that the pickle, a symbol of good luck, was the last ornament to be placed on the tree. The first child to find the pickle on Christmas morning was rewarded with an extra gift left by St. Nicholas.The tradition encourages children to appreciate all of the beautiful ornaments on the tree, rather than rushing first to the presents that Santa has left them.

3. Justin's family loves to drink Eggnog with SPRITE in it on Christmas (how weird is that?!).

4. Much to Justin's dismay, if we have a Christmas tree, it has to be fake. They used to go out in the woods and cut their own.

5. Now, our Christmases look like this: Christmas Eve Dinner with my family, spend the night at my parents' house and open gifts early in the morning. We jet back over to our house to shower and exchange gifts to each other, then we head over to Justin's family and have Christmas Dinner with them. Usually, J has to work the next day, so we end up jetting home kind of early.

Now, I want to hear about YOUR traditions. Here's the deal, I'll tag you and link to your blog. Copy and paste the above image into your own blog, and then lather, rinse, repeat!

I'm tagging: Laura, Kait, Lisa, and Chelsie.

Interesting.

So, today I was talking with this lady that I supervise about an 18 month old. She didn't understand why she actually had to go do a face-to-face visit with the 18-month old, and said that she wouldn't learn anything that the mom couldn't tell her. Okay, well other than the fact that it's your JOB, and BY LAW, you have to visit her at least once a month, it's an opportunity to see what this girl's personality is like. The woman I was talking with is in her 50's, and has 4 kids of her own. She asked me what she was supposed to do with the girl when she visits. She said, "Well, it isn't like she has a personality or can talk yet. What am I supposed to do with her?"

Um, I don't have kids of my own yet, but by 18 months, they definitely have a personality, even if they aren't doing much speaking yet. That's like THE time that they begin to really develop their personality. How could she NOT know this after having 4 kids? I won't even address the fact that she didn't know what to do with the child when she was visiting. She was like, "Well, what if she doesn't want to play with me? Am I supposed to just watch her play?" Um, yes. Yes you are.

The other day, I was browsing MySpace, and was SHOCKED at how many people my age (and younger) already have babies. One girl that I knew growing up is 2+ years younger than I am (putting her at about 20), and she just gave birth to her SECOND baby. It was just kind of a crazy eye-opener for me because I still feel way too young and immature to have kids. And not to sound conceited here, but I am probably WAY more mature than most of these girls that I went to high school with.

Anyways, the whole point of this is that I don't know if it's just that I'm scared of being pregnant because it's something that I will have absolutely no control over, or if I'm really, genuinely not ready to have kids. I'm definitely becoming more open to the idea of having a baby--while we're not actively trying to have kids (TMI!), I would probably be pretty darn happy and excited if I were to get pregnant. Though, I would also probably freak out due to the massive financial burden called a mortgage that we just took on!

You are all forbidden to tell J about this or he'll start trying to sweet talk me into it right now. And I will probably give in because he is the master of sweet talk. Seriously. Silence, or I kill you 'til you're dead. Bonus points if you can name that quote.

Things

Ahhh...I think I'm doing pretty good with this no complaining for a week thing. I'm sure it's a much happier blog to read too! Anyway...just a few updates:

1. Kait's husband is going to be home from Iraq in less than a week! I am just so stinking excited for her! Kait is one of my best friends, and her hubby is one of J's best friends. We have this running joke that when we grow up, we're going to buy a duplex, and Kait and I will get to decorate one side and the boys (the two J's) can have the other (we haven't quite figured out sleeping arrangements yet, lol). The boys like to say that when they get old, they'll sit on the front porch in rocking chairs with shotguns on their laps, and Kait and I will be inside cooking. In all seriousness, they're one of probably three people that I could share a duplex with and not go insane. Anyway, I'm hoping that sometime in the next year, we'll have another picture of all four of us:



And not one like this (from earlier this month):

2. I finally have a hair appointment for Friday! Whoop whoop!

3. Last night, Justin coughed so hard he threw up. Poor guy. I totally know how he feels, because this is the first year that I HAVEN'T coughed like that all the time. The allergy shots are finally working, thank the Lord! Now, I just have to battle colds instead.

4. In exactly one week, I get six days off work in a row!

5. I did something really bad yesterday...I went tanning. I haven't been since we got married because I don't want skin cancer. But yesterday I was feeling bitchy, and thought "If Justin can do something that could potentially give him cancer, so can I!" Obviously, not my most mature moment. That said, it felt so wonderful. I was in such a better mood immediately than I have been in weeks, which isn't surprising since doctors are now saying that tanning can create the same high that nicotine does. I burned my butt though. Also, it got me thinking that maybe I should take Vitamin D, since during the winter I go to work when it's dark, leave when it's dark, and rarely step outside during the course of the day.

Peppermint Oreo Truffles.

Aren't they pretty? They're extremely yummy too. And extremely bad for you, which is why this batch is going to my parents/Justin's work. Here's how you can create your own peppermint/chocolate/oreo goodness. Eat dessert first, and often. Lisa, you're going to love this post because it's just FILLED with our little inside jokes.

Oreo Truffles:

1. Box Oreos
2. 1 bar cream cheese, softened.
3. 1 box Baker's semi-sweet chocolate
4. A dab of butter
5. Sprinkles/ Peppermint/ Extra Crushed Oreos to top.

First, stick the whole box of Oreos in a ziplock bag. Give it many good whacks with a rolling pin until the Oreos are in little bitty bits. Next, use a fork to combine 3 cups of the Oreo crumbles with the cream cheese. Stir and mash it up until they're well combined. You shouldn't see much white--it should be mostly gray/blackish. After that, use a spoon, your fingers, or (my favorite) a small cookie scoop to scoop little balls of the oreo mixture onto a cookie sheet lined with wax paper. Make sure to keep the bottoms as flat as possible so that they'll sit nicely on the cookie sheet. Pop the cookie sheet with the oreo balls in the freezer for about an hour or so to let those puppies firm up. DO NOT SKIP THE FREEZER STEP. Seriously, I've done it to try and save time, and it just makes a big mess.

After they've been in the freezer for at least an hour, follow the directions on the Baker's chocolate package to melt the chocolate. I usually add a small dab of butter to the melted chocolate to make it a little more smooth. Next, take one of the little oreo balls and use two forks to roll it around in the chocolate to coat. Use the fork to let any excess chocolate drain off. I usually don't worry about coating the bottom, because who sees the bottom anyway? Don't be like Meredith and attempt this chocolate-coating feat while wearing your favorite white sweats. Once it's covered in chocolate, transfer it back to the wax lined cookie sheet. Sprinkle with crushed candy canes/sprinkles/leftover oreo crumbles unless you want your truffles to look like crap--literally. Once all the oreo balls are dipped and on the cookie sheet, stick the truffles in the fridge for at least a couple of hours (I usually do all night).

Remember that these babies have cream cheese in them, so if you're giving them to other people, you should probably mention that they need to be refrigerated!

Hair...

So, I desperately need my hair to be re-highlighted. I've called in to the beauty school to try and get in either on Saturday or Christmas Eve, but I'm doubting it will actually happen. In the meantime, I thought it might be fun to review a few of the many hairstyles I've had over the past 5 years or so...I don't have any pictures from when I was younger on my computer, but I will say this...I had permed bangs. And ONLY permed bangs.

This was one of my senior pictures in high school. I dyed my hair dark the weekend of the pictures, and I think my mom was pissed because it really didn't look much like ME.

In college, I used to highlight it myself with "Frost N Glow". My hair is THICK, as you can see here.

This picture was only a couple of weeks after the one above. Looks like I did some self-highlighting again.

Then later (still in college), I went DARK again.

And then light again. You can see the thickness again here. This was after a weekend at the beach, so I hadn't flat ironed my hair like I normally do.

At some points, I embraced my natural color, which is more of a dirty dishwater blonde. I usually only like this color on me when I'm really tan. This picture was from the day before the wedding.
Just a few weeks after the wedding, in NOLA. Humidity and my hair are friends. My natural color, but after being in the sun a bit more. Once we got back from NOLA, I chopped it all off, thinking it would make me look older. I HATED it short--it took forever to "do", and I always felt frumpy.
This past winter (my hair grows fast, doesn't it! The above picture was Aug '07, this one was April '08), I went seriously blonde again.

This past August, I had them add some espresso colored low lights in. I think that I'm going to have them do this again. I liked my cut here much better than my cut now. The last girl that I had sucked, and the layers are all effed up. I think I might just let them grow out for awhile.

Sunday Song

I've decided to try and start a weekly feature here on my blog called "Sunday Song". The idea is just to profile a song that I like, the video for said song, and what I like about the song. Without further adieu, here's the first song:

American Dream by Casting Crowns


While Casting Crowns has recently become a very popular band in the Christian Music scene, they've actually been making albums for about five years--their first "official" album came out in 2003, and this song was one of the songs on it. Although it wasn't ever as popular as "Who Am I?" or "Voice of Truth", this song has truly always been one of my favorites. I've been trying to get Justin et. al. to play it either at church or when they're leading worship at the homeless shelter for YEARS. For some reason, it doesn't seem to resonate with his family as much as it does for me. The chorus goes:

So he works and he builds with his own two hands
And he pours all he has in a castle made with sand
But the wind and the rain are comin' crashing in
Time will tell just how long his kingdom stands
His kingdom stands

Personally, this song resonates for me because I have been in that place where I try to do something KNOWING in my heart that it isn't where God wants me to be or do. But it seemed lucrative--I knew that I'd make money, or have more days off work. However, looking back I can say that any time I've made decisions that have blatantly defied what I know God wants me to be doing, the path that I've ended up on is never the one that I THOUGHT I'd be on. I didn't actually make all the money that I thought I would, or there were other sacrifices that I wasn't anticipating having to make in order to make the money that I planned. In other words, I've BEEN in this place where I've been building my "castle" on the sand rather than on the rock, and it never ends well. The slightest storm can make it all come crashing down.

Saturday In Pictures

Hubs and I.

Somehow, all our sibling pictures end up looking like this.

Kevin. What can I say. He REALLY liked the footie pj's for adults at Target. Court decided to give him his Christmas present early and buy him a pair.

Justin told Kev that he'd give him $5 if he wore the footie pajamas to the movies. So Kev did. Amazingly, it was a total girl magnet. Even the college girls in front of us kept talking about how cute he was.

After that, we went out for the gluttonous delight that is bacon cheeseburger pizza for my mom's b-day!

Friday

Well, Bible Study last night was great. I think I enjoyed it more than Justin did. He's too musical, and can't enjoy music when people are singing off-pitch or have the phrasing off. I notice it too, but sometimes it's not about singing in perfect pitch. Plus, he looked like he felt terrible. My challenge for the week was to not complain about anything--whoo boy. It's gonna be a toughie.

Justin accidentally took off with my car keys this morning (we only have one set for the new car and no locksmith we've taken it to has been able to make a second). So, I'm just here chilling until he gets back. I'll probably only be a few minutes late for work. I'm not complaining about this--I really don't mind. I just wish I would have been able to stop for some coffee. But, it was an accident--no one's fault.

Tonight is Justin's company party, which should be fun. I just have a hard time deciphering the dress code sometimes--what's "club casual" anyway?

Saturday, we'll be heading to a wedding, and it's also my mom's birthday. Sunday is Justin's sister's birthday, my company party, and also our day to work at the homeless shelter. It's going to feel crazier than normal because I'm getting Justin's cold, and also because I don't have next Monday off. C'est la vie!

La Buena Vida

What is La Buena Vida? 

It isn't a mommy blog. It isn't a photography blog. It isn't a cooking blog, or a book blog. 

It's all of those things, and sometimes none of them. 

If you look back through the archives, you may see a different sort of person and blog entirely. I wasn't perfect then..and guess what? I'm still not. But I've tried to shift focus over the course of the past few years and now my little blog, La Buena Vida, is where I hope to remember that life is good, and that I'm blessed beyond measure.

If you're new here, I'm glad to have you! I'd love to tell you a few things about myself, and give you a few places to start if you'd like to learn more.

 Justin and I met in high school, dated through college, and we got married in 2007. 

He was 19 and I was 20. We were babies, but we didn't feel like it then. 

But we were, and we've done a lot of growing up with each other. 

I've been blessed to have him by my side every step of the way. 

After we got married, we moved into a little apartment. Justin worked in the trades, and I worked at a nonprofit that advocated for children in foster care. In 2008, we bought our first house.

Initially, I thought this blog was mostly going to document our updates and renovations...

But then, in the spring of 2009, we found out that we were expecting our first daughter,
which flipped our lives upside down in a really crazy and amazing way.
 While we still update and renovate on occasion, those days tend to be few and far between.

While I was pregnant, I blogged a lot about being pregnant (shocker!). In January 2010, Lizzy was born, and life has been a whirlwind ever since. In December 2011, I found out that what I'd been calling the "mystery bruise" on my back was actually a really rare and aggressively growing form of skin cancer. It was beyond scary for me, even though my dermatologist is amazing. In January 2012, I had a procedure done that hopefully removed it. I've had a few other moles removed since then, and happily all have been benign, but it's been pretty terrifying (and expensive) each and every time. Needless to say, I'm a big proponent of using sunscreen, as well as annual checks with a dermatologist!

We welcomed our second daughter, Rebecca Allison, on November 8th, 2012.

She arrived in a whirlwind, and has continued to be a whirlwind of a kid ever since. Becca and Lizzy love each other in a way that I couldn't have ever anticipated, but it is just such an amazing thing, and one of the little blessings that I try to remember when I've been up since 3am and am on my fifth cup of coffee ;)

Now, you'll find me talking a bit about everything--photography, pregnancy/postpartum stuff, being a mama and a wife. Books...lots of books! Getting back into shape after the babies are born. Trying to decorate on a budget. Making time for my faith.  Trying to walk that line between being honest and transparent here in my little corner of the internet, while also intentionally using this blog as a way to help me remember that there's so much good in this life. I don't do it perfectly...but I try.

Still have questions? Just ask! 

I'm looking for something in red...

This is like "What I Wore", but with a much less skinny model and much cheaper clothes. Anyway. I decided to test drive the red dress today because I may wear it to Justin's Company Christmas party tomorrow night. I am so not comfortable wearing the bright colored dress, and can't help but wish I'd bought the black version instead. But I'm trying to embrace a little bit of color here... I'm cool with it from the top half.

But I'm not loving the full-length shot. Mostly because it makes me feel chubby, and I'm not especially loving the cling to the mid-section aspect of it all. I may need a second pair of spanx. I feel like I look short and stumpy---I'm 5'11...how is that possible?! Maybe I should keep posting outfit pictures and it will motivate me to get back to the gym. I haven't been lately, and it's definitely starting to catch up to me, right around my stomach area. Bah.

Adventures in Knitting.

So, because Justin and I have seriously been trying to cut down our Christmas spending this year, I've been attempting to make a few gifts, including a couple of scarves. This has become especially important with my impulse shopping as of late, including the below dress ($20 at Wal-Mart!) and a couple of cute henleys with heart-shaped buttons (also at Wally World).


I SO should not have purchased these things along with the latest issues of Marie Claire and Glamour today. However, for under $40 for all of the above, I'm just gonna keep trying to convince myself that it will be okay, and do some more knitting as pennance. I already completed one scarf and when we were moving, I found another that I had started, but hadn't finished. The only problem? It's taken me DAYS to figure out what stitch I was using. Nothing logical seems to line up. Tonight, I came across something that looks very similar, so I'm just probably gonna call it good.

Here's the scarf tonight, after I knitted the top 4-8 rows. I think that from the front, it looks pretty much the same as the previous knitting, right? Tonight, I tried knit two, purl two; and then purl two, knit two for the next row.
However, from the BACK, the stitches definitely look a little bit different. See below (ps, the coloring in this picture is more true to life than the coloring in the above picture). See how the stitches towards the left of the picture look different than the stitches towards the right?


It almost looks like I INVERTED the stitches, doesn't it? But if that's the case I wonder why the other side looks the same? It almost looks like I did one row of knit two, purl two, followed by a whole row of knitting or purling. I don't know if I have the energy or patience to try and figure it out...who looks at the back side of a scarf anyway?

Any knitters out there have any ideas?

In other news, I don't have to be at work until 11am tomorrow morning, AND I'm going to that Bible Study tomorrow night. And maybe I'll even wear the hot red dress. It's going to be a good day.

Well that's nice.

So most of you that know me know that I am obsessive about taking my birth control pills at the SAME TIME every day. My cell phone alarm goes off, and I take the pill. I could count on one hand the number of times that I've been more than a half hour off my designated pill taking time. Seriously, I am compulsive. Friday, took my pill as normal. Kait and I even have a picture of us taking the same BCP at the same time. Saturday, took my pill as normal. Sunday, took the pill as normal. Monday, took the pill as normal.

At least, so I thought. I happened to look down at the pill pack last night and noticed that the pill I just took was in the "Monday" slot. Yes, it was Tuesday. I have NO idea when I would have missed a pill. Maybe it was yesterday, maybe it was two weeks ago, and I've been a pill short ever since. I have no idea. Which is nice. I decided to take them both last night just in case it was yesterday's that I missed.

And my dear, sweet, darling husband, was so excited to hear that I missed a pill, he almost jumped on the bed. He then quickly realized that was probably an inappropriate reaction, but quickly told me that he thinks this is my "sign". For months, Justin has wanted to have a baby. I haven't felt ready, I'm worried about potential complications, I feel like I'd be letting down my side of the family, we just bought a house....I'm just not EXCITED about it right now. And he so is. He and I have both been praying lately that God just let us know when it's our time to start trying--basically, give us a sign. Now, Justin thinks everything in the world is my sign.

The thing that REALLY sucks about this is that I'll probably be too paranoid to drink even one damn glass of wine over the holidays, which really sucks. I know that plenty a momma probably had a glass of wine before (or even after) she knew that she was preggo, with no adverse complications whatsoever. However, I am the QUEEN of worry, and if (God forbid) anything were to happen to my future baby, and I had had even a glass of wine, I'm not sure I would ever forgive myself. Which is funny, because I hear that in other countries preggo women have a glass of wine with dinner without so much as a sideways glance. Anyway...

Raspberry Balsamic Chicken--Celebratory Meal.

We are OFFICIALLY out of our apartment. I've gotta tell y'all that I really hated cleaning all evening only to come home and find my house...not clean. We were home by 7ish, and I had some chicken in the fridge that had defrosted by yesterday, but I was too tired to cook it yesterday, so I did tonight, as a "OUT OF APARTMENT" celebration. I also celebrated for other reasons you will read about below. Anyhoo, I've been raving about this recipe for Raspberry Balsamic Chicken for months. It's low cal, low fat, delicious, and hubby will eat it without ranch.

First, start off by grilling some chicken. I like to do mine on my little George-Foreman wanna-be, but an actual grill will work okay too. I have also sauteed the chicken in a fry pan along with a little olive oil and some red onion, which is my favorite way to prepare this recipe, but tonight I was going for speed. Season with some salt and pepper if you so desire.

While you're cooking the chicken, in a small pan combine one cup of raspberry jam and 6 tbsp of balsamic vinegar. You can also use blackberry or apricot jam, but raspberry is our favorite. Let it just bubble, and then turn the heat down to low. The sauce reverts back to a jelly-like state VERY quickly, so take the sauce off just before you're done cooking the chicken.


Stop and celebrate the fact that you finally have sweat pants/lounge pants long enough that you actually have to CUFF them to keep from stepping on them. Hubs stopped to give me a little squeeze as well and admired the polar fleece that was actually LONG ENOUGH and the new soft pants. Old Navy is currently my all time favorite. Seriously, I'm used to buying XXL so that they'll be long enough. I went with a large tall for these and was worried they might not fit. They're fantastic. I might have even been able to squeeze my butt into a Medium, but I like my lounge pants to be a little baggy. Don't be surprised if you see me in this very outfit for the next week. I am seriously tempted to 2-day ship another pair.



Doesn't this picture look very retro? It looks like I stole it off an old recipe book. In actuality, I took it this very evening in our funky lighted kitchen. Anyway, behold the delicious chicken. It's even better the next day when it has been sitting in the sauce all evening.

News...

So sure enough, the doctor just referred me to an orthopedist. She said, "Well, any time you have bone grinding on bone, it usually isn't a good thing." Ya think? So, it may take months to get into the orthopedist, and then if they think it's necessary, they'll order an MRI. In the meantime, the doctor put me on no stairs, no lifting, no unnecessary movement orders. Which was awesome, considering what I had to do all afternoon.

After the doctor, my dad, my sister and I hit up my fave sandwich shop for lunch. Then I went to Wally World and TJ Maxx, where I picked up a huge glass bowl that I've been lusting over that was on clearance. I had great plans to fill it with round Christmas ornaments. Yeah, until a guy cut me off in traffic and I had to slam on my breaks, and the bowl broke. I didn't even make it home with the stupid bowl.

I spent the rest of the day packing and cleaning the apartment. I was expecting to go in, have it be empty, and be able to clean. After all that J brought over yesterday, I wasn't anticipating that there would be much left. THERE IS SO MUCH LEFT! I packed up as much stuff as I could, cleaned quite a bit (which sucked because I forgot my allergy meds at home and it was dust city), and I finally threw away four big garbage bags full of stuff that I haven't missed and just didn't want to move. However, I also spent a LOT of time trekking up and down the stairs, and now rather than just my knee hurting, the pain is radiating all the way up to my hip. Nice. And just think...I get to do it all again tomorrow.

On the way home, we stopped to get some dinner, Justin's parents were driving by and saw our car, so they stopped and had dinner with us too. When we got home, Justin was a peach and unloaded all the stuff while I elevated and iced my leg. I watched an episode of Eli Stone, and The Hills. I'm considering watching either Grey's Anatomy or Gossip Girl as well. What can I say, I tend to use TV to get through the week when I'm not enjoying work. However, since we don't have cable, I usually have to wait until later to actually watch the show. Here's my rundown (as pathetic as it is):

Monday- Gossip Girl and The Hills
Tuesday- Fringe (on hiatus) and Eli Stone
Wednesday-Top Chef and Bones
Thursday- Grey's Anatomy

The only ones I ACTUALLY keep up with are Top Chef and Bones. The others I usually let accumulate for a couple of weeks and then watch during the weekend mornings when J is still sleeping and I'm awake.

Tomorrow, I have to go to work. Bah.

Doctor, Doctor, Give me Some News....

So, I'm headed off to the doctor (actually the nurse practitioner) to have her check out my knee. It's still doing that audible "pop", though not as much as last week, and still hurts like a biotch. I know that this is sort of a wasted trip--she'll probably just refer me for an MRI, which I'm not sure my insurance will cover. I know Justin's probably doesn't. Yay. Is it sad that I'm not looking forward to going for the sole reason that they'll probably weigh me?

Then, it's off to my parent's house to drop off the painting supplies they let us borrow, and I'll probably stop at the store and try to find some Cafe Yumm sauce there as well. I've been missing this heavenly concoction that turns rice and beans into bowls of....well...heaven. To all you who aren't in Oregon--nahner nahner...you can't have any. But you could make some if you're really so inclined. As many things found only in Oregon, it's wheat free, dairy free, gluten free, sugar free, and low in sodium. Obviously, it has nuts in it, so don't make it if you're allergic to nuts. But then, you wouldn't be a pseudo hippie if you were allergic to nuts, now would you?

I may also drop by the used bookstore to see if I have any credit left, because I love me some used books.

Next, it's off to the apartment (BAH HUMBUG!) to do some final loading and cleaning. We have to be totally out by Wednesday. I am not looking forward to this part of the day at all because the stairs coupled with the bending over that cleaning requires really wreak havoc on the knee. NOT fun. Poor Justin is sicker than a dog too, so we'll just have to battle through it together I suppose.

Better.

Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers from my post this morning. It HAS been a dry time for me lately, and Thursday night was sort of the low-point over the last few months. That said, it felt incredibly nice to actually talk (write) about the struggles that I'm going through right now, because I don't do that in real life. In real life, everything's "fine" pretty much all the time. So it's nice that this blog can act as a way for me to vent some of my frustrations. However, I also don't want this blog to make it seem like everything in my life is bad. I certainly don't take time out of my day to blog about everyday blessings nearly as often as I should, and so I'm making a concerted effort to do that. And there WERE many things that happened today that were blessings.

-We got to spend time with Kait before she goes back to Arkansas, as well as her whole family. Yesterday was her dad's 49th birthday! And it was just so wonderful hanging out at her parent's house tonight. Their house always feels like I'm spending time at home.

-While I was over there, I learned that Kait's sister Meg has started a Bible Study called Simply Faith. Basically, it's a group of people that gather together to study, sing, and worship. But here's the catch--no electricity. It's done by candle-light, and no electronics of any kind are allowed--no cell phones, and only acoustic guitars. The goal is to bring the focus back to God, and His word. Not the show or the pretense.

And get this...the Bible Study is on Thursday nights! Which is great! I feel like I will finally have something to do on Thursday nights, and I have been telling Justin that I really want to find a Bible Study with other people our age, even if they're from a different church than the one that we attend. This is EXACTLY what I need spiritually--it reminds me so much of Holden Evening Prayer that we used to do in college, which is by far my favorite worship experience I have ever been involved in.

-Lisa. My dear, sweet Lisa. I've mentioned before that she was an absolutely fantastic roommate for me to have because she balanced me out so perfectly. I was the worrywart, and she was the one that went with the flow, and convinced me that it wasn't worth worrying over. You may have noticed that she left me a comment to the previous post entirely in Spanish. There was this song that I learned in high school spanish called "La Vida Es Un Carnaval" sung by both Celia Cruz and Isaac Delgado. We used to listen to Delgado's version ALL THE TIME. There's one portion of the song that I love, and it goes like this:

"Todo aquel que piensa que la vida siempre es cruel, tiene que saber que no es asi, hay tan solo momentos malos, y todo pasa. Ay, no hay que llorar, que la vida es un carnaval, y es mas bello vivir cantando...."

Roughly translated, it means "Everyone who thinks that life is always terrible needs to know that it isn't that way--there are only bad moments, and they all pass. Life is a carnaval, and it's better to go through life singing." What a perfect reminder for me right now.

I couldn't find the same version by Isaac Delgado that we used to listen to, but I did find a YouTube video of a couple doing the Samba to a similar version of the song for the Latin American version of "So You Think You Can Dance". Check it out....I can't help but smile whenever I listen to this song.

Let's Be Honest...

Hear my cry, O God; listen to my prayer. From the ends of the earth I call to you, I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than I. For you have been my refuge, a strong tower against the foe. I long to dwell in your tent forever and take refuge in the shelter of your wings. (Psalm 61:1-4)

Let's be honest. Nothing is okay right now. Physically, Mentally, Emotionally, and Spiritually, I am not okay. I hate my job right now. Justin and I have been fighting...a lot. Spiritually, the one thing that was feeding me is kaput. No matter where we go, between Justin and I, we're both only being spiritually fed half the time. Is that worth it? My friends are all leaving soon. It's a DAILY battle for me not to start cutting again. I was hoping that the weariness I was experiencing was Thanksgiving and Moving related, but it's clearly much, much deeper than that. J and I had a loooong talk last night, and I am now hopeful, but still very, very weary.

Smoke on the Water

Okay, so most of you that actually know Justin and I know that Justin chews. And you also know how much I absolutely HATE that he chews. I hate it more than anything in the world. And honestly, I've always felt a little bit lied to about the chewing, because he didn't really do it around me when we were dating or engaged...so I just didn't realize how MUCH he did it when I wasn't around--which is all the time. Now that we're married, he does it all the time whether or not I'm around. Seriously, I never even try to kiss the guy anymore because any time I do, it's "Sorry babe, I have a dip in." Yeah. Makes a girl feel REAL important. And he wonders why I don't initiate sex--I'll tell you why--because every time I do, I lose out to the effing chew. I've had countless conversations with him about this, and actually asked him not to chew in the new house--to go outside to the garage or whatever to chew. I really don't know whether or not he's been obliging that rule. And it's a lose-lose situation, because if he doesn't chew, he's a mean jerk. I know that it's just withdrawls, but it sucks to have that mean-ness focused on you.

So, now we've established my hatred for all things tobacco. Last night Justin was making us grilled cheese in our little tiny kitchen, when the following ensued:

Me [joking]: Babe, you smell like an ashtray, what have you been doing, smoking?
---silence---
Me [so not joking]: Oh my God...you HAVE been smoking, haven't you?!
Justin: Well, I did finish off that pack [WHAT pack?!?!] and have a few sympathy smokes with Chris. I was gonna lie about it, but I thought that I probably shouldn't and that will get me in even more trouble.
Me: How long?
J: Not very long.
Me: I'm pissed.
J: I know.

I don't think we spoke to each other again that night. We weren't being mean exactly--we sat on the couch together and watched Bones, but we didn't speak. I apparently yelled at him after I fell asleep, but I don't remember that. I chewed him out again today on the phone, but it's probably a lost cause because nothing will change. His whole family chews or smokes, as does everyone he works with. As does practically every male in this stupid farm town. His grandmother DIED from emphysema, and he still doesn't give a shit.

The thing that really sucks about it is that to me, he's choosing this vice over our lives together. To me, his choice to chew and smoke means that tobacco is more important to him than seeing our future kids get married. It's more important than me, or than our life together. And that sucks.

This whole situation makes me want to go tanning--but I suppose that would be hypocritical of me.

It's like the 70's!

Justin picked up my prescription on the way home from work. We ran to get some dinner (TB--SO not good for me, but I was craving it really badly), I sat down on the couch, took my prescription, and I literally remember NOTHING after that. I woke up this morning not remembering how I got to my bed, or even what day it was. I felt like I could have slept for another 16 hours easily. But, I felt like I HAD to go to work today, so I dragged myself out of bed and came. I'm still not feeling great, but I'm making it through the day. I pretty much have to stay this afternoon since I'll be the only one here.

After work, we have to head to the apartment to clean out more crap. I am so over the apartment business. We haven't missed anything that's over there, so why not just throw it away?! But noooooooo...we might need it some day, says my silly husband!

Sure enough...

Bladder infection. Cause of the puking was probably because my AZO was expired. Justin is picking up my prescription as we speak. Then doing some more of the apartment moving. Bless him!

I updated my nest bio with some new house pictures. Click here if you're interested in seeing how the house is coming along. There are a few that blog readers haven't seen yet. What do y'all think?

Bread and Butter

That's right folks, I just ate another exciting meal of bread and butter. Yay. I called in sick from work this morning, which means I've had a 6 day weekend, which would have been fabulous had I actually been feeling well for most of it. I probably could have gone in today, but I knew that I needed to go into the doctor and have some tests done, and I wasn't sure when the doctor's office would be able to fit me in. Plus, after all the puking, a day of rest is probably good for me, even if it WILL make going back to work extremely difficult.

Let me preface what I'm about to say by saying that I am EXTREMELY thankful to have a job in this economy. Sadly, because of the economic difficulties that many families are facing, my job has been busier than ever. Most days, I really believe in what I do, and am proud to be doing it. BUT, a significant portion of me is feeling really restless about work, which seems to be a pretty common thing for me. I'm not sure whether it's the fact that I just haven't found a job that I LOVE doing, or whether I just get bored. I do know that the work environment certainly has something to do with it--employees threatening to sue each other is rarely ever a good and happy thing.

Really, I'd love to be able to just sit around all day, read, go shopping, take some pictures, knit, and cook home-made fantastic dinners every night. That would be lovely...and it's making it really difficult for me to tune-out my baby fever right now. Who AM I? How many women my age have baby fever?! They're out at the clubs partying all the time, and here I am talking about how maybe it would be nice to be a stay-at-home momma (and believe me, I KNOW that if I were a stay-at-home mom, I probably would be lucky to get dinner on the table, let alone knitting and reading!). But somewhere deep inside me worries that after a year or so, I might get tired of that too. Not to mention the fact that we really couldn't afford a baby right now with the house purchase. As my darling husband loves to remind me, people make it work every day, even when they didn't think that they could, and that if we wait until we're completely financially stable to have a baby, we never will.

Anyway, enough of my rambling for the day....

Good finds!

I was feeling better this afternoon and had to go into town to pay our last 10 days of apartment rent for the apt. by today (!!!), so I decided to do some quick grocery shopping and stop by Goodwill to see how I fared. I had some GREAT finds at Goodwill today for both Justin and myself. I didn't notice the brands of the shirts (Abercrombie and Gap) I got for Justin until I got home, and I'm not sure if he'll wear them once he sees where they're from, but I like them. Check it out:

Clockwise from top: Abercrombie shirt for Justin- $4, Gap Shirt for Justin- $3.00, Light Purple Mossimo shirt (I actually had this very same sweater a few years ago and LOVED it, but I accidentally ripped it)- $3.00, and lastly a sweater from The Limited- $3.99. Grand total, less than $15. I love the color of the sweater from The Limited, but it is kind of odd--there are buttons all the way around the inside collar of the shirt. I wonder if it was one of those fake dress shirt-sweater combos?

In other news:
-I found my SLR camera! Yay!
-MIL stopped by today to show Pam our new house. They asked if I wanted to go with them to BK for lunch. I said no thank you--that I hadn't been feeling well for a couple of days and didn't think I could do the grease. MIL made a joke that I must be pregnant. These jokes have SERIOUSLY increased since we bought a house. I think Justin's side of the family wants us to start having babies ASAP. I think my side of the family doesn't. Obviously, it's our decision either way we go. It's just funny to notice the contrast between the two families.
-I made an appointment to see the doctor next week about my knee. For those of you not in the know, I hurt my knee a little over a month ago doing squats. For awhile, I couldn't bend OR straighten it all the way. Now, I can bend and straighten it, but any time I do either of those things, there's a loud, audible, painful "pop". Yay. I am kind of falling apart.

Have a fantastic day everyone!

ON- Again.

So, on Sunday I gave into the months long urge when I saw that Old Navy actually had fleece pants in the TALL section in my size. The only color they had was bright pink, which is not my favorite, but I'll deal. You all have no idea how long I've been looking for some workout/lounge pants that are cute but also actually long enough. I also got a half-zip fleece in tall, which I'm really excited about. Of course, as fate would have it, for the second time in a row, I made my purchases the DAY BEFORE a big sale. Today, ON is offering 20% off plus free shipping. I haven't decided whether or not to call and ask them to honor the sale (they did last time). Is it really their fault that I have bad timing?

Other than that, it's a good thing Monday is my day off, 'cause I'm sicker than a dog. I went to bed with some SERIOUS heartburn like I've never had before. All I had eaten were some mashed potatoes and jello, so I have no idea what was up with that. I woke up in the middle of the night with what felt like a bladder infection. Great. Got up, took some meds, sat on the couch for about a half hour, and then spent the rest of the night throwing up. Awesome. The good news is that I don't feel bladder infection-y any more. The bad news is that I still feel sicker than a dog. And I REALLY need to go grocery shopping. Maybe I can push it off til tomorrow, I just won't be able to eat anything that we currently have in the house. But then again, maybe it isn't such a bad idea if I don't eat anything and only drink liquids for awhile.